Emma Lavelle Coaching

Step 01 of designing a life that’s unmistakably yours? Because you wake up with the excitement of a kid who built their own pirate den meets trampoline bedroom and is deeply satisfied with their life choices?

Awareness of feeling enough.

Creating the safety to realise when you’re taking a decision because you think someone else will give you approval or because you are in integrity and alignment with your own values.

And so I like to start with two questions:
1. Do I feel loved?
2. Do I feel safe?

And if both get a yes?

Do I feel enough?

Yes to all three? Green light on decision making, go go!

Red light to any? Pause, slow down adjust before the next decision ❤️

This weeks voice note goes into how to build your Life Atelier practise step by step, the link to listen is in my profile, or stories!

What IS coaching? For me there’s two types, pure which is the space created by your coach where we act as a mirror so you can see your blind spots, which we all have by design.

This can create ‘oh fck - I see it!’ Results in a flash OR it can feel like the most frustrating experience in the world as you battle with your own mind and then yes, get to the pride and relief of ‘oh fck. I see it’ and then cry/sleep/dance depending on the answer.

Then there’s what I lean towards, embodied coaching, being the mirror as needed but also a more dynamic space - bringing tools, sharing my latest discoveries from my own bruises and life experiences, offering what I see as the mirror vs waiting, noticing that a tool you’ve been using might not be the best fit for where you are on your journey (today could be a 1kg weight day that will get you the muscle you want far faster than the 5kg weight you’re currently enthusiastically heading towards a torn muscle with for example 💛’

Both coaching styles are deeply valuable.

And what you need or want at a given moment will be different, the best place to start? Ask how you learn best, ask what energy fires you up.

Ask yourself - can I trust this coach to be honest with me. Can I trust them to be more committed to my growth than me liking them?

And the answer? Do you think they’re honest with themselves? Do you think they can look themselves in the mirror with love and compassion whilst also heading back out into the life arena for another bruise 😆

So. Quick summary

Pure coaching vs embodied coaching:
And I’d love to know if you have experience of both/either?

The reason I picked and to guide me through strength and flexibility, was absolutely her embodied coaching!

🪞Pure coaching: a mirror to see your blind spots & the space to explore & work it out through trial & error, self-discovery

💪 Embodied coaching: your coach brings the mirror, the space AND a set of tools they’re using in their own work to show you how to build the muscle minus the bruise they are cheerfully wearing. A little sweaty. In it with you, but ahead.

Before I do something, I like to calculate the potential cost so I can position myself for success,this can be active clearing space on my calendar, or cleaning my podcasts to make sure it’s easy to create processing time if my brain is working hard

AND factoring in the emotional energy cost.

Fear is physical, grief is physical, your heart literally responds to them as though you are running from a tiger.

It’s why you might be thirsty, p*e more, feel heavy! Your body is doing stuff even if you’re sitting still.

And these emotions are an opportunity.

If we calculate processing space for them, on the other side? Joy. Peace. Confidence. Deep safety.

Our brain REALLY doesn’t want us to experience the ‘bad’ emotions, so it persuades us to watch Netflix, have a glass of wine, postpone the uncomfortable conversation.

What I train myself and my clients to do? Go there.
Visualise what you want in your mind, ask yourself what’s possible on the other side of the emotion, how long will the emotion actually last if you stay with it and process it (30 seconds to a 45 minutes if it’s really bad) and why would you want to?

THEN take a decision.

I’m an enneagram 7 w8 - we hate to be sad, Joy is so easy for us but without going into the sad feelings we stay at surface level Joy, the emotion you’re avoiding always unlocks access to the deeper more satisfying crunch of the emotions you want, so I’m curious what emotions you avoid the most!

Emma ✨🐆💛