Gitanjali Trevorrow-Seymour

What is a Possiblist™?!

Whilst most are asking is the glass half full or the glass half empty. A Possiblist™ says wrong question….

The glass is full.

Full of water AND air.

One of them is invisible.

A Possiblist™ sees the invisible.

One part is where we normally look in uncertainty for answers.
The other part is quietly contributing without demanding any attention.

Most of life is shaped by things we can't immediately see: assumptions, patterns, potential, timing, courage, imagination.

The invisible has a remarkable habit of becoming visible the moment we start paying attention to it.

That is where possibility begins.

A small group of women decided I must have slept with someone senior to get the job.

And when I heard the rumour, a desperate voice inside me asked….

“Why would they think that?”

And my clever brain proceeded to fill in all the reasons why.

Because.. you have two unfinished degrees, you’re not smart, you’re a fraud. You’re not enough.

That’s insecure, habitual thinking in all it’s rapid response action.

BUT…The brain isn't a truth-seeking missile. It's a familiarity-seeking spaniel. It runs back to the nearest old story, drops it at your feet, and looks very pleased with itself.

The neuroscience is simple. The default mode network, the bit that lights up when we're ruminating, prefers a familiar feeling to a true one. Even when the familiar feeling is "I'm not enough."

BUT familiar does not equal fact.

And I know that the sick to my stomach feeling I had wasn’t coming from the gossip. It was coming from my thinking.

Not from the rumour. Not from those women. Not from the circumstance.

And the great news… If we’re in a feeling of our thinking not of our circumstance then that gives us the ultimate freedom.

Free to create our experience of life not be at the mercy of circumstance.

Our experience of life, of uncertainty, of change is an inside job. Always has been.

You’ll either read that and feel completely liberated or completely doubtful. You choose what comes next.

🔔 Follow Gitanjali | Chief Possiblist™ for a fresh take on Change, Mindset and Performance (spoiler: confidence not required). Get in touch for keynotes and executive coaching 🎤

🎥 For the full sordid story, my conversation with the brilliant Dominic Colenso is linked in the comments.

The one word I use more than any other, in keynotes, workshops, exec coaching is….

No, it’s not Possiblist™! It’s…

…Notice.

We spend alot of time in organisations taking notes. When we start taking notice, things change.

Change doesn’t begin with doing more. It begins with noticing more.

Noticing has the power to change everything.

Not because the moment we notice something our life magically transforms overnight.

But because most of us are living inside patterns we no longer question.

The same reactions.
The same emotional loops.
The same stories about ourselves, our children, our boss, our team.
The same familiar thoughts dressed up as facts.

We call it “just who I am.”
But often it’s just who we’ve practised being for so long we’ve forgotten that’s not all that is possible for us.

✦

You know I’m as obsessed with modern neuroscience as I am with ancient wisdom!

And one of the many fascinating things about the human brain is that it prefers the familiar over the possible.

Even when the familiar is exhausting.
Even when it’s limiting.
Even when it hurts.

Why? Because familiar feels safe.

So we stay inside thought patterns that shrink us.
We replay old insecurities like they’re documentaries instead of opinions.
We keep interpreting life through the same tiny window and wonder why change feels hard.

✦

Awareness is powerful because once we see through the false logic of an old pattern, we can see something fresh.

The old behaviour no longer feels automatic.
The old narrative no longer feels entirely true.
The old version of us or of ‘them’, starts loosening its grip.

Not through force.
Not through shame.
Not through “fixing” ourselves.

But through 'Conscious Choice' as I talk about it in the book.

✦

Growth through uncertainty is not about becoming someone new.

It’s noticing what was never truly you to begin with.

✦

Less notes, more noticing today, I dare you.

I wonder what you’ll see differently as a result.

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🔔 Follow Gitanjali | Chief Possibilist™ for a fresh take on Change, Mindset & Performance (spoiler: confidence not required).

🎤 Keynotes | Executive Coaching | Transformational Conversations

We’ve built an entire industry around a problem that might not exist.

Confidence.

Too little? Build it before taking action.
Too much? Tone it down before speaking.
Lost it? Find it before anyone notices.

Watch it carefully… like a sour dough starter (having never made sour dough but I hear it's tough!)

It’s the only game where the target keeps moving-
and somehow, we’re always the ones who need adjusting.

Sitting in rooms where “confidence” is the diagnosis.
Downloading frameworks. Rehearsing sentences.
Waiting to feel ready before we move.

(Still waiting, by the way.)

But here’s the slightly inconvenient thought:

What if confidence is just… a con?

A beautifully packaged distraction
that keeps us focused on fixing ourselves-
instead of noticing that nothing fundamental was missing in the first place.

Because underneath the noise, the overthinking, the mental commentary…
there’s something far more stable than confidence.

Something that doesn’t rise and fall
based on how the meeting went
or how stupid we sounded in hindsight.

And it’s already here. For all of us.
Not when we’ve earned it. Not when we’ve perfected it.
Just… here, now.

A knowing we can trust regardless of the state of our sourdough/confidence!
A knowing that isn't esoteric.
It arrives not with a loud certainty but a clear curiosity. A sense of courage.

So let’s test it.
What's one thing you've been quietly postponing until you feel confident enough?

Now instead ask: What am I genuinely curious about when I think about that one thing?
Follow that, trust that.

And let's ban the word confidence from now on.
Replace it with curiosity and courage and let's see what we see differently from that place.

Shall we?

🔔 Follow Gitanjali | Chief Possiblist™ for a fresh take on Change, Mindset and Performance (spoiler: confidence not required). Get in touch for keynotes and executive coaching 🎤

My answer when Dom asked me this somewhat surprised me!

Because I used to LIVE in the *regret machine*. You know the one…

“I should have said yes.”
“I should have said no.”
“I should be further along by now.”

Round and round. For years. Churning out 'shoulds' left, right and centre.
I was, frankly, prolific. If only I'd been this productive at literally anything else.

In Possibilist™ Land we have a technical term for this: "Should-ing all over yourself"

👉 Stop should-ing all over yourself. It’s a filthy, dirty habit.

Because what I see clearly now is:

Should isn’t wisdom. It’s noise.

It sounds true. It feels real.
It's not.

At best it's an innocent reminder to self:

"I should have picked up milk last night" (literally me this morning!)

At worst it's putting us on trial for a past that no longer exists:

"I shouldn't have lost my patience" (literally me this morning!)

Either way - it robs us of this moment, now.
And the moment we notice, the machine quiets.

Not everything that didn’t land was a mistake.
Not everything that got away was meant to stay.

Sometimes… it simply wasn’t part of this version of our story.

Same life.
Very different intelligence in the room.

PS: My newsletter peeps get a Possiblist™ Experiment to stop shoulding. 12:05pm today. Join in here: http://highdefinitionyou.com/join-our-community/

🔔 Follow Gitanjali | Chief Possiblist™ for a fresh take on Change, Mindset and Performance (spoiler: confidence not required). Get in touch for keynotes and executive coaching 🎤

There’s something quite extraordinary about stepping into a TEDx space.

Not just the stage…
but the people.
The conversations in between.
The energy that sits quietly behind every idea waiting to be shared.

Because what you don’t always see are the moments before and after—
the deep breaths,
the unexpected connections,
the laughter in corridors,
the shared understanding that every single person there
is holding something that matters.

For me, it’s never just about delivering a talk.

It’s about being in a room full of possibility.
Where stories are not just told…
they’re felt.

Where ideas don’t just land…
they ripple.

And where you’re reminded—
that when people come together with openness and intention,
something shifts.

Not just on the stage,
but far beyond it.

Grateful to have been part of this experience.



🔔 Follow Gitanjali | Chief Possiblist™ for a fresh take on Change, Mindset and Performance (spoiler: confidence not required). Get in touch for keynotes and executive coaching 🎤