Human 2 Human Thinking

Is your work/life aligned?

Or does your day look something like this:

⏰ Start work early so you can take a break from work an hour later to get pre-teen ready for sports camp
🚆 Get summonsed to do a run to the station as your other half realises the train they were due to catch is leaving earlier than they thought
📵 Return to find your child is only half dressed (pre-teen’s phone had hijacked his attention, leaving 2 minutes to finish getting dressed before pick-up arrives).
💻 Knuckle down to some work, which might involve fleshing out campaign content before some time away from the office
🚗 Realise it’s time to pick up child/ren, which turns into picking up and feeding 3x pre-teen boys (noise level in car: HIGH)
💻Resume work
🍎 Deal with frequent questions and requests for food
🧺Realize there is no food = swift visit to shop
💻 Back to work
🍕Realise I have an hour to deliver tea and make sure 3 boys plus me are ready for the theatre
🎭 Slump in chair at theatre…

Some days work and life do not align, and you find yourself asking whether it really is possible to hold down a responsible job and stay sane at the same time.

Yes, I found myself being a bit grumpy come 11pm after everyone had been dropped off and the washing machine, which was still reminding me that it needed emptying, was finally emptied.

However, I reminded myself that this is not the norm. I changed the shape of my career to make sure of that - so that I don’t spend my life dreading the day ahead.

If you feel like your work- life is permanently out of kilter, then it may help to find out what is de-energising you. Once you understand this, then you can start to work on these areas and create some space in your life.

Download my free resource that will help you start to discover what’s behind your highs and lows: Freebies | Human2human Thinking | Cambridge (h2hthinking.co.uk)

I read a post on Linked In, written by a lady in her 50s informing her connections that she had just received the dreaded phone call. The one telling her she has just been laid off (along with others). She went on to acknowledge how much more difficult it is to find another job at her age.

Apparently the over 50s are the worst-hit age group when it comes to unemployment.

The CIPD reports that their experience enables better customer service, enhanced knowledge retention and can help address talent and skills shortages.

So why is the 50+ professional feeling nervous about their ability to find a job they are suited to? One where they can use their skills, knowledge and talent.

You want more. But not more of the same.

You have oodles of experience, but your needs and / or ambitions have changed.

Maybe you want one last big promotion (think Liz Truss). Or is it time to take more of a risk, like go out on your own (I know, scary, eh). Perhaps you just want to do more of what really floats your boat (more innovation, less process) or it could be that you want more work/life alignment.

Whatever it is you want more of, what’s stopping you?

I knew that something had to change for me as I was feeling increasingly restless; there were other avenues I wanted to explore, and I didn’t want to hear myself say ‘I wish I had…’ years later.

So, what did I want more of? Freedom and learning opportunities (important values of mine). Freedom to play around with my skills and interests to see how else I could use and develop them and to understand what truly energises me.

What did it involve? Well, it started with me having some honest, brave conversations with myself (what did I really want and need); my family (I needed their support); and then finally, my line manager (whose support I wanted).

What do you want more of:
• Time?
• Calm?
• A sense of direction?
• Courage?
• All of the above?!

When we feel like we’re lacking in any of the above, we can feel overwhelmed and stuck. This can demobilise us which, as you know, feels utterly crap. I’ve therefore created a free lunch and learn event to help you feel more energised👇

🌟Free Event: Unstuck. Creating the work-life you want.

On the 28 September, I will be holding free 60 minute session that will help you to evaluate your work-life and move forward in the direction you want, helping you to achieve your aspirations.
In this session we will look at:

Barriers: What’s preventing you from making changes and moving forward

Decision making: Taking the stress out of it

Moving forward: What will you prioritise

When: Weds, 28 Sept
Time: 12:00
Where: Online
To Book: Follow this Eventbrite link:
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/unstuck-making-your-job-and-life-feel-good-tickets-398311519477

🙋 Do you feel seen?

Since becoming a coach, I’ve had women who've got great careers tell me that they ‘don’t feel seen anymore’. One client explained how when she attended a client meeting with a colleague, she ‘felt invisible’ because most of the conversation was directed at her younger counterpart.

It made her wonder if it was time for her to bow out of the game.

This makes me feel sad. Sad that successful, experienced women are questioning whether they have a place at the table anymore.

I’m sure that this isn’t something just women experience, but when I’ve coached men of the same age, this has never been raised as an issue.

🤔Maybe it’s not as common as I fear. I hope not.

Have you ever felt invisible and if so, what did you do?

Please share…

Ok, so it’s my birthday this month and now that I’m the other side of 40 (well and truly), my birthdays don’t just bring about questions such as what kind of cake I’d like, where to go for dinner and whether it’s time to embrace my grey. They also include something much more challenging: am I getting what I want out of life? Stress is unavoidable and necessary – it helps us to question, evaluate and make good decisions, but it needs to be manageable.

I, like many, have an increasing number of responsibilities (pre-teen, ageing parents; ageing husband 😉). I am ambitious (but not in the way I was in my 20s and 30s). I like to try new things and it’s important that I have freedom and autonomy in my life. And so last year I made a big decision and became, what is termed, a multi-hyphenate; someone who has a side hustle; a slashie (this term brings up far too many interpretations to me, including one that involves your bladder).

I am so grateful to my employer who, when I asked to reduce my hours to explore different things, was more than happy to work with me on this. Thank you for recognising the value of my work in this way 💖

Where am I going with this? Well, I reached a point in my life where I knew I wanted to change how my work-life felt. I wanted to align the two and so started by exploring what is important to me, to work out what my boundaries / non-negotiables are (and be confident enough to assert them) and turn procrastination into action.

And no, it’s not perfect. It’s still very much work in progress. I am learning to assert my boundaries (including refraining from feeling the need to post on here when I’m feeling overwhelmed). I have my own coach to keep me in check, to make sure I’m noticing when I’m feeling overstretched, that I’m living in line with what’s important to me and I don’t resort to taking the easy road (hello comfort zone) when what I need for fulfilment is to go off-piste to find the real joy I’m looking for.

If this sounds like something you would like to explore, why not drop me a line for a free 30-minute chat when you can tell me all about what is creating an imbalance in your life and what good would look like to you.

As we're gearing up for the summer holidays (projects to finish or hand over, kids to entertain, suitcases to pack), remember this 👇

It’s 0830 and your first meeting is scheduled at 0900 and yet you’re still clearing up the remnants of toast your pr***en has left behind, have not done anything with your hair since getting up (only to be reminded when the Teams camera switches on at 0900) and have not prepped for the meeting… let me see if it’s one I can wing).

And then at 1030 you feel like you’ve done a day’s work already. 😩

You then start to think how you would like to:

a) Feel happier about your job?
b) Be a more engaged leader?
c) Be a better listener at home?
d) Be more patient / roll your eyes less (albeit secretly) at the things you think others should understand
e) Do more of the hobbies you love?
f) Try something new?

Maybe you have other things on your list that you may like to share below.

What can you do about your situation?

It’s helpful to start by working out what in your life is energising you and what’s not. To help you discover this, I ‘ve created an energy journal for you to download (it only requires 5-10 minutes to complete), which will help you to understand the things you enjoy and the things you don’t – you can then start to work out how you can recharge your work-life.

Download your free journal here: https://lnkd.in/eze8tBMp

For best results, I recommend you do it at least 3 days a week over three-week period.

💡Enjoy learning about what lights you up and the start of your journey towards a more fulfilling work-life.

Who here has suffered from Analysis Paralysis? 🙋

Many people suffer from this when there's a big decision to be made. You're nervous so you research your heart out. You then have too much information. Too many options. Too many ifs and buts.

The result: STRESS. It's too bloody hard to see the wood through the trees. And so you don't take action and nothing changes. But then what happens? You remain unsettled. You continue to crave change and your happiness gauge is veering towards red.

Here’s three tips that will help you move forward:

1) Try to understand what's stopping you from making a decision
2) Share your thinking with someone in your network who will listen and give you some perspective
3) Think about what life would look like if you took action

For the record, it took me over a month to press publish on my first Linked In post. Why? Fear of being judged.

Share below what prevents you from making decisions and taking action?

How many of you are thinking TFI Friday?

You've had a busy week, I'm sure - campaign planning / delivery, copy to write, project plans to review. But amid the work, have you taken some time out for yourself?

We cannot eradicate stress, but we can control how we respond to it. And so my question to you is, what have you done this week to help manage your stress levels?

Did you know that a walk 2 hours after you wake will help improve your sleep as well as your mood. If you want to learn more about this, you may want to listen to this 15 minute podcast from Michael Mosely: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m000v3fz

The weather forecast looks good for the weekend, so get up and give it a try.

Have a great weekend all.

Just One Thing - with Michael Mosley - Early Morning Walk - BBC Sounds Why striding out first thing could improve your sleep, your mood and your heart

Do you feel like life is spiraling out of control?

If you’re anything like I used to be, you feel like it’s on you to find solutions for every problem that’s put in front of you. You take them on, and set out to fix them, because that’s what you’re good at (and that’s why people land them at your feet).

There came a day when I was trying to fix too many problems (at my own expense) and remember being shown kindness and concern from a colleague. She asked me one simple, but brilliant, question. That question was: ‘Is it your responsibility?’

I immediately answered by telling her exactly why it was my responsibility. In summary, I believed things would fall apart for the people concerned if I didn’t find a solution. She then asked me the same question again, this time getting me to really think about the impact of my beliefs.

I can honestly say that that conversation transformed things for me. Now, when I feel the need to mediate or find a solution, to prevent others from feeling hurt or stressed, I ask myself that brilliant question. I realise that there’s a better way to support others, and that’s by helping them find their own solution. They feel empowered and me, I have a lot less on my plate.

Try it and let me know how you get on.

If would like to learn how to support others without it draining you of your energy reserves, drop me a line.

Is your mind at a roadblock? 🚧

What difference would it make to your day if you had more clarity?

For example, once you’ve decided, that you’re going to go and talk about project outcomes instead of worrying about funding for a project that’s yet to be scoped, or you’re going to finish the design brief instead of worrying about who to feature in your collateral, you have more space in your head to concentrate on the things that matter.

Once we know what we’re going to focus on, our mind becomes free, more creative and we feel productive and satisfied. Goodbye overwhelm👋

For me, the real benefit of finding clarity means that I can happily draw a line under the day and spend my evening or day off doing the things that help restore my energy levels, like reading, cooking or running.

What would you be able to do more of if you had more clarity? 🤸‍♀️

If you’re a senior leader of small to medium size charity and are fed up of feeling overwhelmed, you may like to join my pilot programme: Transform Programme: a supportive, inspiring space to share, learn and re-charge (h2hthinking.co.uk) starting 22 June. With only 2 places left, be sure to click on the link to book your place.

Have a good weekend.

How clear is your thinking?

Monday mornings can be tough. Maybe you logged on to a list of things you didn’t get finished last week? And then looked at what you want to achieve this week: the project plans that need to be updated, the new ones that need to be created, the new ideas that need to be generated, the old ones that feel tired and need to be reviewed?

The question you may be asking yourself is how do I retain a sense of calm and positivity when I've got so much to do?

You might find real benefit in starting your day by setting a daily intention. Ask yourself, what could you do to change the way you experience your day? It could be as simple as reflecting on what you’ve achieved so far, each time you make a cuppa?

Why not comment below and share your intention for the rest of the day?