12/09/2026
**Holsworthy 3rds 5 – Northam Lions 1**
The lads put last week’s disappointment firmly behind them with a solid win at Stanhope Park.
The youth pitch was looking absolutely glorious too — testament to a lot of hard work over the summer on both town pitches 👌
Piper arrived late, leaving the lads unsure whether last week’s capitulation had finally tipped him into a full midlife crisis.
The Magpies drafted in a few grey hairs to bolster the young guns and it paid dividends. Darty’s calm talking and encouragement more than made up for his surprisingly poor ability to kick, tackle or head a football during the first half.
Veteran Carl Timmins was rolling not just baccy but *back the years*, looking assured throughout and, on occasions, almost athletic.
It was Uncle Richie Bore who really stood out playing up the hill though — tracking back, containing their talented No.10 and creating opportunities throughout the half.
It was, however, nephew Malih’s brave challenge on a lunging keeper that set up ‘Middle’ Piper for a tap-in to put the Mags 1-0 up.
The Lions had the bulk of possession shooting downhill and, despite a few slow challenges from the hosts, couldn’t find a way through Timmins and his young defence… plus Darty.
An impossible goal-line clearance from the son of Holsworthy’s ‘Ravanelli’ suggested that maybe, just maybe, today was going to be our day.
Bore then capped off a stellar first half with a blistering strike after politely suggesting that Piper might like to square the ball. Piper duly obliged.
A tad fortunate not to concede during the first half, but Bore and Piper had squeezed the best out of a hard-working Magpies side and put us in a strong position with the downhill leg still to come.
**Half-time: 2-0**
The second half started evenly, with Vile and Frost beginning to get on top of the Lions’ wingers and allowing us to enjoy more possession.
Malih got his reward for some excellent outlet play with a great solo goal which was **definitely not a cross**, despite what the haters may say. His celebration summed up the joy — and relief — of feeling that three points might finally be in the bag.
“Never concede straight after scoring.”
Apparently we haven’t covered that module yet.
3-1, and Piper Snr could feel the PTSD from last week beginning to rise.
This time, though, the boys had learned their lessons — and if there was any chance they hadn’t, Darty was going to teach them. A ten-minute display of pure will-to-win from the veteran snuffed out any thoughts the Lions might have had of a comeback.
The Waddle-like Piper held the ball up well throughout and eventually put the game to bed when sent through one-on-one.
The subs all came on and played with their heads. Isaac Disney, Dan Tape and Aydan Johnston won the important bits and pieces to help run the game down, while top dancer Rob Mitchell brought some control to the midfield.
Old man Brownjohn finished things off in style with a calm left-foot finish into the bottom corner.
Holness mostly spent the closing stages moaning about being substituted with 20 minutes to go — despite having played well and despite apparently having a huge game of Zimmer-frame football at Tintagel tomorrow.
Sausage and chips from renowned local chef **Jasone Joner** — said, of course, in a French accent — paired with a couple of Carlsbergs rounded off a cracking afternoon against a sporting and decent Northam outfit.
We also said goodbye to our half-Welsh local ref Rich Abbott, who is moving back to Dragonland.
Rich has been a great refereeing resource for the area over the past 12 years, conveniently based about a minute’s walk from the pitch. Always fair — *too fair in my book* 😆 — and, more importantly, a genuinely nice bloke. We wish him all the best for the move.
Home to High Bickington next week and a chance to go back-to-back.
At least Piper Snr was in a better mood after the game this week.
