Horizon Coaching & Training

I've been having some discussions about burnout recently and this article has some relevant points. I think its super important to realise that burnout is not due to some individual failing, and sometimes, the implicit messages from wellbeing initiatives is that the problem is in you, not in the system. No amount of yoga is going to make you feel better about a 2yr waiting list in your NHS service, for example, and mindfulness will not help with having 100 children on your social work caseload.

It is absolutely vital to push back against unreasonable demands from your employer, but often we don't because we feel helpless in the face of knowing there just aren't the resources, and we are committed to our jobs. And sometimes we are just too tired to fight back any more. Sometimes, the yoga or mindfulness, or the coaching, can help not with burnout, but with getting clarity on what the issue is and who has power to do something about it. I think it also does serve a helpful purpose in giving ourselves the message that we matter.

My coaching is never about putting up with unworkable job demands or toxic bosses, it is about creating a space for your needs to be important enough to spend precious time on, that you are 'worth it', to coin a phrase. It may be the one point in your week where you have that space and time, and that can allow deeper thinking to take place about what needs to change.

https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2021/03/how-tell-if-you-have-burnout/618250/?fbclid=IwAR1bWWgvUvayNKIyxeEA4kmQTiATAhcwZg16OqPOdJ-z7vo_asfsIpKMbto

Only Your Boss Can Cure Your Burnout People refer to various forms of malaise as “burnout,” but it’s technically a work problem. And only your employer can solve it.

What’s the worst thing you can do first thing when you start work in the mornings?

Is it
A. Make a cup of tea
B. Chat to your colleagues
C. Open your email inbox
D. Speak to your boss

Answers in the comments please!

There is something rather wonderful about this article, and if you are lacking in confidence, altering your talk and self talk so you “stop apologising for your existence” would be a great start

I’ve stopped apologising for myself. Sometimes I am marvellous! Saddled with a big ego and low self-esteem, I used to bruise like a peach. Since having a mental health crisis, I am rewiring and rebuilding

This is a timely (!) watch if your thoughts are starting to wander in the direction of 2021. Laura makes some good points about time management being more about priorities than efficiencies.

How to gain control of your free time There are 168 hours in each week. How do we find time for what matters most? Time management expert Laura Vanderkam studies how busy people spend their lives, and she's discovered that many of us drastically overestimate our commitments each week, while underestimating the time we have to ourselves....

I’ve been thinking about the concept of risk taking in relation to service development recently. One of my biggest frustrations working for the NHS was the slow pace of innovation and change, mainly because everyone felt hamstrung by red tape, protocol etc.

Now I am certainly not a maverick or believe in taking risks with patient care, but it seemed to me the biggest risks managers were reluctant to take were being told off by someone ‘above’ them and trying out small scale new projects with a (small) risk of failure.

It’s something I’ve seen often in women I have been coaching - the worry about not being ‘a good girl’, being admonished, making a mistake. Something socialized in early on and then maintained by cumbersome systems.

If this sounds familiar, it’s worth asking, what about the risks of doing nothing? What about the risks of staying the same? What about the risks of putting up with poor systems, poor patient journeys, poor interventions that don’t meet people’s needs?

At the start of my career, someone very wise, Gwenan Roberts, told me to do what I felt was right, not wait for permission, and I could always apologise afterwards. That stuck with me and when I was clear about what needed to be done, I did it. I think in 20yrs I got a minor telling off on one occasion - which probably means I could and should have taken more ‘risks’.

Try asking; what’s the worst that can happen? What’s the best that can happen? What happens (to me, to staff, to the service) if we do nothing? And ask yourself whether you are playing the role of the ‘good girl’ too far?

Rainy day so it’s good to have some CPD to inspire me. A webinar today from the one and only Professor in Positive Psychology Coaching, Christian Van Niewerburgh. Positive psychology focuses on wellbeing, strengths and what makes for good life satisfaction. It’s not about PMA or being happy all the time, but it fits very much with the idea of building on your values and strengths for a meaningful life.

If I had one top tip for both productivity and minimising distractions and preventing derailing good habits, it would be to turn off all notifications (pings, labels and sounds) and hide icons and shortcuts for emails, social media (!) and texts.

We often overestimate our willpower, underestimate the cleverness of tech designers in getting us shortcut hooked, and in doing so make it harder for ourselves to do what we know is good for us.

Many of my coaching calls are (initially) punctuated by the sounds of phones, texts and email notifications, and one of the first things I do is ask clients, what would life look like if you valued yourself as much as you value being responsive to others?

If it feels anxiety provoking, how about just turning them all off for an afternoon and noticing what happens. Are you driven by urges to check? Do you find it hard to focus? Or do you find once you get going, you can concentrate better?

How about experimenting with what is left of today?

Yesterday was a badly planned day on my part, working late, quick hour with the kids, who then took ages to go to bed. Whilst they were faffing around I was thinking, please just go to bed, I want to go for a walk before it gets dark. And of course the more I thought that, the grumpier I was and the longer they took to settle down.
When I finally got out for my walk, I spent the first half an hour stomping along in a bad mood 😒
Then it hit me. I was doing exactly what I wanted to, and yet I wasn’t present with it or savouring it. I’d made choices that day which meant I was late home from the job I enjoy, to my very much wanted kids, and out on a walk in some beautiful scenery, and yet I was too busy complaining in my head about things not being the way I wanted them to be.

Holding on too tight to expectations of how things ‘should’ be can obscure the way things really are. So for the last portion of my walk, I tried to notice how things really were. The warmth emanating from the stone walls, the pipits flying over the moor, the smell of sheep wool, and the beautiful sunset which I’ve totally failed to capture below in my photos!

I remember that feeling of dread, opening my inbox and seeing hundreds of unread messages. That was my day to day life when I started out as a manager in the NHS. Add in the phone calls, drop ins, and endless meetings, and I felt swamped by lunch time every day. I have always been a really efficient person, working quickly and in an organised way, but I quickly realised that no magic system was going to stop me from drowning. The waves were just too big and too frequent. Sound familiar?

It was time to apply psychology to the problem. Understanding what was important and to who, what core beliefs I had which might lead me to getting in my own way, and being really clear about my values, actually made it easy to prioritise. The email avalanche didn't stop, I still left my office door open so I was available for the team, but what changed was me and the way I evaluated the to-do list. I stopped doing 'busy-work' and divided up my time differently so that I could work with my team to move our service forward. I know thats what most of you want to do, to be proactive and strategic.

It certainly wasn't easy and a few times I reverted back to ticking off quick and easy tasks just to get a sense of achievement, but with those clear values literally right in front of me (on my wall, for those of you on here who knew me then!) I had a constant reminder to get back on track. Have you started to work differently and then found you reverted back to your old habits? Sometimes we make superficial changes and they just don't stick.

So, no magic system, no email folders, no empty inbox tricks and I certainly can't stop the tide of tasks! But I can help you to find out what your values are, how you might be getting in your own way inadvertently, and I can coach and guide you through your first steps at organising your work time differently. Is this something you want to try? Drop me a line, a message, a text - my door is (still!) always open.

So I’ve written on this page about values being at the heart of how I coach any of the key leadership or managerial skills. But I’ve yet to talk about my own values, so here goes...

1. Sustainability - I’m deeply concerned about the environment and the legacy we are leaving. To that end I operate a sustainable business. This means my banking, purchases and subscriptions are as low carbon and ethical as possible, I have a business model where I only take a wage which supports myself and my family, and my aim is to reduce consumption and waste within the business (and my life). I will not sell you sessions or a product you don’t need.

2. Inclusion and accessibility - I want to make sure that my services as a coach are accessible to anyone regardless of their needs. This means I will bear the cost of any adjustments required (like interpreters, accessibility equipment etc), and I will make an active offer to find out about and meet your needs. I also offer a number of low cost coaching options for those who might otherwise struggle to access coaching, and will support charities with similar aims with my time. I will also to endeavor to listen and seek to understand any discrimination you may have suffered and how this has affected your career.

3. Evidence based - I am committed to staying up to date with the latest coaching research, applying the evidence base, and only delivering workshops and coaching with sound research behind it. I also measure the impact of coaching on an ongoing basis and share the results with you, so you can feel confident that you’re getting something that works.

These three values are at the heart of my coaching and training, and whilst there are others, I find these three guide my decisions and approach to the greatest extent. If you’d like to know more about using your values to guide your direction, feel free to get in touch.

Have you ever had the experience of talking to someone, and just knowing their attention is elsewhere?

Some of the most disappointing meetings and discussions I’ve had in my life and as an employee have been when I haven’t felt listened to. Perhaps the other person is multitasking, the notifications are pinging in the background, or they are so busy talking at me they aren’t hearing anything I’m saying.

It’s probably a universal experience and we can all say, yes I hate that too. But let’s be honest, have you sometimes fallen into the same trap? Common reasons for this are being too busy, being anxious about getting a clear message across yourself, or just not being invested in the relationship.

For new managers who are finding their feet, learning to really listen might not be the first thing you think of in skills development, but I would argue it’s the most crucial. What we know from performance psychology and therapeutic change is, relationship development is fundamental to motivation. And the cornerstone of relationships is a shared understanding. And to build a shared understanding - yes, you guessed it, being able to listen. Simple? Umm, no not really!

Listening skills include attention, body language, reflection, summarizing, clarifying, empathy, benevolently challenging, finding common ground, and ultimately being present and ready to connect yourself.

How often do you demonstrate all of the above?