Rest Reset

Every September there's a version of the same statistic doing the rounds, that just over half of secondary school pupils feel most anxious about returning to school after a holiday ('Marked Absent', Save My Exams and Tutorful).

What doesn't show up in that number is what happens at home once the anxiety kicks in. The dread creeps in on a Sunday night, mornings get harder to manage, and everyone in the house ends up carrying a transition that really only belongs to one child.

The part that helps isn't a pep talk on the morning itself, it's the groundwork done beforehand, a practice run of the walk to school, a visual countdown on the fridge, or just naming the wobble out loud so your child knows you've noticed it. None of that removes the anxiety, but it gives their nervous system something steady to hold onto while it settles.

If any of this sounds like your household right now, the Regulation Reset guide walks through more of this, and there's a link for it in my bio.

That itchy back to school feeling doesn't wait for September to actually arrive.
Swipe through and tell me if this is your house too

Here's what actually happened today. He stood on the back step in his pants, refusing to get dressed, and made you laugh so hard you had to sit down. There were ten good minutes on the trampoline before the row about screen time started. You were there for both. The perfect, easy day you keep picturing was never actually on offer, not this year. The real thing was always going to turn up messy, mixed in with the ordinary chaos, not sitting apart from it. Embrace the small moments and find joy when they find joy.

If you want a hand steadying the harder moments so you've got more headspace for the good ones, the Regulation Reset is free and it's exactly built for weeks like this.

Link in bio, or comment RESET.

If this week's had more wobbles than you expected, it's not you, and it's not them. All the invisible structure just disappeared overnight, and neither of you has had a chance to build new scaffolding yet. Swipe through for the why, then download the free Regulation Reset if you want a hand steadying the harder moments.

Comment RESET and I'll send it straight over.

Years of clinical training, and none of it quite prepared me for actually living this stuff out as a parent.

Swiping through what I knew in theory, as a social worker, coach and systemic practitioner, versus what living it as a mum of a toddler and a preschooler has actually taught me. Some of it still makes me laugh, some of it still catches me out.

None of this makes one way of parenting the right one. It just means the theory and the lived version rarely match up exactly, and that's worth being honest about.

Curious what fits your family? The free Regulation Reset Guide is a good place to start, link in bio.

Every parent in my inbox says some version of the same thing. They behave for the teacher, the grandparent, the swim instructor, and then they fall apart the second they see me. It feels like evidence that something is broken between us.

It is actually the opposite. Children save their biggest feelings for the person they trust most to still love them on the other side of it. That trust took time and consistency to build, and it did not happen by accident.

So if your child saves it all for you, that is not a red flag. That is the safest relationship they have.

If you want a tool to catch it before it tips over, the free guide The Regulation Reset walks you through exactly that. Link in bio to grab your copy.

Shouting is the only thing that stops him. You've said that sentence out loud before and hated yourself for it in the very same breath, because it feels like proof that you're failing as a parent. It isn't proof of that at all. It's proof that you're exhausted, that you're out of other tools in that exact moment, and that you love him enough for it to hurt this much when it happens.

In a free call with me, we're not going to focus on how to simply stop the shouting, because that was never really the point. We're going to look at what's happening underneath it, for both of you, so that you've got something else to reach for long before you ever get that far again.

If you want in, comment BOOK and I'll get you sorted with a spot.

You'll have heard some version of that sentence more times than you can count, usually from someone who has never once had to plan an entire school run around whether today is going to be a good day or a bad day. Here's what I want you to hear properly. Your child isn't a naughty version of someone else's easy child. They're a child who feels everything at full volume, and you are the one who has learned, day after day, how to hold that with them. That isn't something you should ever be judged for, and it certainly isn't something you should feel ashamed of. It's something you should be proud of.

If you're ready to feel a bit less alone in this, the new Regulation Reset guide was built with exactly you in mind. Link in bio to download your copy today.

Some days everything feels calm, then one small thing tips it all over. Losing it is not about being a bad parent, it is your nervous system tipping over the edge, and it can look very different from person to person.

The Regulation Reset is a free guide to help you understand what is actually happening in those moments, why you lose it, and what your child is experiencing too.

Instead of guessing your way through the next blow up, you will have a clearer picture of what is driving it, and a starting point for handling it differently.
You do not need to get it right every time. Small, steady shifts in how you respond can change the whole dynamic at home.

DM me RESET or click the link in bio to get your free copy of the guide.

Give yourself permission to lower the bar this summer. Shortcuts and slower days are not a compromise. They’re what gets everyone through.
Did this stat surprise you? 👇 Save this post for the next tough summer day, and share it with a parent who needs to hear this.