Emma Toms - The Confident Wellness Coach

There are moments in life that arrive and they ask nothing of us except that we notice them.

Tonight I completed Module Two of my COSCA Counselling Skills course, and I walked away carrying something I haven't always found easy to hold. A certainty in myself.

Not perfection or expertise. Just the feeling that everything is in the right place.

Each skills practice,silence and tentative beginning has taught me that presence matters more than having the right words. That listening is an act of generosity. That curiosity can soften even the hardest edges.

It's been an interesting journey of starting to trust what was already there. Calm. Warmth. The ability to sit with another human being without needing to fix or rescue.

To everyone who shared this journey I'm very grateful for you challenging and encouraging me. You have helped me see parts of myself that were always there, just waiting to be recognised.

Sometimes the growth we are searching for is already present, waiting for us to see it

Every Winter Solstice I write down what I hope for.
Not goals or five-year plans.
Just things I'd like more of

Freedom. Ease. Connection. A business that feels sustainable. Relationships that nourish me. Enough income to stop living with one eye on the bank account. A life that feels like somewhere I actually want to be.

Nearly at Summer Solstice, I'm noticing just how much has arrived.

Business has grown.
New relationships.
Romance
Income increased.
More fun, laughter and a sense that I am living instead of constantly recovering.

Healing has happened. Definitely.

Last year was movement.
Every opportunity, every project, every idea.
By Christmas I was utterly exhausted.

This year is different.
Consistency.
Patience.
Steady effort.
Showing up every day rather than chasing the next thing.

Because of that, this summer will be deliberately quiet.
No huge holidays.
No packed social calendar.
No pressure to make every sunny evening count.
Just a few days on the Cumbrian coast that feels like home to my soul.

Walking beside the sea.
Reading until the light fades.
Attempting to finish my book.
Tea in oversized mugs, a couple of glasses of good red wine and probably a big juicy steak.

These pauses are where we notice what we've outgrown.
Where we celebrate what we've survived.
Where we stop measuring ourselves by what still needs fixing and instead honour who we have become.

A few reflections for your own journal
• What did you ask for six months ago that is already finding its way to you?
• What version of yourself no longer needs to come into this next season?
• Where have you grown so gradually that you've almost forgotten to celebrate it?
• What would rest look like if you stopped believing you had to earn it?

From August and into the darker months, I'm creating more spaces for exactly these conversations.

Seasonal classes.
Gentle practices.
Time to reflect and gather with others who are looking for something a little deeper than simply getting through

Join me on the journey by signing up to the website or join us at Root and Gather - Glasgow to get connected in person.

Yoga and meditation won't sort out your life.
They were never meant to.
They aren't the answer.
They're the pause.

They create enough space to soften the pressure, slow the noise and let you breathe again and of course that's important.

But if you keep returning to the same beliefs...
"I have to keep going."
"I'm not enough."
"It's all my fault."
"I have to make everyone else happy."

..then you'll keep rebuilding the same life, no matter how many breaths you take or how many hours you spend on a meditation cushion.

Practice is important, it's a great way to give your body and mind something safe and stable.

But real change happens when we look beneath the coping strategies and begin to question the identity we've been carrying for years.

Who are you without the fear?
Who are you without the people pleasing?
Who are you without the story that you've always had to survive?

That's where lives begin to change.

I've watched clients spend years trying to calm themselves, only to discover that once old emotional patterns and identity imprints are updated through IEMT, they're no longer trying to feel different, they just are different

The practice doesn't disappear., it becomes something supportive rather than something you desperately need to keep yourself afloat.

That's a very different way of living.

IEMT Practitioner Training review by Emma Toms Emma Toms is an Integrated Wellness Coach, IEMT Practitioner and SS...

Listen to my own experience of being a client and training to be a Practitioner in Integral Eye Movement Techniques

You can find me:
Online
West Glasgow
The Health Collective in Kinning Park
Men Matter Scotland

IEMT Practitioner Training review by Emma Toms Emma Toms is an Integrated Wellness Coach, IEMT Practitioner and SS...

Monster is one of my pet hates!

I'm not the fun police and I don't I think one can is going to ruin your life either!

But we've normalised drinking something that most people couldn't actually explain the ingredients of.

It's like a bloody cult! A green can in one hand and "I can't function without it" in the other.

What's in it?.

⚡ Caffeine (around 160mg in a 500ml can) Equivalent to around two strong cups of coffee. Caffeine can improve alertness and concentration, but in high amounts it can also increase anxiety, palpitations, poor sleep and raise stress hormones.

⚡ Sugar (around 54g in the original version) That's roughly 13 teaspoons of sugar in one can!!!! Large amounts of rapidly absorbed sugar create quick spikes in blood glucose followed by the crash that leaves many people reaching for another hit. 🙄

⚡ Taurine An amino acid naturally found in the body and plays a role in muscle and nervous system function. But mixing it with the other ingredients probably outweighs it's benefit.

⚡ Guarana. A plant extract that naturally contains caffeine. It can increase the total stimulant load beyond what people realise because it adds more caffeine to the drink.

⚡ Ginseng Used in herbal medicine to support alertness or reduce fatigue, but it can also interact with medications and isn't a magic energy solution.

⚡ B Vitamins. If your diet is adequate, adding this doesn't create more energy. They help release energy from food, not manufacture energy from nowhere.

⚡ Sweeteners, preservatives, flavourings and colourings. All approved for use and considered safe. Many people notice digestive issues, headaches or simply consume far more ultra-processed products than their bodies were ever designed to handle.

I also hear people say "I need it, it helps me" and in the next breath moan about poor sleep and stomach pain.

The detrimental effects to young people is rarely considered either. The very market it is aimed at!

So
Are you a fully fledged consumer or a secret Monster drinker?

Pleased to be back at Men Matter Scotland today after a few weeks away for holidays and retreat work.

Every Monday, I have the privilege of working alongside men who are ready to understand themselves a little better.

Through IEMT and somatic coaching, we explore the patterns that keep them stuck, build awareness of the nervous system, and create space for new responses instead of old reactions.

It's not about fixing people or endlessly talking about the past. It's about reducing the emotional charge, reconnecting with the body, and helping men regain a sense of choice, confidence, and agency in their everyday lives.

Small shifts, practised consistently, can change the direction of a life.

Grateful to be back, continuing this important work with the Men Matter community.

www.emmatoms.com

I've been thinking about this a lot recently and I posted the other day about my experience. People are asking for something that many systems simply aren't designed to provide.

Every week I meet people living with chronic illness, anxiety, autoimmune disease, burnout or unexplained symptoms.

Almost all of them say the same thing. "I know there's something deeper going on."

They're not looking for someone to wave a magic wand. They're looking for someone to listen.

Someone to ask about stress.
About sleep.
About relationships.
About grief.
About work.
About what was happening in life before the symptoms appeared.

Instead, many leave appointments with a diagnosis but very little understanding. Or worse, feeling dismissed. Feeling like they've wasted someone's time, like the expert in their own body has been ignored. I've experienced that myself.

I've taken information into appointments only to be told it was nonsense. I've been told lifestyle changes wouldn't make a difference. Yet those same changes became part of the reason I recovered enough to build a completely different life.

One that led to me standing in front of professionals at Manchester Royal Eye Hospital, talking about patient-guided wellness and lived experience.

That's why I don't believe this is a battle between medicine and holistic health. It's much more interesting than that.

The people inside the system often want to deliver better care, but they're working within structures built around time pressures, targets and pathways that don't always allow for curiosity or complexity.

Modern chronic illness is rarely one thing.
It's biology and psychology.
It's environment and behaviour.
It's stress and relationships.
It's food and movement.
It's purpose and community.
It's medicine and everything that surrounds it.

So I found myself pondering if we're ready to build a model that treats people as active participants in their own health rather than passive recipients of treatment.

Because in my experience, that's what people are really looking for.

Not someone to fix them.
Someone to help them understand themselves.