Matt Knibb Mental Health First Aid Training

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL MENS DAY!!!

Celebrating masculinity in 2022 is SO HARD. We men know that the objective is to be kind without getting the p**s taken, to be strong without being hardened, to be generous AND financially responsible, to be principled but also open to new ideas, to be able to assert ourselves without being domineering, to be the steady, stable and reliable rock - but also be fun, to be a family man in a society still built on sexist ideals of women as the homemaker and so on and so on. ALL with almost no examples to look up to as this has never before been asked of any generation of men.

(

So how do we achieve this? We (all of us, men and women) have the choice. We expect men to achieve the impossible and vilify at will those who don't, or we recognise that the su***de rates for men are partially due to society's expectations and we give men a break!!!

Honestly, as the reader, it's on YOU (whether you'rea guy or girl). Judge men, hold unrealistic expectations, gossip, bitch and bicker about how a man hasn't met the impossible expectations you decided are reasonable OR vow to accept men as they are. Celebrate men when we're strong and when we're weak. When we're virtuous and when we're sinful. When you agree with us and when you disagree. When we make mistakes and when we pull you out of the s**t. Nobody is perfect, one day society might remember to accept that, then eventually even learn to celebrate it.

And remember, the equation for happiness is expectations - reality. Lower the expectations to increase the happiness!

Who am I? I got asked that question today and thought it might be best to explain.

I'm Matt Knibb, a qualified Mental Health First Aid instructor offering the full 2 day adult course via MHFA England. This Instagram is very much my shop window in the absence of a website and it's important to me. It's important because no matter how neutral your MHFAid Instructor tries to be you (the delegate) are always going to inherit some characteristics from your trainer/ instructor. So this page is as authentic as I can make it because that's what you're going to get on the courses and if it's not for you it's important you know that in advance. My point of difference over other trainers is ME!

I use adult language and discuss adult themes because I am an adult and the course is for adults about adults. My ethos is that there's way too much fluff and bluster around mental health and cutting through that to real life strategies to improve mental health is far more important than outdated concepts of professionalism. That said I prepare thoroughly for every aspect of every course I deliver and pride myself on my dedicated approach to the subject, including extensive reading in my own time.

I have more posts planned for this week where I'll discuss stigma and reveal more about my pragmatic ethos. But, for now, thanks everyone for the follows and the support.

P.s. image created by my head of digital marketing/ 9 year old daughter - no really, 5 minutes on 2 apps and she bashes that out!

P.p.s. my fulltime job is as a head of PE at the wonderful Threeways School in Bath.

***deprevention

So I very rarely put up pictures of actual me - mainly because every other fu**er on Instagram is so fu***ng sexy! And it's not that I'm not confident in my appearance in person, I just dislike pictures of me! But it's days like this one from a few weeks back when worries like that evaporate.

A sunrise drive down to the beach with a solid friend (left the house before 6am FFS!), excellent chat all the way then a stunning and completely uninhabited beach I'd not been to before, National Trust parking was already paid for, the most chilled out swim followed by a banging walk along the cliff tops.

THEN... (as if that wasn't enough) I spent the evening reconnecting with 3 of the oldest and best friends a guy could have. Barbecue and p**sing ourselves laughing around a firepit until the early hours. Just a shame I gave everyone covid!

When you bother to do 'the work' and figure out where the holes are in your life, and which holes are important to fill and which less so you develop a new appreciation for the people that fill that void for you. (And you have less of a problem ditching those people that just contribute to the holes!)

Transcriptions read;

"Wild we go to lose our troubles and cleanse our souls"

"It is a luxury to be understood"

"Nature is the living visible garment of God"

(Disclaimer, I'm not religious)

These tiles are in the Cornish house of some of my most excellent friends (not pictured because they're wary of social media). So I'm not only posting about the wisdom on display - particularly the middle one (❤) but the MASSIVE wellbeing benefits of having excellent friends who are willing to understand you, question you, listen to you, remember who you have always been, appreciate you, judge you on their experiences of you and advise you realistically but also optimistically and ambitiously.

My advice to you - do your best to find these friends but also BE these friends. The impact of seeing these friends for even just a short visit is HUGE. Just resets the course and puts wind in the sails.

Ain't that the truth!

As a great philosopher once said "shoot you shot bro".

Our time here is finite and we never know when it's going to come to an end. So live your live life you mean it. Fail forward. Go after it. Have some!

Since Paddy Pimblett made his amazing statement at there has been a MASSIVE increase in the number of men seeking someone to talk to about their mental health. This just reveals that the need was always there and it takes someone to lead by example, drag men's mental health out of the shadows and in doing so rid the world of the stigma around just talking.

I'm fairly open about my diagnosis of complex PTSD and I'm currently receiving CBT for it. We need more men to be more open about their mental health however.

The need remains there and I feel so privileged to be able to help address that need. The MHFA England Mental Health First Aid courses I deliver teach you, specifically, how to listen to someone telling you about their mental health.

You can be a part of the solution for your colleagues, your friends, your family or even just people in your sphere somewhere.

I've just booked in a new course for October 25th and 28th (dm me to book on via the MHFA website), or if you have a whole institution that needs training just dm me for sooner dates.

I genuinely believe this could be a moment in time where the tide starts to turn but more of us need to join Paddy in the bright lights and leave stigma in the shadows.

***deprevention

People around you benefit when you qualify as a mental health first aider.

For them it means they have a person in their lives who is able to initiate a conversation around mental health without stigma. A person who has been trained to listen and communicate non judgementally. A person who is able to give support empathetically and a person who knows where and how to get further professional support if it is wanted.

You friends, family, colleagues, neighbours - everyone you interact with benefits from you gaining that knowledge. Even your bin men.

It's mental health awareness week, if you can do it for those around you then let me help you get there.

Even if the course isn't for you, DM me and start the conversation.

Just celebrating the simplicity of taking things back to basics is a win! All gets a bit over complicated sometimes I reckon, and, at times like that it's probably best to remember to just do the basics well.

There's a hierarchy of needs that anyone who studied psychology or sports science from A Level upwards will have seen as many times as they've drawn the water cycle in high school science lessons. It states that our primary needs are physiological and, with a little further reading, we discover that if the needs of the previous level are unfulfilled then the needs of the next level are not possible to fulfil in a longterm, sustainable and meaningful way.

So, if you're looking at achieving anything in the top half of the triangle, you HAVE to meet the needs in the lower half, otherwise the progress you make towards your goal at the top will not be sustained. Soz!

So go back to basics, eat well, sleep well, hydrate, be kind, connect to nature and remember the original purpose of instagram is for pictures of your food! (And your food isn't even that good anyway!)

Yeah, f**k it, why not?

I mean, it's a lot easier said than done, I'll give you that. But IF you're able to let go of that which makes/ made you sad/ anxious/ stressed/ depressed then let it the f**k go.

There's better things in life to focus on. I had a miniature colin the caterpillar cake today. That's something worth holding on to!

Starting to believe more and more in there being a universal intention/ fate. By chance the book my daughter chose for her bedtime story last night had this quote in the front of it. The book was a collection of greek myths we had given my son years ago and I had chosen to put this inscription on the inside cover and almost entirely forgotten it.

It reminded me that heroes are ordinary people. I have a huge hero complex anyway and I'm trying to shake the need to save the world on my own. Toxic trait.

Over the last few days I've been reminded of the heroic natures of many ordinary people who just get their s**t done everyday whilst facing obstacles I couldn't contend with.

Then today, I sadly learnt, was the funeral of a man who had done my job before the school I work at even existed. Whilst I never met him I do feel as if I know something of the challenges he would have faced in his work and I'm aware that I'm standing on the shoulders of giants to reach the heights we're reaching now. I also feel as if the PE family is a little different to all other subjects and we feel our connections to our predecessors and pioneers more keenly.

Thanks heroes.

Boom! What a day! Finally back in the same bed I started the day in! I wanted somewhere nice to write my journals, Cornwall is nice, so I went there! It's not what normal people do, but that's why they're normal! Breathed in the sea air, walked along the cliffs, wrote my journals, read my new comic (becuase I'm 42) and dropped in on some dear, sweet friends for a cuppa!

I can't really explain it but I had a craving to connect with the elements a bit, feel some wind and some sun and some sea.

Of course I made sure that my mum was spending the day with her 2nd favourite child (sorry, not sorry ) , and my kids' mum was suitably furnished with breakfast, flowers and presents then took the day for myself.

Took a different route home and a passed a roundabout that jogged a memory. Reminded me not to water dead fruit!