JCD Coaching

Ending my first marriage three years today felt like the hardest thing I ever had to do. I spent years avoiding the seemingly inevitable prospect of it. Years of indecision, self-hate, stagnancy, accepting less from myself, and dreaming so, so small.

The time has flown by since. And I can't quite believe just how far I've come, grown and shone. Sitting in this utterly stunning living room, that and I only moved into 8 days ago, is an unimaginable prospect three years ago.

It was unimaginable that I could live in a home so much more beautiful, spacious and full of potential, compared to the ex-marital home I then had to dismantle. I didn't know you could end a marriage and make EVERYTHING so much better, richer, and fuller.

It was unimaginable that everyone could be happier. It was unimaginable that people would still like me. It was unimaginable that I could succeed.

The difference between now and then is that all of this isn't just imaginable, it's my reality, as I sit here this morning.

And here's what I learnt in the process:

When the people around you don't believe in you, you can surround yourself with those that do.

When you don't feel comfortable in your environment, you can change your environment.

When it all feels impossible, like there's no way out, you can always find a way out, just keep stepping forward.

It's never too late to change, but it's always too late to wait.

I've just finished another mammoth weekend on the sports massage game. My body is tired, my heart is full knowing that I gave you my all, but my mind is looping with recurring themes of the stories many of you (particularly women) have shared with me.

Stories of co-parents aggressively refusing to do the bare minimum.

Stories of partners framing your boundaries as harmful after you finally called out their behaviour.

Stories of partners who don't stand up for you when their family are on the rampage.

All weekend I found myself reminding people that emotional boundaries are healthy, projected aggression is not emotional maturity, and that our triggers are ours to understand and manage without weaponising them against others.

My triggers are my responsibility.

Your triggers are your responsibility.

Their triggers are their responsibility.

If you find yourself on the receiving end of emotional projection, neglect of responsibility, or reactive hostility, it isn't your job to fix the person attacking, neglecting or manipulating you, especially when they won't take responsibility themselves.

But you are always allowed to prioritise your peace, protect your space, and safeguard your wellbeing.

I haven't been posting a lot since April. March was my busiest and most profitable month on record, but I've been absolutely exhausted ever since.

Life can be cruel to be kind that way sometimes.

This morning I sat at my favourite spot, connected to the earth and thanked those above for my strength, my wealth, my love and my health.

I haven't said those words for a few months. I haven't felt them, but today I can feel them again.

A well-used quote of mine has been circling my mind for a few days, and that is "the days are long but the years are short".

The years are too short to work such long days.

The years are too short to binge eat to cope with long days

The years are too short to excessively disassociate through long days as a parent.

The years are too short to accept my obesity.

The years are too short to toss it off during my down time.

The years are too short to not go outside today.

The years are too short to not maximise my physical potential today.

The years are too short to not love as hard as I can love, with someone who loves me hard back.

Although the days can feel so long, the years are always too short.

Today is always day 1. Let's make it a long, beautiful and healthy one. Because one day, the years will be gone.

Calisthenics is a word derived and forged from the Ancient Greek words καλὸς and σθένος [kalos sthenos]. In English, it's most literal translation means 'beautiful strength'.

It's not to be confused with, or pronounced, 'callanetics', as I've corrected hundreds of people over the years 😂

My interpretation of the word is everything that you can see in this image. This tucked version of the bent arm handstand is one of my favourite poses to perform out in the wild.

In training, you'll practise this move off the floor, probably with the support of small paralettes (parallel bar handles, sitting a few inches off the floor).

In the wild, I'm always looking for a tree stump, or the edge of a high ledge; somewhere where I can allow my head to fall slightly lower than my hands, to allow for my current strength levels. And ideally, there will be a beautiful scene to use as a backdrop, like Callendar House here.

I've had this move unlocked for the past 5 years or so, but the journey towards it was made up of countless hours and practise with frog stands, crow stands, pike pushups, headstands and handstands against the wall.

Something I also love about calisthenics is that there's no rules as to who can join in. I am 21 stone and pushing 40, and still I can defy gravity better than most people half my age and bodysize.

There's no magic formula to learning any calisthenics movement, but with some guidance and learned experience from others, you can soon know which regressions and exercises to practise, as you work your way up the progressive ladder.

When I first started calisthenics back in 2014, there were very little resources available online or elsewhere. I actually bought a book!

The internet is rife now with calisthenics content, but coaches are few and far between, but I'm one of a few very good ones in Scotland.

If you live anywhere from Airdrie to Alloa to Abercorn, and you'd like to start your calisthenics journey with me, I offer 2 hour introductory sessions. DM, comment, or check the link in my bio to find out more.

𝘐𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘣𝘺

39. Parabéns pra mim.

It's been quite an Easter so far, and as usual, my birthday falls at the end of it.

I find birthdays a bit confusing and emotionally contrasting as I've gotten older, but Maria and her little people have done a very good job of saying happy birthday to me this morning.

I've been showered in gifts, including sausages, cherry pepsi, lip balm, books on Norse mythology and jigsaws.

There's something very, very special about people knowing who you are, and taking the time to choose gifts for you that you'll love.

I have lot of niche hobbies, likes and interests, but this blended family of mine seem to have learnt me pretty quickly. And I'm totes emosh about it.

It's never the cost that sees me smile from ear to ear, but the effort to prepare something, and the time taken to get to know me. Especially in this case when they aren't mine biologically, but they've treated me as if they are.

I don't have my own kiddies with me today, but Adam, Coco and Noah have done a very brilliant job with Mum's help. I feel like a very lucky man, boyfriend, and step-Dad, even if it means I'm nearly 40.

As you'll see across Meta services, AI-generated content and marketing of endless miracle solutions is really spoiling "social media".

I share my written work on Instagram and Facebook, but it isn't always pushed to the top for you to see it.

If you'd like to read, watch and listen to real-human content made by a real-human person, I'd love you to join my Patreon as a free member.

On this page I write and update numerous series related to health-improvement, physical fitness, mental health challenges and spirituality.

All facets of health are covered, by me, a non-AI-generated human, and I'd love to see you there!

https://www.patreon.com/posts/155159252?utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=android_share

In light of Louis Theroux's recent documentary on toxic masculinity, I wanted to re-share an article I wrote the other week. I've made the arcticle publicly available, in case becoming a member of my Patreon is a barrier to you.

In conclusion, I wrote:

"The world doesn’t need less masculinity. It needs men to try and be better men."

I'd love your thoughts on the documentary, and my comments writing on masculinity too.

https://www.patreon.com/posts/152488602?utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=android_share