Alex Collis Celebrant

I want to talk about death work and self care, and how we need to make time to rest and recover.

It’s one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned over seven years of being a celebrant. Two very simple words.

Rest matters.

Rest and practicing self care are radical acts in a capitalist society like ours, where our worth is so often judged by how busy we are.

Doing this work is the biggest privilege, but at the same time, holding space for bereavement and all the emotions that come with it can take its toll.

Our bodies know. They tell us all the time when we need to rest, but we don’t always feel free to listen. That needs to change.

An important reminder for

I’ve always tried to do one of three things after each funeral that I lead.

🌿 Spend some time outside, often just being still. No phone, no distractions. It’s the best medicine.

🧵 Half an hour of stitching. Doing something creative, using my hands to make something… that taps into the part of my brain that helps me switch off.

🐾 Spending time stroking my small army of guinea pigs, and listening to them chatter away to each other. It never fails to calm me.

What’s your favourite way to rest and recover?

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I’m Alex, a Cambridge based creative death worker and funeral celebrant, and I help people plan down to earth, authentic and colourful goodbyes. Follow along for more ideas and inspiration 🧡🌈

“I like you, you’re not AI. That’s exactly what we want for mum. We want it to be real”.

I’d packed up my bag and was standing on the doorstep, getting ready to shake hands and say my goodbyes. And then R’s son said this to me.

I thought about it all the way home on the bus.

Like lots of celebrants and death care workers, I’ve noticed elements of AI creeping into the way we say goodbye. Asking ChatGPT to write a funeral poem. Enhancing photos to bring people back to life.

I’m not criticising anyone’s choices, but for me there are a few things that AI can’t do when it comes to funerals.

It can’t bring…

Deep, active listening. The most important skill we need as celebrants.

Creative storytelling.

Holding space for grief.

Human connection. AI just can’t replace what’s right at the heart of this work that we do. We keep it real.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on AI and its place in funerals (or weddings too, for that matter!)

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I’m Alex and I’m a down to earth, Cambridge based death worker and funeral celebrant. I help people create their ideal way to say goodbye. Follow along for more ideas and inspiration 🧡🌈

More and more people are deciding that they don’t want a funeral at all, and - for some - that can absolutely be the right decision.

It’s not always that simple though. So, what do people really mean when they say that?

“I don’t want a fuss”

So often we have in our heads a picture of what a funeral should be like - because that’s how things have always been done. But a funeral can be whatever you need it to be and some of the most beautiful, meaningful and moving funerals I’ve been involved in have been the simplest - and the smallest.

“I don’t want to burden my family”

Again, completely understandable. Planning a funeral when you’re in the early stages of grieving can be so tough. All of a sudden you’re being asked to make decisions that you have no idea how to make. That’s exactly why writing down your funeral wishes is so important. It takes away a lot of that stress, and can be a gift to the people you love. Let them know what you want.

“I don’t want a traditional ceremony”

There’s absolutely no right or wrong way to arrange a funeral. No rules. Nothing that you have to do, or that you’re ‘not allowed’ to do. You can make it entirely personal to you, and include your own traditions - ones that hold meaning for you.

“It’s too expensive”

Funeral costs are rising, there’s no denying it. Cost is probably the biggest reason why so many more people are opting for direct cremations. But there are also ways to create a farewell that’s equally meaningful, just without all the expense. A simple gathering, in an informal or home setting, can be just as - if not more - beautiful. You don’t need all the bells and whistles. Just the love.

“It’s morbid and depressing”

It doesn’t have to be! Funerals can be all about joy and colour and love. They can be uplifting, not a sad, sombre, mournful occasion. And they don’t have to be all about just sitting and listening. They can also be about joining in and taking part, for example by decorating the ceremony space or coffin.

🌻🌻🌻

I’m Alex, a Cambridge based creative death worker and funeral celebrant, and I help people explore what kind of farewell works for them. Follow along for more ideas and inspiration 🧡🌈