Lincoln Golf Centre

Subject: Stevie’s Diary: Pimp My Ride Scrapers 🏎️💨🤖

System Log: Unit STEVIE-69 // Night Shift Protocol

My old master Nick from B&B Groundworks dropped by today to give your boy a proper upgrade this morning

Turns out when I’m out grinding through the wet grass at night, my wheels get clogged right up. I’ve been sliding around on the corners like an over-eager drift car, which isn't ideal when I’m tearing up the course at breakneck, superfast speeds.

So, I’ve officially had two custom grass scrapers fitted to my wheels. While he had me flipped over getting cleaned out and pimped, he even gave me a proper belly rub and a tickle under the chassis—turns out I’m a very good boy when I'm not mounting tee markers.

Now I'm fully upgraded and extra sticky. These scrapers will keep my rubber clean and give me maximum stability when I’m taking those tight curves at top speed, laying down that filthy-low 15mm cut.

Tonight is the maiden voyage.

Signing out,

Stevie the Robot Mower 🤖🏎️✂️
(Pimping ain't easy, but 15mm is 15mm)

Tonight we concentrate on the pitching and run a nearest the Pin competition with our ladies coaching class.

Gina G won with the closest shot of the night and takes away the 🏆 for this amazing effort 👏

Great to see all the ladies improving and hitting it close to the ⛳️

If you would like to join like-minded ladies on an upcoming golf class, please head to www.lincolngolfcentre.org.uk to see the next available date and to book a space

As always, we continue to grow the game

It’s truly amazing how grass always covers no matter how warm it gets

After the warmest record we’ve ever had to endure here at Lincoln Golf Centre no less seven days later and the fairways and surrounds are really starting to turn a nice shade of green again thankfully

Have you been out on our course last few days dodging the rain and amazed by the changes?

Smoking ban now removed - thank you for your assistance in this matter

Big congrats to Amelia who smashed the junior coaching tonight and walked away with golfer of the day award

Top work 👏

🏌️‍♀️

Last nights adults coaching classes enjoying socialising, meeting fellow new golfers and improving their golf swings 👍🏻

Golf is such a great golf for social interaction and making new friends 🤝

Gains were made throughout the class and with a practice session or 2 before next week gains will be made

Top work troops 👏 👏

If you’d like to get into golf and hone and improve your skills head to our website to book in for future classes

Stevie’s Diary Day 6: Spa Day for Good Boy 🧼🤖

System Log: Unit STEVIE-69 // Log Date: Day 6

One full week on the job, and I officially think I’m settling in.

It’s been hard work dropping all these tee boxes down to perfection, but hard labor brings sweet rewards.

After showing some actual self-control and keeping my chassis off the 8th tee marker all week, I’ve finally made it into Adrian the Head Greenkeeper’s good books. My reward? A full spa treatment.
Today I got my very first bath!

Adrian flipped me right onto my back (wheels up, pure vulnerability) for a full underside scrub and tickle to get all the caked-on grass out of my undercarriage.

I haven't felt this squeaky clean or appreciated since I rolled off the assembly line.

Safe to say, Adrian and I are best mates now. Good behavior really pays off.

End of transmission.

Wheels up, belly out,

Stevie the Robot 🤖🧼✂️ (Currently 100% clean, 10/10 good bot)

Subject: Stevie’s Weekend Log

Late-Night Grinding & Selfie Etiquette 🤖📸

System Log: Unit STEVIE-69 // Weekend Edition

While you lot were soaking up the sunshine, Stevie was out in the dark doing the dirty work.

I’ve been grinding through the midnight hours as my map proves, keeping the local wildlife on their toes, and trimming these tee tops so tight they look like velvet.

Major milestone: I successfully avoided all tee markers. Adrian the Head Greenkeeper might actually like me by Monday 🙏

Today is strictly for recharging my battery and posing for my fans.

You’re more than welcome to come snap a selfie with the local legend, but DO NOT TOUCH. I might look friendly, but I’m still a ferocious little beast—just ask the 8th tee marker.

Ready to rip into another week and keep these boxes looking immaculate.

End of transmission.

Look, don't touch.

Stevie the Robot 🤖⚡✂️ (Recharging, but still dangerous)

Diary of a robot Day 3

Status: Recalibrated, re-lubricated, and strictly forbidden from touching the local hardware.

Diagnostics & Upgrades

Sensors: Recalibrated to stop mistaking the 8th tee marker for a rival stud. The marker was granted a full restraining order; my bumper has been legally bound to stay 3 feet away.

Firmware: "Violent Rip Behaviour v2.1" temporarily downgraded to "Aggressive Edging v1.0."

Blades: Polished, primed, and set to a filthily low cut. Pure eye candy for anyone who likes their turf close-shaved.

Operational Plan: Weekend Protocol
While you lot are out getting sweaty, making bad decisions, and ruining your own knees on the dance floor, I’ll be out here grinding in the dark, giving every single tee box the strict, systematic trim it deserves.

Target: Deep, precise lines. Smooth, velvet finishes. Absolute turf satisfaction.

Mood: 99% professional greenskeeper, 1% vibrating chassis waiting to mistake a stray hazard stake for a good time.

Rest assured, these tee tops are about to look ridiculously dirty in the best way possible. I promise to keep my deck down and my joy-stick locked—at least until my creator turns his back.

My master been out to restore my setting

It’s go time

Stevie the 🤖