The Fit Pregnant Chick

My mum passed away 3 months ago and some days I don’t even have time to think about it with having a baby to look after. I can nearly pretend it hasn’t happened.

Since he’s started with a childminder, I’ve finally had space to feel, and my goodness, I just miss my mum.

That childlike want for your mum, even as an adult, is just so strong. 💔❤️

If like me, you are a motherless mother, is a great charity for support.

Sending you so much love and solidarity xx

I never imagined I would become a motherless mother at 38 and with a 6 month old son. This is a term that I saw a week after my mum passed away on socials which felt like a safe space that gave words to how I was feeling.

This week is maternal mental health week and I want to share with those mums who have struggled and especially if you are a motherless mothers like me.

My mum told us she was getting checked for cancer at the same time I told her I was pregnant. It definitely wasn’t the pregnancy announcement I envisioned.

The start of my pregnancy was filled with A&E and hospital visits while doctors tried to get a grip on her illness. To then some successful chemo that gave hope of more time despite the late stage that the cancer had been found.

I really struggled with the jarring reality of the start of my baby’s life while my mum’s seemed to be ending. It was heartbreaking. I also worried that the stress would be effecting my growing baby.

The first trimester hit me hard like I think it does most first time mums. The birth, recovery, sleep deprivation, identity loss, self-doubt, body changes, the list is endless. On top of that, I had the fear of losing my mum.

I have now precious memories of my mum stepping in to mind my son twice week when she saw me struggle. To let me sleep, wash my hair or just get out of the house. That unconditional love and support that I so deeply miss now.

I am so thankful that my mum had 6 months as a granny and she focused heavily on the gift of time. But deep gratitude sits beside deep grief of the time they won’t have and the memories I so wish she was going to be part of.

1 in 3 new mums are motherless mothers and 5 times more likely to experience postnatal depression. It’s really hard. You might not be a motherless mother from death, it could be estrangement or many other reasons.

You are not alone and I would love to signpost you to if you need more support. They are a growing charity hoping to support mums who are struggling without their own mum.

I’m also only ever a DM away.

Laura xx

I gave my voice to this investigation into the baby sleep industry after receiving dangerous advice from one of the featured accounts, TBBE.

At one of my lowest postpartum points I had purchased her webinar on the first trimester and listened with alarm bells as she gave breast feeding advice that would’ve tanked my milk supply, including sweeping generalisations about boys being greedy and crap at routines which led me to tell my partner that I need to feed my baby less.

Thankfully, that same day I had seen call her advice out to validate my concerns and I also had consumed enough of Olivia’s work to know that the breastfeeding advice was the opposite of NHS guidelines.

The baby sleep industry needs to be regulated. I now see how many courses I purchased in my first trimester to “fix” my baby with the fears that I was doing something wrong, when in fact it was accounts pathologizing normal baby behaviour.

Thank you to and her team for the investigation and fighting the good fight to protect us mums.

Copy this link to read the article -

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ce84e1vn1l2o

April 🌸🌷 The lows of burying my mum’s ashes with the highs of being back to work with a baby in tow.

Finding my feet with the juggle of work and motherhood. The days are non-stop, especially with the never ending weaning clean ups lol while loving the sweet slowness of playing on the swings or in the garden.

Grief escapes me on a Sunday when I get a chance to slow down a little. Life is just a mixture of great gratitude & sadness mixed into one. I’ve passed my reformer course, I’m starting to build a career again, the sun is shining but I miss my mum.

I hope you had an April that was kind to you xx

The Working Mum struggle - Returning to work after having a baby

I’m 8 months postpartum and am returning to work. When I say returning to work, I don’t even know exactly what that it is as I’m starting my fitness career from scratch.

Part of me is ready to feel more “like myself” again, doing what I love and getting time to myself, albeit working lol

Being completely honest, my maternity leave payments have also stopped, so financially I now need to start working again. While I am ready, I am still grieving my mum who passed away 6 weeks ago. So emotionally it can be hard.

It is SO different working with a baby. The juggle is REAL! I can’t just say an immediate yes to work or courses anymore. If the baby can’t be taken care of, I can’t do it. It’s hard for it not to feel like a limit on your career as an ambitious woman.

But, it’s not a bad thing either…

It’s making me be more deliberate about my career. Rates of pay, distance and the need for childcare all need to be weighed up and ultimately if it’s worth the time cost of being away from my baby.

I now don’t have the support of regular childcare, of which my mum had been so willingly providing. I’m currently working early mornings, evenings and weekends when my partner can care for the baby. Right now, it’s needs must.

I’m hoping to get a childminder which I feel both positive and overwhelmed about. I recognise the need I have for it, while feeling guilty of the time apart and nervous about someone else caring for him.

The deeper I get into motherhood, the more I admire the mums around me and the load I had no idea they were carrying. What did you struggle with the most returning to work after having a baby? And how did you handle it?

I’d love to share with other mums ❤️