Calvin Lunt

I have been feeling the pull to delete my social media.

Social media has been a huge part of my life ever since it began. From the AOL chat rooms, yahoo chat, MSN, MySpace, to Facebook and here instagram. I don’t even want to imagine how many of my life’s hours I have numbed out in cyberspace or thought about being online even when I’m off it.

Used correctly social media can be one of the best thing that ever came into our world, it helps us to connect with long lost friends, stay in touch with family and friends all over the world and Keeps us up to date with the ones we love. But I feel we have taken k it way too far. Over sharing, scrolling into the abyss, loss of power over suggestions, our privacy being invaded, addiction being so normalised and most of all the birth of the Mental health Epidemic!!

I lost my first friend at the age of 14 who hung himself with his PlayStation wire. Back then it felt so extreme to hear something of the sort, fast forward 15 years later and I no longer have enough fingers to count the amount of times I have witnessed more of these tragedies. Something is a miss, is it so boldly in our hands that we are choosing to ignore it. Are we fearful of what a world would look like disconnected.
Have we completely desensitised ourselves from the harsh realities of this world.
Are we allowing such platforms to corrupt our minds views and bombard our thinking with far too much information.
Is the human mind even capable enough to survive in such states.

Information is powerful! Too much information is damaging. What I have witnessed over the years is children getting smarter and in that process also seeing them loosing their wisdom. Is too much Information the cause of all these problems we are facing in todays society. Too much choice and a huge lack of structure.

What would the world look like if we focused more on what was around us rather than the entirety of the world.

What would life look like if we weren’t completely bombarded with 24hour news cycles; mainstream, local and even friends of friends gossip.

Would that feeling of comparing ourselves to the world around us slowly vanish and we would become more content with ourselves and our choices in life.

Would we spend more time with our family and friends.
Be more present and in the moment during those important times.
Would we feel more connected to the ones we love.

As someone who cares for mental well being I mustn’t care THAT much if I’m still participating in the most damaging space of human wellness.
Some will say “Calvin this is a little too extreme don’t you think”.
I think the world we are living in is a little too extreme.
In order for us to be at our best we need to learn to slow down, take breaks or even remove ourselves from the situations don’t you think?

TBC

Reflect and Relationship

As gay men we often grow up feeling unwanted, unloved, so far removed from the possibility of a healthy “normal” relationship. Maybe this is why so many of create unhealthy patterns when it comes to relationships and the idea of what love is.

All I ever wanted when I was growing up was to be in a relationship but I didn’t know how to be in one with myself. I would fantasise what being in a relationship was like with most men I met. Most of the gay men I met along my journey usually just wanted one thing, s*x. I knew deep down they wanted more but was afraid like most us to enter that space. “Please no more rejection, I can’t deal with being left alone”. Is this why most gay men find it easier to just F**k their way through life. It’s safer!

Now I always knew there was more than that so waited and waited, but while I thought I was waiting I was actually doing the work on self, building my own relationship, finding out what I liked, figuring out what it was I really wanted in the person I choose and learning what wounds where keeping me away from the potential of a loving relationship.

I met this beautiful man just at the right time. I was one year sober, I ended an unhealthy relationship and was so close to pressing the f**k it button and following suit of “I’ll just f**k my way to love”.
The universe had other plans for me.

We have been building our life together for nearly 3 years now, we are still learning one another (that never ends). We heal one another, we hold space, we disagree, we laugh, we stomp our feet at times, we communicate, we heal alone, we are open and honest even when it’s hard to and with all of this we always come back to love.

Thank you A for the love you bring and the space you hold for me. ✨

Sober and doing Holidays.

It’s moments like this I feel grateful for. I remember the holiday mornings of waking up to the room still spinning and usually a bucket of sick next to the bed and now my holiday mornings look like this.

Back in the days of drinking the first thing I would do when I stepped off the airplane would be to go straight the supermarket and get in my bottles for the trip. It’s very funny how we normalise our destructive behaviour once we’re on a holiday and how we usually return back home feeling worse than when we came. Needing a holiday after the holiday.

I remember my first holiday abroad sober and how my brain was wired to do all the automatics, it felt very strange learning a new way. Now saying that when I see people at the pool drinking their wine I sometimes have fluttering thoughts of “ooooo that looks great”. But I play the tapes forward and see what I would look like at 1AM after drinking in the sun all day and hardly eating any food. A MESS!

Now my holidays are HOLIDAYS. A time to relax, eat good food, sleep at a decent time, wake up with the sun, staying hydrated, working out, meditating, swimming in the seas, watching sunsets and most importantly Remembering what I paid for.

This isn’t something that just happened over night and my holiday routines of health and wellness keep deepening every time I go away. It’s moments like this I am grateful for. It’s times like this I feel alive and well in my body. This is the stuff that keeps me mentally well and helps build confidence in myself.

So to 1,442 Days of sobriety. THANK YOU ✨

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12150451/Man-reveals-lambasted-transitioning-siren-voices-online.html

Man reveals how he was lambasted for de-transitioning Calvin Lunt was in a hospital clinic discussing the timing of his breast construction surgery when he decided that after over two years wearing dresses and make-up, he no longer wanted to be a woman.

ANNOUNCEMENT
I’m so excited to share my news with you all. I will be releasing a podcast onto in the up coming weeks. This series tells the story of how I Became Woman to Become a Man.
This podcast touches on the brutally honest detailed building blocks that I believe made me do the things I done in life. I will be touching on subjects from childhood trauma, the foundations of my alcohol and drug abuse, s*xual assault, the shame of being a gay man and ultimately how being a Z lister was the tipping point of my mental health.

With all this being said I now need your help. I am asking for all the support I can get from friends, family and followers new and old. This is a great opportunity for me and will only work with your ears, shares and also thoughts on these topics.

Episode one coming V soon.

I am beyond over the moon to say that I have secured my first studio space in London where I will be teaching weekly classes. ✨