Kel's Coaching

Quote of the week.....

Tame your inner critic part 2

1. Practice self compassion. When you notice the inner critic be kind to yourself and say what you would say to someone you deeply care about.
2. Move away from judgement, detach yourself from your inner critic, pretend you are in a helicopter and can fly high above the situation and voice of the inner critic, imagine being so far away you can no longer see or hear them.
3. Share your inner critic thoughts with someone else. You are not alone, we all have an inner critic to some extent. and realising you are not alone can be really comforting.

How could your inner critic impact your relationships?

1. You are not present.....you are too busy listening to your inner critic to be truly present.

2. You build an inaccurate perception of your relationships. Remember your inner critic is normally loud and harsh.

3. You fail to reach out for help. Your inner critic stops you asking for help when the people who care about you would love the opportunity to help you.

4. You struggle with close relationships. Your inner critic may be telling you that you don't deserve close relationships and you are not worthy of them. Is this really true?

Is your inner critic impacting your relationships? Do you want to develop better relationships? Do you want to quieten your inner critic once and for all?

Get in touch today and see how my coaching could be the thing you have been waiting for.

Top tips to tame your inner critic.......

1. Notice your thoughts........remember your inner critic is just a thought and may not be accurate.
2. Write down your repetitive inner critic statements. Check the language. The inner critic likes using words like always, never, should, and must. Write a more accurate statement instead.
3. Give your inner critic a name, choose a name that reminds you of someone who nags at you or you dislike in some way. Call it by it's new name and tell it to be quiet.

The Inner Critic............what's it like having an inner critic?

We all have an inner critic, a part of us that observes and evaluates all areas of our life. How do you know when your inner critic is having a negative impact on your life?

1. You receive constant negative thoughts which can distort how you perceive things.
2. It is constantly judging with hostility.
3. It persistently demands productivity.
4. Repeats old issues.
5. Has a loud and harsh voice.
6. Creates anxiety and tension.

Is your inner critic out of control, watch out for my mini series this week which will give tips to tame the critic and find inner compassion.

Quote of the week.........perfectionism!

Top tips to combat perfectionism.....part 2

1. Challenge your thoughts? Are they really true? What realistic thought could you replace it with?

2. Consider how a close friend or work colleague may approach the situation?

3. Think about what you would advise a work colleague or friend if they were having similar thoughts.

What's work like for a perfectionist?

Frustration at your high expectations not being met. This really gets to you. You can be highly critical of yourself and others. Perhaps you are a control freak. Maybe you work far too many hours. If you are a leader your team may find it hard to live up to your standards and disengage. You feel like you do everything yourself and perhaps you don't trust others to do it so it's easier this way.

What can you do if you believe this is you?

1. Awareness is always the 1st step

2. Consider what 1 small thing you can do differently, Rome wasn't built in a day. This is about making micro changes.

3. Get some advice from a peer. Chances are there will be someone who has been on a similar journey away from perfectionism and they may have some great ideas.

4. Find a coach or mentor who can guide you through this change.

Perfectionism......

It's a bit like a winding staircase that goes on and on and on and on. It's tiring, it never ends, and it impacts all areas of your life.

How do I help people with perfectionism?

Use my coaching techniques to get to the root cause of the issue.
Utilise my varied toolkit to stop the pattern of perfectionism.
Share a compelling goal method to create new helpful patterns.

Struggling with perfectionism?
Stuck on how to move forward?
Ready for a positive change?

Get in touch today, let's get this sorted!

Top Tips to combat perfectionism part 1

1. Realising that the drain and pressure of perfectionism is no longer for you
2. Identify your perfectionist tendencies and thoughts.
3. Focus on the positives and meaning of your work.
4. Practice gratitude and self acceptance.

Perfectionism! What's it like living with perfectionism?

1. You shrug off compliments

2. You forget to celebrate success

3. You are quick to find fault

4. You procrastinate

5. You set unrealistic expectations for yourself

6. You set unrealistic expectations for others

7. You look to specific people for validation

8. You see almost perfect as a failure

9. You beat yourself up when expectations are not met

10. You struggle to move on when things don't work out as you hoped

Does this sound like you? Could you be a perfectionist? Would you like to move on from perfectionism?

This week I will be posting hints and tips to help you with perfectionism and move forward from this draining mindset.