Brislington Badgers

⚫️⚪️NEWS⚪️⚫️

The Brislington Badger Open Championship has been announced for Friday 20th of June 2025 at Chippenham Golf Club, Wiltshire.

All club members, past, present and anyone associated with the club is welcome to attend.
Please contact anyone within the club if you wish to play.

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⚫️⚪️League Match Result/Report⚪️⚫️

Knowle CC 6-2 Brislington Badgers

GK Goals Millard
Rory/CraigKnight/Vag/KerryDite
Ji Sung/Norris/Chafe/Sheps
JoshKnight/JackElston

Devon Graydon
Mute
Andrew Jones

A windy and wet day in Knowle in the shadow of local shopping centre Broadwalk. Devon Graydon is appointed caretaker manager in the absence of manager The Boontown Rat.
The Badgers playing into the wind, enjoyed a quite a lot of possession but could not find the back of the net. The Badgers conceded 4 poor first half goals, two deflected shots, a cross which flew high in the wind and looped into the corner of the net, and a strike from 12 yards out that Badger keeper Goals Millard could only get finger tips to.
Caretaker manager Devon Graydon missed a penalty, which was struck low and straight into the keeper.
Ji Sung Grimes pulled his Aldi value hamstring and had to go off after around 30 mins.
The Badgers pretty much dominated the second half, and got two goals back courtesy of a Josh Knight penalty and a good finish into the far corner by Jack Elston. Knowle defended well frustrating the Badger attack. Badgers conceded two more goals through Knowle CC counter attacks late on.

Badger of the match 🦡- Rory Mills - A decent shift at right back.

Donkey of the match -Swagger🫏- Arranging child’s party on the day of a Badger match, making some Badgers unavailable, resulting in team preparation chaos.

https://x.com/NorwichCityFC/status/1711630140227064183?s=20

Norwich City FC on X 𝗔𝘁 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀, 𝗶𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗲 𝗼𝗯𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗴𝗴𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗽𝗲, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝘀 .....

⚫️⚪️League Match Result⚪️⚫️

Brislington Badgers 0-3 Vasco South Glos

A feisty match ends in the first defeat of the season for the Badgers.

A depleted Badger line up with a bare 11 available, meaning Badger manager The Boontown Rat kitting up for the first time in two years since his achilles injury to be the only substitute.

Goals
Dite, Filer, Vag Joner.
Dicko, Wing, Chafe, Dusty, Kermit.
Smithy

Rat

The Badgers made their way into the Badger Sett to see the oppostion already warming up, complete with club warm up T-shirts and an array of cones, someone also seen an opposition player enter the changing room wearing Beats By Dre headphones with motivational music. While the Badgers grouped round and had a bit of banter before smashing balls at Goals Millard.

The match started and the Badgers conceded in the first 30 seconds of the match, without touching the ball, after a cross was put into the box which found an unmarked oppostion forward who managed to help the ball towards the six yard line to another unmarked forward who scuffed the ball enough for it to roll across the line. Badgers looking around confused. 0-1.

The Badgers lacked legs in the final third and struggled to create chances, and found themselves two goals down when a corner was swung in and an opposition midfielder, the smallest player on the pitch headed towards the far corner and into the net, with Badger manager The Boontown Rat insisting Kerry Dite should of cleared the ball off the line.

The match turned sour after a reckless tackle from the very small and angry oppostion player in their midfield on Chafe Roberts, which excited a few players on both teams into a brief verbal melee, with an oppostion supporter who resembled Harold Shipman shouting incomprehensible words on the line. This incident set the tone for the rest of the match.

The second half was a competitive and tight affair, with the Badgers again unable to create any meaningful chances.
Some heavy tackles from both teams were going in, with the referee giving both teams a warning.

Wingnut won a free kick in a dangerous position around 25 yards out, but his feeble effort trickled into the hands of the oppostion goalkeeper.
A few moments later Kerry Dite floated a free kick into the box towards Vag Oppery, but Vag downward header went inches wide of the post.

The oppostion had various good chances through the second half, but poor finishing and a couple of saves from Goals Millard kept them at bay.

The Badgers won another free kick in a promising position around 25 yards out, which Badger left back Kerry Dite demanded to take, but his left footed effort curled high and wide and into the bushes of the Old Reds field behind the goal, to cues of laughter from fellow Badgers.

An oppostion forward chased down a bouncing ball one v one with Goals Millard, but Goals was able to get to the ball first with the player bouncing off Goals and onto the floor, with oppostion management trying to claim a penalty. A brief pause in play while the player was checked for head injury.

Wingnut was played through and managed to get goal side of a large cart horse of a central defender, who then grabbed hold of Wingnuts shirt preventing him from running through on goal and attempting a shot. The referee blew the whistle, and in the Corinthian spirit the cart horse was subsequently substituted and replaced instead of being sent off.

The Boontown Rat made his way onto the pitch for the final ten minutes, replacing his brother Sam. The Rat received a rousing reception from Badger players and one fan in the Rob Phillips Terrace, Richard Pub Snacks Lucas. Cries of “Dalglish” and “Go on Rat” echoed throughout the Badger Sett.

The oppostion extended their lead towards the end of the match when they found space down the left side, a cross was put into the box to the far post and the ball was struck into the net by an unmarked forward. 0-3.

Badger of the match 🦡 - Vag - His usual consistent combative defensive display in central defence.

Donkey of the match 🫏- Andrew - Broken finger but could play golf.

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⚫️⚪️League Match⚪️⚫️

Brislington Badgers V Vasco Da South Glos

▪️Sunday 8th Oct
▫️Brislington School
▪️10:30 KO

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An elite fine dining club frequented by Badgers who prioritise Sunday Lunch instead of Sunday League.

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⚫️⚪️League Match Report⚪️⚫️

Corinthians League Div 2
Sunday 24 Sept 2023
Brislington School

Brislington Badgers 5-3 Fry Club

The Badgers arrived at the Badger Sett on a grey but dry morning and began to file into the changing room. Goals Millard was eager to show off the new Bluetooth speakers purchased for changing room entertainment as various hard house tunes with pulsating bass shook the changing room.

Manager The Boontown Rat and assistant Michael Short had a plethora of Badgers to select from with a healthy squad of 16 and announced the line up.

GK Phil
RB Goals Millard, CB pair of Swagger and Vag, LB Kerry Dite.
RM Ross Grimes, CM trio of Wing, Chafe and Sam Smith, LM Matt Dicko.
CF Michael Whittington.

Joner, C Powski, Dusty, Fireman Rory and Mute Henley.

This week’s absentees included Craig Scamp Reid who is unavailable as he is going for Sunday dinner, becoming the latest Badger to join the elite .

The Rob Phillips Terrace is erected, despite the absence of The Grand Nagus.

The Badgers warm up by blasting balls at GK Phil. Money Whittington is seen mooching around telling Badgers that he has a ‘bad feeling’ about the match, but particularly fears himself getting injured. An ominous premonition as a crow lands on the side of the cage and squawks in Money Whittingtons direction.

An action packed first half started and both teams looked rather fragile. The Badgers back line was tested early on, Goals Millard with his first start since a back injury towards the end of last season struggled to settle into his new defensive role at right back, and sloth paced Swagger Hopkins was being tested by a quick footed Frys forward. The consistent Mighty Vaginal Stuart Oppery seemed in good form with using his strength to win possession from Frys forwards and Kerry Dite who was awarded a start by manager The Boontown Rat started the game well and carefully distributed the ball down the left side.

In usual Badger style, a lapse in concentration and general competence resulted in Frys taking the lead on 6 minutes when careless defending meant a Frys forward found acres of space and had time to shoot, hit the post, collect the ball again and slot the ball into the far corner with no Badgers within a 5 metre radius. 0-1.

The Badgers equalised shortly after when Money Whittington went through one on one with the Frys keeper and slotted the ball past the near post. 1-1.

A few moment later Frys retook the lead, can’t remember how.

The Badgers equalised again when a Matt Dickinson cross went over the Frys defence and was met by Money Whittington whose initial effort hit the post but was surprisingly quick to react to the rebound and tap into the empty net. 2-2.

Ji Sung Grimes enjoys some possession on the right hand side and makes a run, he cut onto his left foot inside the box and had time to fire a shot past the Frys keeper at the near post to make it 3-2 to the Badgers.

The ball is played forward to Money Whittington, who outmuscles a large Frys centre half, Money is through on goal with only the onrushing keeper to beat, Money lifts the ball from 15 yards out over the keeper and it drops into the net to the delight of Money Whittington and Badger fans. A goal of the season contender. 4-2.

A Frys forward is hacked down on the edge of the box, the resulting free kick is struck well and Badger keeper Phil can only get a finger to the ball on its way into the top corner. 4-3.

Shortly before half time, Money Whittington outstretches for a loose ball on the edge of the Frys box and goes down into a heap on the floor and claims he has pulled his hamstring. A limping Money is assisted off the pitch by manager The Boontown Rat and is placed on the Rob Phillips Terrace and excitedly asks nearby Badgers ‘did you see my lob?’ Money was replaced by Chris Powski Powell.

Half time and four substitutions are made by manager The Boontown Rat who is chasing his second successive league victory.
Rory on at RB, Mute at LB, Joner LM and Dusty in at CM.

The second half was a tighter affair with few chances for either side. The first real chance fell to Matt Dicko who found himself all alone in the Frys box with only the keeper to beat, his wild sliced right footed shot from around 15 yards flew high and wide of the right post to cues of “hee haw” from the Rob Phillips terrace.

Chris Powski was hacked down in the box by a cumbersome Frys defender with a heavy tackle, but the referee let play continue to the fury of Badger management and Badger Ultras in the Rob Phillips Terrace who demanded a penalty! Trouble flares in the stands as a Badger Ultra lifts the temporary stand over his head and launches it onto the pitch, but stewards and riot police manage to swiftly calm the situation.

Matt Dickinson redeems himself from his earlier missed chance when he flies down the left wing and sees Chris Powski making a run into the box, Dicko’s well placed low cross is met by Powski who slots the ball into the net first time to make it 5-3 Badgers.

Both teams continued to battle until the end but couldn’t fashion anymore clear chances. The referee brought the game to an end and Badgers celebrate two wins on the trot at The Badger Sett.

BOTM 🦡- Money Whittington - a good hat trick despite going off injured.
DOTM 🫏- Craig Reid - The latest member of The Gravy Club, despite watching 90 minutes of the match…

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⚫️⚪️League Match Result⚪️⚫️
Sunday 24th Sept 2023

Brislington Badgers 5-3 Fry Club Vets

Whittington x 3
Ji Sung Grimes
Powski

Botm 🦡 - Whitz
Dotm 🫏 - Reidy

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⚫️⚪️League Match⚪️⚫️

Brislington Badgers V Fry Club Vets

Brislington School
Sun 24 Sept
10:30 KO

content creators welcome

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