Ciorstain-Photography

"You are totally exhausted!"
This is what my kinesiologist friend told me after consulting my body's wisdom.

I - my mind - could neither see it nor feel it and had no willingness to admit it either.

I was doing, doing, doing.
Pushing through.
Doing more.

This is what I knew.

Connection to my body: NIL.
Flogging my body to do more? Perfection.

She prescribed me 10 minutes every day lying flat listening to classical music.

I was not even able to endure 5.

It was torture.
My mind was racing.
I could not just BE.

That was me - before I stumbled over Human Design and found out I was a Projector.

Human Design opened my eyes and my mind.
It made so much sense - all my life suddenly made sense.

My body exhaled.

It was the start of a journey back to myself.
To start listening.
To allow rest.

To reconnect to the real me that was buried under the constant doing and pushing - barely breathing - with no voice.

I'll be honest - it was not an easy journey.
There were setbacks where I was pulled back into the old.

But this time my body had a voice.
I could feel my exhaustion.
I could steer against it.

And I wobbled more than I care to admit.

Because living in a sacral world of doing, while trying to step into your Projector power with little to no evidence that it would work - needs courage and determination.

Stepping back from that and carving your own way is not easy.
Especially not when you are on your own.

This is why I created the Projector Power Portal.

A space for Projectors led by a Projector.

Where you move forward in your own unique way - without sacral distractions pulling you back.

A Projector-only space
where you don't leave the room exhausted and empty.
Where recognition is on tap.
Where you finally get to fully recognise yourself.

Your genius is needed.
In your fullest expression.
In your Projector power.

3 Projectors. 4 months. Starting this month.

Message me if this feels juicy. 🜂

On Friday last week I went on a 25-hour digital detox - no phone, no screens. Nothing.
When this was proposed to me I first thought, yay - no problem.
Then I realised … 25 hours?
That is bloody long. It terrified me.

How could I possibly be away from all this “important” stuff for that long?
If anyone knows me, if something terrifies me, I get closer.
That is usually exactly what I need to face.

On Friday at 6 pm I was meant to shut everything off.
The last hr was probably some of the most efficient time I’ve ever had to get everything done I wanted to finish before 6 pm.
That really reminded me of the old times when you wanted to leave the office on time but still had so much to do.

This alone was already an eye opener.

Because if we do not have an end time… things can streeeeeeeetch.

I went out with my BF for dinner and it was great.
Undivided attention.
No “let me quickly check this on Google…”
No sneaky peeks to see if someone messaged or commented on a post.
It was bliss!!!

I actually went to bed earlier - because there was no mindless scrolling keeping me up. (Yes, this pesky last checkin can end up in an extra h2!!)
I am not a doom scroller at all. But I do get sucked in.
Well… that’s exactly what social media is designed for, isn’t it?

Saturday morning: reading a book with my coffee.

Bliss again.

I went on my yoga mat much quicker than usual and looked after my body and mind.
There was not a single moment where I missed my phone, the laptop or anything.

It was so blissful that I didn’t feel the need to switch my phone on at all when the time was up - I kept going.

I eventually broke the digital fast after 44 hrs - only because I wanted to edit some photos for my daily journal I have been running for over 10 years.

I timed my screen time to 75 min.

And I managed to do everything I wanted to do - including checking emails and social - before going offline again.

I read books.
I studied.
I did some work on myself (stuff we often talk about and rarely do).
I relaxed properly.
I was a very happy person.

I also realised that I have only really been on social since I started my biz full time. Before that? Never.
I could very happily go back to that.

My learnings:

I don’t need to be online all the time.
Social media sucks energy - badly.
Even with awareness we need to watch ourselves. Getting sucked in happens sneakily and suddenly an hour (or more) is gone.
I am no longer willing to dedicate that much of my life force to screens.
I will limit my time much more consciously so that I focus on what really needs to be done instead of losing myself (and my energy) in places that do not serve me.

I plan to continue with a weekly detox from Friday evening until Saturday night.
25 hrs at least.

It felt like I got a piece of my life back that had been sneakily taken from me without me giving permission.

Tell me - have you ever done a full digital detox for more than a few hrs?

When I was in corporate, I never felt I was “professional.”
I never wanted to be.
“She is very professional” sounds like an insult to me.
🜂

The success I had in my corporate career was never because I played the game so well.
It was because I was interested in the human behind the “professional” mask.
That’s what kept me in my job as a Key Account Manager facing VIP clients.

I didn’t see titles, I saw people.
And I was genuinely interested in them.
As humans.

🜂
They opened up to me in many ways.
The connections were genuine.
The relationships I built mattered.
That’s what gave me joy.

Hierarchy?
I never cared for that.
Never obeyed it.
Never played along with it.

For me everyone is important.
Each one a soul doing what they came here to do.
Worthy of being seen and recognised.
🜂

I was never “professional.”
I was human.

Curious about what’s underneath.

Not politically correct either.
Another badge I never wore.
🜂

Looking back now I see it clearly.

My Projector self was doing what she does best.

Seeing on soul level.
Connecting deeply.
Holding space.

One person at a time.

Not “professional” at all.

🜂
So tell me -

What does “being professional” actually mean to you?

Does it stir anything in you?

🜂

PS. To all my former corporate clients and colleagues - if you see this, know - I truly value you and our time spent together.

We start in April ✨

3 Projectors
4 month
121 and group.

Powerful AF.

DM me if this calls you.

You found out you are a projector ….
First - wow - I am so special!
There are only 20% of us …
Then - the next wave hits:
Crikey
My life suddenly makes sense,
My childhood makes sense,
My school experience makes sense ..
You feel like you have found the key to the castle …..
And then …..
You dig deeper ……
Waiting for invitation ….
Well - hmm
That sounds limiting? (Spoiler alert - it’s not)
WTF does recognition even mean in real life?
You start spotting your conditioning …..
And that it doesn’t do you good … and realise… you are still “doing”
Operating the way you always have - just with different awareness.
That’s when you suddenly realise:
Being a projector and creating your version of success
is not as straightforward as you thought in the first place.
Making sense of the past is one thing.
But moving into an aligned presence and future and being the powerful Projector?
That’s a whole different game.
I have been there - I have gone through all of that.
Trial and error -
Thinking I got it…
then slipping back into old habits.
Doing things the “old” way, the familiar way,
the “safe” way
The Generator and Mani Gen way.
I spent 10 thousands of Pounds to be coached in sacral led spaces -
in groups that pulled me out of alignment more than they stabilised it.
Spaces that made me question if there actually is “a projector way” or
if I was maybe just making that sh$t up.
We projectors are here to guide - to support and move the collective forward.
Even into a new paradigm if we want to think about 2027.
But we do not learn how to embody that in Generator led spaces.
We get pulled out of it. Again and again.
And it’s not pretty.
To fully thrive and step into our real power,
we need a space that recognises us,
holds us and moves us forward in a way that supports our growth.
With other projectors.
And this did not exist for me - but here it is for you!
The Projector Power Portal
For Projectors.
Designed by a Projector.
Small.
Precise.
Without sacral distractions.
A space where your alignment finally gets to stabilise.
Where you start trusting your inner compass and stop comparing yourself with sacral beings.
A space where you are truly seen.
Precisely guided and supported as you move forward in your own way.
The Projector Power Portal opens in April.
3 Projectors.
4 months.
1:1 and group.

The first Projector Gathering happened 2 weeks ago - already?

I called in Projectors to create a Projector-only field.
To show them how incredible that feels.
How natural recognition becomes when we are in our own company.

It was beautiful. So much positive feedback.

But the one thing I was not prepared for - ironically - was the recognition I received.

Oh my, was I seen.

And to be fully honest - it stopped me in my tracks at first…

I created this to be of service.
For Projectors to experience what it actually feels like to be seen, recognised and invited.

I hadn’t given a single thought to what that would mean for me.

And crikey… it took me a few days to really let that land. To receive it.

As they say - I took my own medicine.

And it confirmed something I’ve been knowing for a while:
This is what I’m here to create for Projectors.

A guidance space for Projectors - by a Projector.
What I was missing for a long time was support that wasn’t Generator-led.

Something that didn’t distract me from who I am.

Or pull me back into old habits - that only led to exhaustion and bitterness.

There are so many powerful Projectors seeking support in spaces that aren’t designed for them.

Even when they know their design.
It’s almost impossible to stabilise in the wrong environment.

The Projector Power Portal is an intimate space for Projectors.
Led by a Projector.

It’s not a community.

An embodiment space to fully bring your Projector power online without sacral distractions.

A room where you get to fully be who you are and build trust in that.
So your way of leading your life, your business and others finally becomes solid.

Exactly the space I would have loved years ago - it would have fast tracked my progress massively.

Projectors, you are here to fulfil your role -
and still find yourselves operating like a Generator or ManiGen.

It’s draining.
You start doubting yourself and your inner guidance.

And it keeps you from stepping into your full Projector power.
This is exactly what the Projector Power Portal is here for.
There is space for 3 Projectors in total

4 month
1:1 and group
We start in April.

If that hits - message me. 🜂

“It didn’t suck the life out of me.”

That was one of the reflections after the first Projector Gathering.

And honestly… that says a lot.

Most group spaces are built from and for sacral energy.

For many Projectors that means leaving the room more exhausted than when they arrived.

But something different happened last week.

10 Projectors.
Seeing and being seen.
No pressure to perform.

Instead:

Recognition.

A room where Projector auras meet and that feeling of being different disappears.

Recognition becomes natural.
You start seeing yourself differently.
Your power returns.

And that shift is vital.

Projectors don’t struggle because something is wrong with them.
They struggle because they are trying to align and grow inside environments that were never built for them.

Change the environment and alignment stabilises.

Leaning into your Projector power becomes easier.

Leadership becomes natural.

That’s exactly why I’m creating something new.

From a Projector.
For Projectors.

A space where alignment stops slipping and Projector leadership becomes real.

This is only the beginning.
🜂

Yesterday it happened - I hosted the first Projector Gathering.

10 Projectors in one room = recognition on steroids.

Seeing and being seen in a way that can only happen in a Projector-only field.
The energy was palpable.
Our auras were basically buzzing!

No agenda.
No teaching.
No slides.

(Which did feel scary - but was fully intended.)

A room led by recognition only is a very different space to hold.
And I held it.

No strategy.
No hustle.

Instead: seeing and being seen.

At one point someone said:
“We all have a resting smile face.”

And it was true.

There was honesty.
Support.

Sharing what it really feels like to move through the world differently.

When Projectors are recognised - and finally recognise themselves - something big shifts.

This felt like the beginning of something important.

Actually…

It is the beginning of something important.

Stay tuned.
🜂

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫.
The field is forming - our room is almost complete.

I love how it works.

Different countries.
Different authorities.
Different journeys.

Yet the same underlying experiences.

This is why I opened this Gathering.
As a Projector-owned field.

No performance.
No overexplaining.
No trying to be seen, recognised or understood.

Honest presence between Projectors,
Who actually live with this design.
Who see and recognise each other - naturally.

9 Projectors have already joined the room.
Organically. Led by recognition.

I can already feel the depth of it.

🗓 March 2nd
🕐 1 pm (UK)
📍 Live on Zoom

12 spots in total.
Intimate by design.

If this resonated and you’d like to join us,
Comment or message me for the link. 🜂

Fire Horse energy is not about impulsive acceleration.
Discernment first.
Alignment first.

Then movement becomes clean.

𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫.

The room is forming.
Exactly as it is supposed to be.

The first Projector Gathering is now set:

🗓 March 2nd
🕐 1 pm (UK)
📍 Live on Zoom

An intimate, Projector-only field.

No teaching.
No slides.
No productivity noise.

Honest conversation between Projectors living and leading in a sacral world.

Some have already said yes.
Some couldn’t make the time.
Everything is perfect.
This is a recognition-led space, not a mass event.

12 spots.
Intimate by design.

If this invitation resonates with you,
comment or message me and I’ll send the details.

How apt.
I am in Berlin, sorting the tail end of one of my biggest snake sheddings of 2025.

Resolving my parents’ physical inheritance - things I put into storage in Germany in 2013 and 2018 after their death.
And then refused to look at for years.

Until last summer.
When the Snake kicked my ass - less than subtle - and made it very clear that it was time.

The only way to sort it (thank you Brexit) was via my tiny flat in Berlin.
Not where the items were stored.
Of course.

The biggest part arrived in September.
Going through my dad’s precious antique camera collection and many personal pieces was deeply emotional.
But also very soothing.

I honoured every single item while cataloguing it.
Slowly. Consciously.
Properly closing a chapter.
Making peace with it.

And something interesting happened.
A rather persistent and ugly shoulder pain I had been dealing with for quite some time - without improvement - suddenly ceased.

Well - I am a qualified Quantum Healer.
I work with clients on releasing emotional stress that affects their wellbeing all the time.
Still, it is always incredible to experience how pain and physical tension shifts when the true emotional issue is finally resolved.

This trip to Berlin was for the final load.
Four more pallets.
Boxes. Furniture. The last layer.

Everything was delivered yesterday.
The day before the Lunar New Year.
The last day of the snake.
That felt important.

So today, the Year of the Fire Horse begins.

I opened the first box.
And this was the first thing inside.

A photo of me and my horse. I was about 16 or 17.
My mother had framed it for the wall.

Well - thank you Universe!
You are indeed not subtle.

After a year of shedding, sorting, honouring and closing cycles,
the horse arrives.

Here’s to the year of the fire horse 🐎!
🜂