Acts of Dove

The second memorial held this year was for Sense Scotland as they couldn’t make it to the memorial at Crossbasket.

Rather than have a sit down memorial we provided a range of crafts, sensory and memorial activities for all to take part in. All aimed at helping them remember and celebrate the lives of people they have lost.

I’d like to thank Leah from Pause CC for working with me on this, and also the legend that is Tam the Piper for coming to pipe for the group as we let the doves fly.

Thank you for allowing us to come along and be a part of this special day.

My wonderful friend has written a poem in remembrance of all the babies that are not in our arms. I thought it might bring some of you some comfort 🤍

This is a special poem I’ve written titled Never Goodbye, in honour and remembrance of the little ones we've lost. It’s a gentle reflection on love, memory, and the enduring bond that never fades - a reminder that it’s never goodbye. If it resonates with you, I hope it offers some comfort amid the sadness.

Never Goodbye
by David Somerville

Hello world, I never got to meet you,
To smile or see your smile shine through.
I was inside mummy, safe and warm,
But somehow, I got caught in a storm.

To a place beyond what I knew,
Where love surrounds me, kind and true.
Grandparents’ laughter, I’d love to hear,
Playing with me and holding me near.

What about my brothers and sisters? I wonder,
Did I have siblings? Did I steal their thunder?
Though I’m not in your arms today,
Please remember me softly, I'll never stray.

I was joy, I was hope, a tiny spark,
A heartbeat, a whisper in the dark.
My presence lingers, soft and sweet,
A hope for love that’s still complete.

Mummy’s tears fall, Daddy’s sad too,
I wish I could tell you what I knew.
But I was love, a shining light,
A gentle joy in the quiet night.

Don’t be too sad, don’t let sorrow stay,
I’m still with you in my special way.
Say my name, hold me in your mind,
In your hearts, beautiful and kind.

Although I’m gone in body now,
I’m still with you, I wonder how.
Reach into your heart, I’ll always be,
Waving, smiling, waiting to see.

In sleep and dreams, I find my peace,
A safe, eternal, gentle release.
One day we’ll meet, hand in hand,
Together again, in that promised land.

Until that moment, live with love and grace,
Keep peace in your heart, in this sacred space.
Goodnight, my family, I’ll stay close by,
Forever and always, but never goodbye.

__________________________________________

Here are just a couple of amazing charities that are always here to help.

Sands
https://www.sands.org.uk/
Sands - baby loss charity
SANDS Glasgow
Lanarkshire Sands

Baby Loss Retreat
https://babylossretreat.org.uk/
Baby Loss Retreat - Aftercare Support

Thank you to everyone who attended the Christmas Memorial Service. I hope we managed to bring you some comfort.

8 tickets available for Christmas memorial this Sunday due to cancellations;
Sunday 21st December
Crossbasket Castle
11am

Christmas Dove Memorial Join us in honouring and remembering our loved ones at the Christmas Dove Memorial event.

If you are reading this because you are planning a funeral or a memorial just now, I am really sorry you are having to do that.

It is a lot to carry. You might be here because someone mentioned a dove release, or you have seen one before, or you are just looking for something that feels like “them” and are not sure what that is yet.

If you would like to talk it through, you are very welcome to send me a message. You do not need to have a clear idea or the right words. We can start with, “Here is who they were.” There is never any pressure. I have attended hundred of funerals with my doves now, so even if you just need someone to talk through that heavy stuff with, I'm here.

Sometimes we end up arranging something together. Sometimes it is simply a helpful chat. Both are completely okay.

Deadline for photo submission for Christmas memorial is today! Every single person has been contacted.

Families do not always agree straight away.

Some worry it will feel like “too much”.
Some feel anxious about birds. Some are thinking about money, others just know they want a moment that marks the end of the service in a gentle way.

I tend to find that whilst you see the beauty in a dove release, someone else may not. I can tell you it's usually those who haven't been involved in the booking that are the most interested and complimentary on the day of the release. Where they might not understand they idea of it, the reality can be quite different.

When you get in touch, I am not expecting a definite yes. We can talk through what your person was like, what different family members are worried about, how many doves feel comfortable, how involved people want to be at the basket, and whether you want words spoken or to keep it very quiet.

Sometimes we find a version that everyone is comfortable with. Sometimes, after talking it through, a family decides not to have a release at all. My role is not to talk you into anything. It is to help you decide what feels right for your family, even if the answer is no.

Feel free to give me a call or message with any questionsl, I am always here to help.

Not every family wants a big, elaborate gesture.

Some people tell me, “We just want something simple at the end,” or “I don't want everyone looking at me.”

A dove release does not have to be grand or complicated. It can be a smaller group of doves rather than a larger flock, only a few people at the basket with others watching from where they are, and very few words or none at all if that feels easier.

What matters is that it fits the tone of the day and feels like your person. If you are drawn to the idea but worried it might feel “too much”, we can shape something very calm and low-key together.

When I think back over the families I have worked with, certain little phrases stay with me.

A mum who said, “I could feel the doves heartbeat, it gave me something to focus on,”. A grandson who said, “he would have loved this,” after releasing his dove.

These are the things people talk about afterwards. Not the timings, not the packages. Just how that tiny slice of the day made them feel.

If you have ever been at a dove release, I wonder if there was a small moment like that for you?