Yvvy Chideya Coaching

• • | do you ever stop yourself from feeling bad because you think, ‘someone else has it worse than me?’

i didn’t realise i did this until i heard brené brown talking about something called ‘comparative suffering’ a few years ago. it’s when we downplay our own struggles because we think they’re not as important compared to someone else’s. but it’s a trap that keeps us from honouring our own emotions. what i’ve learned is that this mindset doesn’t serve anyone—it only stops us from acknowledging our feelings.

the truth is, just because someone else is going through something difficult doesn’t make my own pain any less valid. it’s not a competition. how i feel matters, and i need to give myself permission to feel it, even on days when it feels hard to justify.

it doesn’t make me less grateful or less strong. my experiences matter, and how i feel deserves to be acknowledged. healing starts when i give myself permission to feel, without guilt or comparison.

it’s something i’m conscious of because it still trips me up. i find myself thinking, ‘why am i feeling bad? i have so much to be grateful for.’ but i’m learning that gratitude and difficult emotions can coexist. it’s okay to have both. and it’s okay to feel what i’m feeling.

this is the medicine i needed today, and if today is a rough one, give yourself grace. your emotions are valid, just as they are. 💛

L I F E L E S S O N S: the most valuable lesson i've learned? people will treat you exactly the way you allow them to.

this realisation hit me hard. for so long, i found myself asking to be treated better in certain relationships. but it was like trying to squeeze water from a stone.

then, i started asking myself a powerful question: "if this was your sister, what would you tell her?"
the answer was immediate and crystal clear: "walk away. you deserve more."

it was a turning point. i realised i couldn't beg someone to value me. i had to set my own standards and choose to surround myself with people who naturally met them.

this isn't about blaming others. it's about self-respect. it's about recognising your worth and refusing to settle for less.

if you're feeling undervalued or disrespected, remember this: you have the power to choose who you allow into your life.

let go of relationships that drain you and make space for those that uplift and empower you. you deserve to be celebrated, not just tolerated.
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| as a master’s programme psychology student and coach of 8 years, i see firsthand the transformative power of creating safe spaces for men to express themselves authentically.

we all know the damaging stereotype: men can’t be “weak.” this silence surrounding struggles leads to immense pain.

but here’s the truth: strength lies in vulnerability. men who embrace their humanity and seek help thrive.

the world needs to support and encourage men to open up and seek professional help when needed. let’s be a part of the solution.

this June, let’s champion men’s mental health:

it’s okay to cry.
it’s okay to ask for help.
it’s okay to feel lost.
it’s okay to be human.

men, you are not alone. let’s break the stigma and build a world where seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

looking for resources on uk-based men’s mental health? as well as accessing your GP, here are a few great starting points:

nhs website: the NHS website provides a wealth of information on mental health conditions, treatments, and how to get help: https://www.england.nhs.uk/mental-health/

nhs 111: this is the non-emergency NHS helpline, available 24/7 by dialing 111. they can offer advice and direct you to the appropriate mental health services.

talking therapies: the NHS offers talking therapies, such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and counselling, for a range of mental health conditions. you can talk to your GP or refer yourself directly to a talking therapies service.

community mental health teams (CMHTs): these teams provide specialist mental health care for people with more complex needs. you will usually be referred to a CMHT by your GP.

additional resources:
mind - the mental health charity: https://www.mind.org.uk/ - offers information and support for a variety of mental health conditions.

the samaritans: https://www.samaritans.org/ - provides confidential emotional support for people in distress, 24/7.

Samaritans - Here to listen Samaritans works to make sure there’s always someone there for anyone who needs someone. Read more.

|this week, “loving myself enough to...” has felt like a distant dream. the funk is real, friends, and it can be so hard to see the light.

but here’s the thing: self-love isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. it’s about showing up for yourself, even when you feel low.

maybe today, self-love is allowing myself to rest. or forgiving myself for feeling down. every small step is a step in the right direction.

what does self-love look like for YOU today?

| 24 hours in New York : chasing sunsets, food, coffee w/ amazing friends, birthday brunch w/ my cousin

| had the best weekend w/ mum in Spain.