Nutty Woodbottom the Markeaton parkrun Squirrel

Cough! Cough! Is this thing still on..?
Is anybody going to cut these plants back please? I can’t see a thing…

I just want people to know, that in this strange time of people toppling statues & public effigies, that my past is squeaky clean. Well, I did steal an acorn from Julie Squirrel a few years back, but we’re all cool now...

Sorry, I haven’t posted for a while. I got really bored sitting in Markeaton Park so I’ve been off down to London to pursue my love of acting. Y’know, see if I can’t get my career off the ground. I’ve always loved to act and my turn in ‘Much Ado About Nutting’ a few years ago got wonderful reviews.
It didn’t go so well though. I went to 4 auditions and got laughed out of town for being too wooden.

I am one soggy squirrel.

I am as ready as a wooden squirrel can be. If Derby win then I’m gonna go NUTS.
Which way is Wembley?

This Facebook thing keeps asking me to let people know what I’m doing.
I AM A WOODEN SQUIRREL THAT CAN’T MOVE, WHADDAYA THINK I’M DOING?!?!
I’M SAT IN THE PARK.
LIKE EVERYDAY.
LIKE ALWAYS!!

Sorry...have a nice day...

It’s not everyday you get made into a cake. Bit strange eating my own face, but I sure tasted gooooood...
Thank you Liz for making a wooden squirrel very happy.

It's hard to take a selfie when you've only got little wooden arms that are stuck to your legs. You lot don't know you're born...

Bit wet out here in the park this morning. My wooden bottom is a bit soggy. Here’s a pic of Jeff with his new flower-brolly.
Nobody likes a show-off, Jeffry...

Only been a week and I've been promoted already!!! Life is sweet as a nut...

Just sitting in the park...
Ho hum...
Is it Saturday morning yet?

The other squirrels in the park tend to stay away from me. I think it’s because I’m so massive compared to them. And the whole ‘made of wood’ thing doesn’t help to be honest...