The Be Worthy Studio - Grief & Loss

There's something that happens when you sit in a room with people who just get it, without having to explain yourself first.

I've watched it happen so many times in the Grief Café, someone says one sentence, and two or three others are nodding before they've even finished. That kind of recognition is its own kind of medicine.

You don't have to carry this alone. Grief Café held on the 1st & 3rd Wednesday of every month 4–5pm, at The Heart of Headcorn.

Be Worthy. Connect. 🌿

Something I noticed within my grief several years ago has resurfaced lately, in a different form, through solo parenting.

Back then, staying constantly busy wasn’t really about getting things done. It was avoidance. As long as I kept doing, kept moving, kept achieving, it felt okay, even “fine,” even though some of what I was carrying actually needed rest and its own acknowledgment, not more motion. Stopping meant facing my reality. It meant letting my husband’s death be real. So I stayed in the doing, because that felt like the better option than feeling what I actually felt. I hadn’t yet learned how to be with my emotions, that came later, and that adrenaline pattern was part of what eventually led me to where I am now, supporting others with their grief and all that comes with that.

What comes up now, through solo parenting, is different. It’s less about avoiding feelings and more about the fear of falling behind, of not keeping up with everything that needs to happen, of not being good enough in my Mum/Dad role. It still keeps me on a kind of adrenaline ride sometimes, but the root of it has changed.

If any of this is familiar, busyness that once shielded you from something too big to face, or busyness now that’s really about keeping up rather than avoiding, it’s worth noticing which one you’re actually in. They ask for different things.

We talk about exactly this kind of pattern inside Anchor Within Membership and it’s often one of the first things that shifts in 1:1 work too.

Don’t know why I worry, the kids fine! 🤣🤿🤷‍♀️

I haven’t pulled a card in a couple of days. But this evening I pulled 3 for this group.

This is what I got:

I sat with these before I opened the guidebook and just let them speak to me. And this is what came through for you today.

Wolf Spirit first. Don’t shy away from what you’re going through. I know that feels like the opposite of what every instinct tells you. Grief is uncomfortable in a way that’s almost impossible to describe to someone who hasn’t been there. But there is something profound that happens when we stop running from it and start getting curious about it instead. What is it teaching you? What are you learning about yourself, about your strength, your love, your capacity, that you never would have discovered any other way? Your grief has wisdom in it. Let it speak.

Eagle Spirit, you are not alone in this. There are people who have your back. Your community. The people in this group. The ones who show up, who listen, who understand without you having to explain. And beyond that, there is something bigger holding you too, call it spirit, the universe, whatever feels true for you, that is carrying you through even the moments when you can’t feel it.

And then Starfish Spirit. This is the one that’s speaking to me most today. Don’t let grief put boundaries on your life. And don’t let your life put boundaries on your grief either, let it be what it is, feel what it feels, and at the same time know that infinite possibility still exists for you. There is still so much ahead. You are allowed to want it. You are allowed to wonder what’s next. And somewhere in that wondering, how might you honour your person in a way you never imagined possible? A new tradition. A cause. A way of living that carries their memory forward. Not instead of grieving, alongside it, from love.

You are not defined by your loss. You are expanded by it, if you let yourself be.

If you’re ready to explore what that looks like in a gentle, supported space, the Anchor Within membership is built for exactly this journey, a little at a time, at your own pace.

Which of these three cards speaks to you most today?

Crying means you're not coping. Not crying means you're not grieving.

Neither is true.

I've had days where I sobbed through an entire day, and days where I felt completely numb and worried that meant I didn't care enough. Both were just grief, doing what grief does.
There's no correct amount of visible emotion that proves you're grieving "properly." Your grief doesn't need to perform itself to count.

If you've been quietly judging your own grief, I promise you don't need to. Message me, or come find support in Anchor Within Membership. 🌿

366 affirmations, one for every day of the year, including the leap years.

Some days in grief you don't have the words for yourself. This is for those days, open it anywhere, and there's something steadying already written for you.

Find it in my payhip shop. Link in bio on Insta or below in comments on fb

Grief has five stages, and you move through them in order.

It doesn't work like that.

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, these were never meant to be a checklist. Real grief loops. It doubles back. You can feel acceptance on a Tuesday and anger again by Thursday, and that's not you doing it wrong.

There's no order. There's just wherever you actually are. 🌿

Inside Anchor Within this month: alongside the live sessions, there's a full teaching on nervous system tools, tapping, breathwork, connecting with the subconscious, yours to return to any time.
It's one of my favourite things I've built into this space. If you've been curious, this is exactly the kind of thing that's waiting inside. 🌿

https://payhip.com/b/nlKrf

Anchor Within — The Be Worthy Studio Membership Grief takes our anchor away. It strips everything back and forces you to reevaluate, you're different, your life is different, and trying to rebuild from that place can be really hard. You don't know who you are anymore.

I had a moment recently where someone said something kind to me, and my instant reaction was to hand it straight back, “yeah, but I’ve still got so much else to do.” I do that a lot, I’ve realised. Deflecting the good stuff, almost as if I’m not allowed to just receive it.

We’re all human. Every time we learn, shift, or grow through one thing, we make space to recognise another. And sometimes the same pattern comes back around, but for different reasons, in a different shape, because of a different experience.

For me, not trusting good things to stay didn’t come from one loss, it came from multiple losses, every time things started to get better, or easier, or okay, something else would come along. Another loss. Another life complication. Another transition. Over time, I lost trust in life being allowed to just be okay.

But I also know that’s a belief that got built over time. It’s not the reality of things now. And working that out, recognising it, and slowly working through it, is just part of the reality of life and growth.

If that’s familiar to you, you’re not alone in it. Learning to actually receive, praise, rest, relief, love, support, is also grief work, even though it doesn’t always look like it.

This is a big part of what we work on together, whether that’s in Anchor Within Membership or in 1:1 sessions.