17/04/2026
20 months of breastfeedingā¦ and today this chapter closed for me and my girl š¤
River never had formula or bottles, every single feed was me. When I was pregnant and people asked if Iād breastfeed, I always said Iād love to try, but I wonāt put pressure on myself if I canāt. I never knew my body and heart would carry me this far.
River latched straight away, but wowā¦ breastfeeding has been one of the hardest things Iāve ever done. The pain, the tears, the cracks, the teeth šµāš« the constant adjusting of her latch, the exhaustion that felt never-ending. The nights felt long, the days felt blurry, and sleep deprivation nearly finished me off š
Thank goodness for silver cups and my amazing sister-in-lawās advice.
Up until a few months ago, River was still feeding to sleep for nights and naps. Slowly, gently, we reduced feeds until we were down to just one a day. A week ago I had a moment and thoughtā¦ Iām ready now.
I once hoped I might make it to 6 months. Then 12. Then 18. And suddenly we reached 20 months š¤
Since finding out I was pregnant in Dec 2023, I havenāt had a single drink, so I think a Baileys at Christmas might be waiting for me (although Iāll probably be drunk after one sip now š)
I am so proud of myself for not giving up. For being resilient. For giving my girl the very best start I could. However you feed your baby, breast, bottle, or bothā¦ parents are incredible. We give so much of ourselves to these tiny humansā¦ and somehow weād do it all over again in a heartbeat.
Iām not sad this chapter has ended. I feel proud and ready to feel fully like me again (because the hormones when you stop are honestly wild š
)
And to any mamas breastfeeding and feeling like youāve lost yourself, you can still move your body, train, get strong, and find pieces of yourself again. Iāve lived it. And now Iām excited for the next chapter š¤āØ
