Joeseveryday

How do you genuinely make change that lasts?

I’ve been a coach for nearly half a decade now, and in that time I’ve been able to refine my coaching process and my own personal knowledge, to narrow in on what exactly is the most important aspects, traits and variables to change, if you want long lasting success.

The problem with the industry now a days is it’s too surface level. They’re giving you short term solutions to ridiculously long term problems. They’re patching over broken arms with little plasters and sure, in the short term they may, in fact probably will, get you really good results, but I’ve seen it countless times before, you just end up going back to where you were at the start if you don’t look deeper.

The difficult thing about behaviour and lifestyle change is, you actually have to change as a person to achieve success. It’s not just what you do and how you act, it’s who you are, who you surround yourself with and what mantra you have for life.

Now this can be a bitter pill for people to swallow, as that usually means embracing change, heading into the unknown and facing their deepest fears and beliefs they hold about themselves. I’m not going to gloss it up, this is hard. In fact, it’s that hard that most people accept defeat subconsciously and don’t embark, or even invite the idea of physical and mental development (in any area), due to its size. You could even go one step further, with people developing a belief system that alienate people who advocate personal responsibility and change, digging the roots far deeper.

As I say, I hope that doesn’t put you off, but alike to anything thats worth having, it’s not going to be easy to achieve.

The great positive about this though is a) you CAN change, b) when you do change on a deeper level it’s something you won’t be in emotional turmoil with, and have a constant undulating battle around, and c) not only the thing you’re struggling with (for most its weight, eating patterns, activity levels etc - the surface level stuff) will change, your whole LIFE will change off the back of it.

And I don’t mean that lightly…

Dig deeper and find the diamonds people 💎

I want you to imagine your favourite hero In your favourite film (mines Lucius Aureleius from gladiator 2) 🗡️

In every movie there is a journey that the hero or main character must go on. They have a call to adventure, with a tendency to refuse and act in denial at first…They then meet a mentor and then cross the threshold into the unknown world (outside their comfort zone). This is where they gain allies, face tests and enemies and experience an ordeal (where a decisive crisis must be made). They slay the dragon (come in different forms) and head home with new insights, perspectives and returns with the elixir, and everyone lives happily ever after (Shrek reference haha).

Now you might think I’m being over the top, but this is you on your journey. Whatever journey that is, fat loss, understanding yourself, overcoming fears, working through trauma, building a legacy, improving your relationships…you are the main character and you will go through each part of this process. To resist a stage and not embrace it, means you will get stuck and revert back to old ways.

This means willingly, and with humility, facing your fears and initially, suffering off the back of it. Sometimes with no direction of what comes next, especially If you haven’t been down this path before (which is what makes it so hard). You will have to embrace tests, hard truths, difficult periods, and challenge from others who don’t understand, to be able to return home with the elixir (your desired result). You can’t have one without the other.

This means that suffering and your ordeal is the price you have to pay for results…the only way is through.

The greater a degree you have to suffer and battle against enemies, tests and encounter challenges, the more enlightened you feel thereafter & the sweeter your result will taste. So a) embrace it & b) if you’re going through it, know that you’re at an essential stage of your journey / process & what’s to come is much better.

Lean into it & be the hero of your own story 🐉

6 years ago my beautiful mum, Carol, passed away due to cancer. It’s a horrible process to watch and be a part of, never mind have and deal with yourself.

Initially she was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer of the liver from a cholesterol check. After some treatment and being given the all clear, the cancer came back as terminal and specs all over her body. We lost her on the 11th of October 2019.

In memory of her, I thought this would be a great opportunity to raise some money for Clatterbridge, the cancer hospital that looked after my mum when she was ill. They were great in supporting my mum and giving her guidance through difficult times. I hope the money I can raise can help someone else’s mum, dad, brother, son, daughter, grandson or friend through their difficult times too.

The challenge:

1100 brave souls head into the Welsh skies of snowdonia to conquer 4 summits, 3300m+ of elevation gain and 56 kilometres of ground. Start time is 7:30am, bright and early from Llanberis, the beating heart of Snowdonia national park. I will be training for the next 4 and 1/2 months in the lead up and doing my best to finish the race. I thought it’d be a great opportunity to use this as not only a personal goal but one that can somehow help others too. This will be my first ever official ultra marathon distance so one I’m nervous, yet so excited for. It’s a big challenge, but one that is insignificant in comparison to those who unfortunately have to deal with and overcome illness’ alike to cancer.

Any donations are greatly appreciated! The link will be in my bio ❤️

I’ve been stuck for words thinking about 2024. Its been the hardest year of life my so far, containing countless lessons, all of which being very hard to swallow. I’ve learnt more about myself this year than I ever have in my whole entire life, and here’s how…

But firstly, you may ask why I’ve wrote this and I’ve been asking myself that too. I’ve also been really apprehensive to even share something so personal as I now don’t feel the need to share things alike to this online anymore, but if I am to grow past it and embody this now as my purpose and responsibility as a coach to help others with it, in some ways, then I guess this is kinda a step towards that. I also think helping others and being a force for good with the things you’ve struggled with in your life is where your power lies. It’s also what you’re most qualified to talk about and help with.

I also wanted to give you a little context before I opened Pandora’s box, at that moment in my life I thought I was doing everything the way I should, I’d recently bought a home, had far surpassed my financial goals, business was the best it’s ever bin, my physique was the best it was…but inside was very different. I was running away from myself and I didn’t even know it.

It sounds kind of crazy, but at one point this year I had an identity crisis and an existential crisis, simultaneously. There were points where I genuinely didn’t know who I was as person, what I stood for and why I was even here, I had to really dig deep to pull through at times. It was scary, confusing, humiliating (especially being a coach) and very eye opening. I realised that the way I was living / being wasn’t conducive to the things that I actually wanted in life, there was a huge misalignment. When I started to peel back the layers it became very apparent that a lot of things needed to change, and unfortunately at the time, but fortunately now, 80% of who I was and what I was doing in the way I was doing it, needed to go. That process within itself was very painful and metaphorically brought me to my knees, words cannot describe how slow and torturous it was (still continuing in some ways). - CONTINUED IN COMMENTS.

Hello I’m Joeseveryday, welcome to my office & please take a seat.

For the past 4 years I’ve worked closely on a 1-1 basis with hundreds of individuals, assessing human behaviour and psychology daily. Thousands of conversations, check ins, questions…Picking up trends, learning how to work with each individual, harvesting techniques that truly work & formulating a process that yields the greatest returns, specific to each individual and their situation.

Simultaneously, I’ve embarked on my own journey of self development. Thousands of hours of reading books, attending lectures, forum & membership sites, mentorship’s, educational courses, journaling, therapy & self examination. This being the most eye opening, yet humiliating & humble process I’ve ever gone on.

Now I’m not the Dalai Lama & this isn’t to blow my own trumpet, but I’ve learnt some valuable lessons about both myself and humans in general, that has changed my perspective on life and the capabilities of each individual.

Our minds work in many wonderful ways. We have conscious and subconscious drivers that push us towards and pull us away from things that we think will give us pleasure, or avoid pain. We have beliefs about ourselves that we don’t even know are there that cause us to be who we are, both good and bad, and we are moulded by our past and current experiences, that in which lay the path and foundations for our future.

Avoidance is a silent killer. Avoiding the truth, what you can see and feel, the hard conversations, the work you need to do on yourself, the self awareness you must develop, the love or care you need to build, or the habits and life you need to forget about to grow (the list could go on).

I mention avoidance specifically, as this is one of the biggest patterns I see with others & my own journey. It’s wild how our judgement and vision can be clouded by what we current know and are driven by, or what we think we deserve.

True change comes from self awareness, humility, changing core beliefs, and facing the problems and issues you have head on, valiantly. Surface level stuff will have you in nasty cycle that will continue for the rest of your life 🔄

Joe

Recreate, rethink & rebuild 🛠️

Life’s a game of snakes and ladders & I hit a snake this year, a big one…🙂 Back to the drawing board would be a generous understatement…

It’s been a huge process of change, one in which continues with its surprises, challenge & countless profound lessons.

Just a little reminder to you that whatever you may be working on or towards right now, the bigger the dragon you have to face, the better the treasure you earn when you slay it. Get up and go again 🐉