Townhill Bowling Club

Well, well, well... and then there were two.

Townhill Bowling Club invites you all to witness the thrilling conclusion of the

CLUB CHAMPIONSHIP 🏆

Sunday 13th September 2026
1330hrs.

This historic clash of "athletes" features:
Frank Wilding vs Glynn McFadden

Please come along and cheer on two absolute TITANS of the game—at least according to their own minds.......

It promises to be a masterclass in aggressive lawn bowling, intense glaring, and questionable hip flexibility.

May the best man win, or at least the one who doesn't need to do a lap of honour or who needs a mid-match nap.

"Get ready to be mad fer it" Dunfermline!

Join us for an unforgettable night as local youth talent takes the stage to perform all your favourite Oasis classics, guaranteed to have you dancing the night away.

Townhill Bowling Club are delighted to have Ryan Lamie performing at our venue.

Come along to the club on Saturday 3rd April with doors opening from 7:00 PM until late for a massive celebration of the legendary Manchester sound, right here in Dunfermline.

What to Expect
• Live Oasis Anthems: including the massive sing-alongs of "Wonderwall" and "Don't Look Back in Anger.
• "Non-Stop Dancing: Bring your best Liam-style swagger and your bucket hats—we are turning the floor into a bouncing festival crowd.
• Community Spirit: Support incredible young musicians from the local area while enjoying an affordable night out with friends and family.

Event Details
• 📅 Date: Saturday 3rd April 2027
• ⏰ Time: Doors open at 7:00 PM | Music starts at 8.00 PM
• 📍 Venue: Townhill BowlingClub, Green Street, Townhill
• 🎟️ Tickets: £10

Dust off your parkas, round up your mates, and let's make it a night to remember. Tonight, we are all rock 'n' roll stars!

🎉 BINGO DAY IS BACK! 🎉

📍 Townhill Community & Bowling Club
🗓 Sunday 6th September 2026
🚪 Doors Open: 1:15pm
👀 Eyes Down: 2:00pm SHARP!
(Late arrivals will be stared at... and possibly judged.)

🎟 £10 Per Card
💸 Got an extra £2? Have a crack at our Irish Bingo – winner takes the lot!

✨ 9 Games • Plenty of Winners • Even More Questionable Shouts of "BINGO!" ✨

🟡 Games 1–7 • One Line – £5 • Full House – £10
🔵 Flyer Game • One Line – £5 • Two Lines – £10 • Full House – £15
❄️ Snowball Jackpot – Game 8
💥 Full House in 55 numbers or fewer wins the £55 JACKPOT!
💷 Miss the Snowball? Don't panic – there's still a guaranteed £35 waiting for someone.

🍻 The bar will be open... because some bingo decisions are much easier to accept after a pint.

🎤 Expect terrible singing, dramatic celebrations, suspiciously lucky people, and at least one person who'll shout "BINGO!" just as you're one number away.

🖊 Bring your dabbers, your lucky charm, and that auntie who somehow wins every single week despite insisting she's "never lucky."
Come along for an afternoon of laughs, near misses, false alarms, dodgy bingo etiquette, and the annual reminder that two little ducks still causes half the room to quack.

🎉 See you on Sunday – and may the bingo gods be ever in your favour! 🎉

🎉 BINGO DAY IS BACK! 🎉

📍 Townhill Community & Bowling Club
🗓 Sunday 6th September 2026

🚪 Doors Open: 1:15pm
👀 Eyes Down: 2:00pm SHARP!
(Late arrivals will be stared at... and possibly judged.)

🎟 £10 Per Card

💸 Got an extra £2? Have a crack at our Irish Bingo – winner takes the lot!

✨ 9 Games • Plenty of Winners • Even More Questionable Shouts of "BINGO!" ✨

🟡 Games 1–7
• One Line – £5
• Full House – £10

🔵 Flyer Game
• One Line – £5
• Two Lines – £10
• Full House – £15

❄️ Snowball Jackpot – Game 8

💥 Full House in 55 numbers or fewer wins the £55 JACKPOT!

💷 Miss the Snowball? Don't panic – there's still a guaranteed £35 waiting for someone.

🍻 The bar will be open... because some bingo decisions are much easier to accept after a pint.

🎤 Expect terrible singing, dramatic celebrations, suspiciously lucky people, and at least one person who'll shout "BINGO!" just as you're one number away.

🖊 Bring your dabbers, your lucky charm, and that auntie who somehow wins every single week despite insisting she's "never lucky."

Come along for an afternoon of laughs, near misses, false alarms, dodgy bingo etiquette, and the annual reminder that two little ducks still causes half the room to quack.

🎉 See you on Sunday – and may the bingo gods be ever in your favour! 🎉

You want to be the reincarnation of Dolly Parton?

You think you can run the free world?

You want to travel the world without leaving the stage?

Townhill Bowling Club are delighted to invite everyone to a night of high jinx, laughs and dubious performances from volunteers led by Hypnotist Luke Mindwalker.

📆 Saturday 13th February
⏰️ Doors open 1900hrs
💸 £10
Age restrictions: Volunteers MUST be 18yrs and over, the Challenge 25 legislation will be in force for this part of the evening so those lucky enough to look younger than you are, bring ID

Tickets on sale behind the bar or get in touch with the page

🎟️ TICKETS ARE SELLING FAST! 🎟️

A wee reminder for anyone who has asked for tickets to be set aside — could you please pop into the club this weekend to make payment, or contact the page to arrange payment.

We’re getting through the tickets quickly, so please don’t leave it too long and risk missing out! 👀

Thanks everyone for your continued support ❤️

Tote Numbers for 30th August 2026

3, 10, 17, 28, 42, 47

No winners

Next week £1150

🎉 TOWNHILL BOWLING CLUB – CLUB TOTE! 🎉

Townhill Bowling Club invites all members, family, friends……and ahh go on then — we’ll accept strangers too 😄

Fancy your chances? Here’s how it works:

🔢 Pick 4 numbers
🎯 Match any 4 out of the 6 drawn to WIN
✔️ Simple as that
💷 50p a line
🔥 Club Deal: 2 lines for £1

Want in?

📩 Message the page or speak to anyone at the club

Tote Numbers for 23rd August 2026

18, 28, 29, 37, 41, 46

No winners

Next week £1100

🎉 TOWNHILL BOWLING CLUB – CLUB TOTE! 🎉

Townhill Bowling Club invites all members, family, friends……and ahh go on then — we’ll accept strangers too 😄

Fancy your chances? Here’s how it works:

🔢 Pick 4 numbers
🎯 Match any 4 out of the 6 drawn to WIN
✔️ Simple as that
💷 50p a line
🔥 Club Deal: 2 lines for £1

Want in?

📩 Message the page or speak to anyone at the club

Folks, please don't say we're NOT there for ye

Use the "sickline" at your own risk

Tickets are on sale behind the bar Saturday and Sunday or contract the page

‐------------------------------------------------------------------

OFFICIAL(ISH) SCOTTISH DAY DISCO SICK LINE

Patient: ______________________________
Date of Issue: ________________________
Period of Incapacity:Saturday 3rd October 2026

Medical Condition
The above-named individual is suffering from A"cute" Saturday Disco Syndrome (ASDS).
Symptoms may include:
• Sudden inability to perform normal employment duties.
• Excessive enthusiasm for music from the 70s, 80s, 90s and/or whatever the DJ thinks is acceptable.
• Uncontrollable dancing.
• Severe disco-related excitement.
• A potentially dangerous urge to shout “ONE MORE TUNE!”
• Temporary loss of the ability to remember that they were supposedly meant to be at work.
Medical Advice
The holder of this certificate is NOT off work to enjoy themselves at a party.

They are, in fact, attending the Townhill Bowling Club Day Disco purely for essential medical observation and research purposes.

It is strongly recommended that they remain in the vicinity of the dance floor, consume appropriate quantities of refreshments and avoid returning to work until their condition has been thoroughly assessed by suitably unqualified friends.

Expected recovery:
Possibly by Sunday morning.
Monday is considered extremely optimistic.
This document is entirely real and truthful (honest) and has absolutely absolute medical or employment validity (Possibly).

Signed: __________________________

Dr. Absolutely Not A Real Doctor
Specialist in Disco-Related Illnesses

For anyone unfortunate enough to have to work that day, Townhill Bowling Club is delighted to announce that we are willing to employ a First Aider of exceptionally poor quality, questionable honesty and absolutely zero professional integrity.

Should your employer have the audacity to phone the club asking why you weren't at work, our highly trained medical professional will confirm that you were extremely unwell.

They will, of course, leave out the minor details… such as why you were upside down over a speaker, why you were attempting to dance with a traffic cone, or why you were telling complete strangers in the toilet corridor that they were the love of your life.

And if your employer requires proof, don't worry.

With enough notice, we may even be able to produce a fully legitimate-looking medical certificate, conveniently downloaded from a suspicious website on the dark web, confirming that you were suffering from whatever illness you fancy.

“Acute Disco Syndrome” is particularly difficult for employers to challenge.

So don't worry about work, come along for an afternoon of dancing.

Townhill Bowling Club has your back.

Your dignity, however, is very much your own responsibility. 😂

🎉 AFTERNOON DISCO... BECAUSE WE'RE ALL IN BED BY 10PM ANYWAY! 🎉

Feeling like a night-time disco is a bit of a marathon these days?

Fancy a boogie without needing three days to recover?

Love the idea of dancing... but also love being home in time for your tea?

Want to walk home in broad daylight instead of wondering where you left your dignity at 1am?

THEN LOOK NO FURTHER!

🕺 Townhill Bowling Club is delighted (and slightly confused) to announce our first-ever Saturday Afternoon Disco!

💃 Dance your way through an afternoon of absolute floor-fillers, guilty pleasures and songs you'll swear you don't know... right before singing every word.

🪩 Master The Slosh like it's still 1997 while your other half has a game of bowls... or better yet, send the kids onto the green and drag your other half onto the dancefloor!

🍝 Then head home at a sensible hour, stick the spaghetti bolognese on, and somehow manage to drip it down your brand-new Shein top before you've even sat down.

No midnight taxis. No next-day regrets. Just great music, plenty of laughs, and still home in time to watch Love Island.

Who's in? 🕺💃

📆 - Saturday 3rd October
⏰️ - 1300hrs - 1700hrs
🔖 - £5

Tickets available behind the bar or message the page