Haslemere Cricket Club

🚨 Fantasy League & Gameweek 6 Update 🚨

Gameweek 6 was a complete washout. Hence the lack of posts this week.

No runs.
No wickets.
No catches.
No ducks.

And...

No fantasy points for anyone.

A crushing blow for those who had carefully planned their double gameweek chip. A huge relief for those whose teams are built entirely around unavailable players and false hope.

Instead, attention turned to the clubhouse, where plenty of pints were consumed in celebration of a far more important event.

💍 Congratulations to Josh Tytler and Erika on their engagement!

A brilliant evening and we're all delighted for you both.

🦆 Duck Watch

No cricket means no ducks.

Which means Jack Hamilton successfully navigates another gameweek without getting out for 0.

A huge achievement.

Granted, there wasn't any cricket.

But fantasy is all about momentum.

Keep it going Ham.

👀 Gibbo Watch

Unfortunately, after a brief sighting around the Rec a couple of weeks ago, Gibbo has once again disappeared into the shadows.

No cricket.

No appearance at the engagement celebrations.

No explanation.

The people deserve answers.

That's all for this week.

No points.
No leaderboard changes.
No cricket.

Just rain, pints and an engagement.

We'll dust ourselves off and go again next week.

🍻💍🏏🌧️🦆

🚨 Fantasy League – Gameweek 5 Update 🚨
Another week of cricket chaos, another fantasy update.

A quick glance at the table shows Harry Parker still sat proudly at the top, although he did put down an absolute dolly off my bowling on Saturday, so I've considered docking him points for crimes against off-spin.

Meanwhile, Boozer's Long Hop & Duck Brigade remain rooted to the bottom. After deploying his Double Gameweek chip, they managed to score a grand total of 0 points. Genius.

🏏 Who Did Well?

Al Ho**er – 109pts

An unbeaten 50-odd, a wicket, probably took a catch, probably cured a disease, probably helped an old lady cross the road.The man is fantasy beige. Consistently excellent and therefore increasingly difficult to write about.

Scott Boxall – 106pts

22 runs and 4 wickets.Admittedly some of those wickets came against the tail, but fantasy doesn't care and neither should we.

Chris Spooner – 115pts

Chris has spent most of the week explaining that everyone else bowled rubbish and it was entirely down to him to keep things tight and build pressure.

How am I supposed to know that?

You score a fifty, walk off at the slightest LBW appeal, leave before the game's finished, and disappear home to watch Arsenal bottle another trophy.

Had you done the sensible thing and stayed, you could have spent three hours explaining how good you were.

❌ The Bad

Not much to report this week, which is frankly disappointing.

Harry Pavia joined the Duck Club, but he is generally a nice chap, so we'll let him off.

And now for the biggest story of the week..

🚨 BREAKING NEWS, JACK HAMILTON DID NOT GET A DUCK

Granted, he didn't bat. But details aren't important.

Keep going Ham.

👀 Gibbo Watch

While not officially active yet, there have been sightings. Gibbo was spotted lurking around the Rec this weekend and rumours suggest he may have caught the cricket bug again.

A couple of Rec Fosters can do that to a man.

The comeback tour may be closer than he thinks

For the full league table and player stats head over to the Haslemere CC website.

🏏🦆🍺💣

🍾☀️ The Return of the Haslemere CC WAGs Boozy Brunch! ☀️🍾

After the huge success of last year's event (although some reports suggest the "bottomless" drinks were approached with surprising restraint... 👀), we're bringing back the Haslemere CC WAGs Boozy Brunch for 2026!

📅 20th June
🕐 From 1:00pm
📍 The Rec

Get your bookings in with Gracie, round up your friends, pack the suncream, and prepare your finest sledges for the unfortunate Haslemere lads attempting to concentrate on cricket in front of a well-lubricated crowd. 🎯🏏

Whether you're a seasoned brunch veteran or making your debut appearance, expect great company, plenty of laughs, and hopefully plenty of sunshine.

All the details you need are on the poster above.







🍞👀🍹

📅 SOCIAL CALENDAR REMINDER 🍻

We're already 5 gameweeks into the season 🤯

So far we've had one brilliant Darts Night, and we've still got plenty to come this summer...

🍾 20th June – WAG's Boozy Brunch

The next social on the calendar.

Last year's event created memories for some... and selective memory loss for others.

Get it in the diary, grab your suncream, bring your best sledges, and enjoy a day where the boys do the running around while everyone else enjoys the sunshine 🍹☀️

If you're planning on coming, let us know!

🧠 12th July – Quiz Night

Time to start assembling your dream team.

Whether you're a quiz machine or just there for moral support, get involved.

🍻 2nd August – President's Day

A staple of the Haslemere CC calendar.

⚽ 23rd August – Annual 6-a-Side Tournament

More details coming soon...

The socials only work because of the people who turn up and support them. The volunteers behind these events put a huge amount of effort in, so let's make them all a success 👏

See you at the club 🍻

GAMEWEEK 5 RESULTS 🏏

Timed cricket is back, the sun was relentless, and anyone fielding first was in for a long afternoon.

1️⃣ 1st XI vs Grayswood CC 1st XI

Grayswood batted first and made full use of their 48 overs, posting 218 all out. On a small ground in blistering conditions, the boys stuck at it well, with Ollie Ellis bowling tightly and Scott Boxall picking up four wickets.

At halfway, both sides probably fancied their chances.

In reply, Scott and Tinny laid the foundations, seeing off the openers and notching a few runs along the way, before the ever consistent Al Ho**er (59*) and “in a rush” Chris Spooner (52) took control. With the target in sight, young Jason Wright arrived at number five and saw things home in his usual swashbuckling manner as the boys cruised to 219 with overs and time to spare.

✅ Win
✅ 30 points
✅ Local bragging rights

And yes, most of the team stayed to watch the end... 👀

2️⃣ 2nd XI vs Elsted CC 2nd XI

At The Rec, Elsted posted 225/7 after taking advantage of a very short boundary and some costly dropped chances. The highlight was another excellent 👀 spell from Leo Homewood, who picked up a cheeky 3-fer.

The chase never quite got going, but with defeat looming, skipper Rash and vice-captain ConJon dug in with 16 overs left. What followed wasn't exactly box office cricket:

Block. Leave. Repeat.

To the growing frustration of the Elsted side, the pair proved completely immovable, shutting up shop and seeing out the remaining overs to secure a losing draw and 7 valuable points.

A picture of the boys coming off after their long stint - very pleased with themselves to be bagging some points!

Not always pretty, but effective.

37 points from the weekend and a big win for the 1s. Not a bad Saturday for the Mere. 💙

💙 🏏

🚨 Fantasy League – Gameweek 4 Update 🚨

A slightly quieter weekend on the points front, with batting collapses, ducks flying about everywhere, and several fantasy assets delivering less than Ham's poker returns. Despite this, the title race is beginning to take shape.

After briefly surrendering top spot, HP Sauce returns to the summit thanks to a reasonably competent deployment of the Double Gameweek chip. Meanwhile, Kev Gray slides back to 3rd after a week that can best be described as "character building" ... featuring one duck and a supporting cast who apparently forgot fantasy points were available.

And before we go any further...
🦆 Boozer's Long Hop Brigade Watch
Still in negative points.
Four gameweeks in.
Quite impressive when you think about it.

🏏The Good Bits

❤️ Leo Homewood – 154pts

A 5-for. I've seen better. I've also seen worse.
The important thing is that the scorebook simply says 5 wickets.

"We couldn’t be more proud of you, my love." 🌹

🏏 Wrighty scored some runs in the 1s, which felt newsworthy enough to mention and a valuable 41pts

Meanwhile A. Ringer continues to be the greatest innovation in fantasy sports history. Another cheeky 54pts, courtesy Will (which one? who knows).

❌ The Bad Bits
And this week... there are plenty.

🦆 Duck Club: Jack Hamilton, Luke Millard, Chris Spooner, Brett Pretorius

Special mention for Brett, who was unfortunately run out after what can only be described as a catastrophic breakdown in communication.

Official fantasy review has concluded that absolutely nobody else was at fault whatsoever.

Particularly not the other batter.

No further questions will be taken.

🏆 Gameweek Winner - Scott Boxall - "Copper Water Tanks & Cheese and Onion Crisps"
An excellent 232 points secures the Gameweek 4 crown and a crisp £10 note heading your way

For the full league table and stats head over to the Haslemere CC website

Until next week:

Don't chase wide ones.
Don't run Brett out.
And if you're Jack Hamilton, maybe leave the first ball.

🏏💣🦆🍺

Gameweek 4 ☀️☀️🔥🔥

We're a bit delayed this week, I figured if its too hot for the trains out of London to work properly ... then why should I!

A weekend of mixed emotions for the boys this week, so let’s dive in…

1st XI 🫣
Away at Worplesdon & Burpham 1st XI… or at least that’s what we’ve been told. Reports are a little hazy, and those involved have politely declined to comment further.

We’ll swiftly move on before we reopen any wounds… but special mention to Wrighty for actually batting. Solid work that. 👏

2nd XI 😎🔥
Now THIS is where the weekend got interesting.

Skipper Rash was basically assembling a side out of sheer Willpower and availability chaos, including what at least 4 players named Will in the starting XI (get the earlier joke?) 😅

Batting first, they posted a respectable 156–9 off 40 overs. Rash himself anchoring things down with a glorious 32 not out off 93 balls. (Pure entertainment. Test match stuff. 🥱➡️🔥)

Then in the heat, the bowlers turned up the pressure and skittled Grayswood for 101 all out. Special mention to Leo Homewood who decided to take 5 wickets in 9 overs… heavily encouraged by a suspiciously vocal group of 1st XI players who had “returned early” from their own fixture for reasons we promised we absolutely will not be discussing. 🙊

👀

All in all:
2s = top-tier performance 👏
1s = regroup, recover, and we move… quickly on. 😅

🏏☀️ It’s Friday… which means just ONE more sleep until cricket! ☀️🏏

Here’s what Haslemere CC have lined up this weekend 👀

The 1st XI hit the road to take on Worplesdon & Burpham CC, while the 2nd XI are back at the Rec hosting Grayswood CC 🍻

A quick shoutout as well to our Under 9s, who are away at Godalming CC bright and early.

Plenty of chaos in store (I hope), fingers crossed for wins all round, plenty of runs and slightly fewer dropped catches than usual 🤞

Go well everyone and enjoy the sunshine 😎

🚨 Fantasy League – Gameweek 3 Update 🚨

Another week, another collection of cricketing filth to process.

The introduction of the Double Gameweek chip caused absolute scenes this weekend, with some elite levels of stat-padding taking place across the league.

Leading the charge is Kev Gray, who now sits proudly top of the leaderboard on 880pts, thanks to a monstrous 542-point week alone. He’s already opened up a 100-point lead at the top, shades of Ollie Ellis’ all-conquering 2025 campaign? Too early to say… but the propaganda machine has certainly started.

Elsewhere, most teams are now officially off the mark…

…apart from Boozer’s Long Hop Brigade, who remain beautifully stranded in the negative points. Living up to the name and judging by the team selection, it may not get better. 🫣

🏏 Performances of Note

Luke Millard - 130pts

Proving exactly why he’s the most selected player in the league, featuring in a ridiculous 16 squads despite a hefty price rise this week.

A classy 90 runs and batting beautifully. Owners delighted.

Al Ho**er - 141pts

Another week, another pile of runs and a few wickets.

At this point he’s basically fantasy admin on autopilot. Bore us again next week please, Al.

Leo Homewood – 103pts

A delightful 68 not out*, compiled with grace, composure, and probably far too much confidence afterwards.

An innings enjoyed by seated viewers across the globe 🌍

❌ The Bad Bits

Not much negativity this week for once, suspicious levels of competence across the club.

The only duck of the week belongs to Tom Roe (Pegger), who drilled one straight down cover’s throat. Efficient dismissal. Minimal fuss. Maximum disappointment.

Still, credit where it’s due, most people actually contributed something this week.

🏆 Gameweek Winner
Jamie Bacon — SEMOSEERHT SEVOL OEL

A huge 300pts secures the weekly crown and a lovely little £10 coming your way.

Strong week. Strong team name.

For the full league table and stats, head over to the Haslemere CC website.

🏏 MIDWEEK STEVENS CUP UPDATE 🏏

A little midweek update for you all. The boys were in Stevens T20 Cup action on Tuesday night, led by none other than Jack Hamilton 👀

After rain all day, covers mysteriously nowhere to be seen and the weather looking absolutely horrendous, somehow the umpires decided “yeah this is playable” and away we went.

Taking on Puttenham & Wanborough CC, Haslemere fielded a proper mixed bag of 1s and 2s lads and were put into bat first on what can only be described as a spicy Rec deck.

Ham, continuing his season-long mission to bludgeon himself into form, came out swinging and managed a rapid 12 before getting stumped charging down the track… village 🫡

Luckily James Savundra decided somebody should actually bat properly, holding the innings together superbly with a classy 45 on a pitch doing all sorts. He was backed up nicely by the ever-in-form Luke Millard with 26 as Haslemere scraped together 102/7. Honestly, on that wicket, not a bad effort at all.

Quick turnaround, terrible light, and with Brett and Imran bowling tight up top, the boys fancied their chances. Puttenham kept wickets in hand though and slowly crept towards the target while Tom Bacon tried to bounce everyone out with some sharp deliveries.

Unfortunately the skipper then decided to run underneath a catch… and shortly after brought himself on to bowl just to finish the game off early 👀

Puttenham eventually got over the line on 105/4 off 16.3 overs. Not quite the result we wanted, but a decent scrap considering the conditions 🌧️🍺 Well done lads!