Baiba Megi

Looking back at 2020...

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 I spent lots of time with my kids. And my normally missing at work husband. I think last time we spent this much time together with him was 15 years ago. Pre lockdown we even managed to squeeze in an extraordinary stay at Claridge’s and dancing at the Ritz!
👯‍♂️I connected with friends online from all over the world THANKS to our offline limitations
💲reached what I once believed was a crazy investment portfolio goal DESPITE the 2020 stock market dive and working and investing LESS
✈️ Before and in between lockdowns we visited Canary Islands, Portugal and Spain and traveled locally to Devon and Kent
🎾 With gym closures, I upped my game in tennis and ran my first 5K
🏠 I minimized time spent on household/logistics with cleaning help, online grocery shopping, virtually no kids activities. And significantly relaxing my standards.
📖 graduated from life coaching training and started serving clients all over the world; took several personal development courses, a 3 month mastermind and other professional training courses.

Despite 2020 being challenging, but really - thanks to it - I’ve had a pretty amazing year.

How was your 2020?
Have you kept focus on what matters?
With the usual distractions gone, has 2020 felt like a waste or a transformation?
What takeaways are you bringing into 2021?

I have availability for the last 3 coaching clients at my reduced, original “student” rates. If you’re interested to try, please reach out for a complimentary intro session 🤗

Last December I was flying home sandwiched between two runners discussing highlights of their running experience.
I couldn’t relate. I’m not a runner. Isn’t running a love or hate thing? I recall feeling like I was about to vomit after running in school gym classes. A definite no go for me.
As I was listening to my new acquaintances, it sounded like they were discussing an exciting quest in the parallel world, full of prep and marathons in exotic places and runners highs.
At that point I decided that instead of my classic boring goal to loose 5 pounds I’ll set a goal to prep and run 5k.
And this morning I finally did. It took 12 months 😅 of training and bailing and training again and bailing again. Of feeling anything from near vomit to surprisingly enjoying it. I have to thank lockdown 1.0 and 2.0 and closed gyms for actually pushing through the prep program with
The coach in my ear confessed that he thought he wasn’t a runner either. But he kept going. Gradually, instead of “I’m not a runner”, he started asking himself - how can he USE running?
Our identities are just stories we tell ourselves. Why not question them? Why not make it a fun adventure - seeing what’s the most exciting story that you can think in your head for yourself and see it materialize?

QUIET OVERWHELM

Is it stars, is it time of the year, is it the cumulative weight of covid, but it feels like a simmering overwhelm is the new normal.

When I left the US, I made a conscious choice to also leave a full time job. For the first time in 20 years, I wasn’t fully booked with work, house stuff, kids, the classic. It felt like I was reborn into a totally different person.

But - you can take the girl out of the NYC/rate race and move her to a quiet village-like London and dammit - plate spinning is BACK.

A laid back temp gig turns into an unexpectedly emotional near full time job, throw in a coaching program and practice start up, kids (hello, secondary school applications), 2 mastermind groups, 9-week self-development training, peer to peer coaching with an NGO startup idea, ambitions in hobbies, sports...🤦‍♀️

So how do you cope??

One of my favorite emergency brakes is reading something so enlightened and otherworldly that the daily nonsense starts to feel like dust on top of a high forgotten shelf. Which is what I did today. 20 minute pause. Buddhist book. Friday evening Starbucks, about to close.

Another hack - I envision myself as light in outer space, trillions of miles away from Earth, watching it all like a reality show happening on a small blueish ball. How fascinating! 🙃

Excerpt from today’s book: “In a dream, if you recognize that what you’re experiencing is just a dream, then you also recognize that whatever you experience is merely occurring in your own mind. Recognizing this, in turn, frees you from the limitations of “dream problems”. The dream continues but recognition liberates you from whatever pain your dream scenarios present. In the same way, in waking life, transcending the distinction subject and object is equivalent to recognizing that whatever you experience is not separate from the mind that experiences it. Waking life doesn’t stop, but your experience of it shifts from one of limitation to one of wonder and amazement.”

In short, it’s all in our head 👽

How do you cope these days?!

Ask yourself the following questions and write down your answers ✨

❤️ What do I love most about life?
🎯 Do I give what I love most the focus and priority that I want to?
⏳ What 3 actions will I take to give myself more time to prioritize doing what I love?

It’s 3 am when I’m calling it quits and pause the video.

The house is quiet. I almost have second wind and wonder if I should keep going.

But then I remember the hangoverish feeling that I get when I don’t get enough sleep - I don’t even have to drink! 😏- and give up.

Tomorrow is the weekly call with my coaching accountability buddy where each of us have had our weekly, self-inflicted, homework to do. Usually it is about committing to doing something that you wouldn’t otherwise have the willpower to do quickly/voluntarily/easily yourself.

Every week I commit to going through a study module in my coaching program. And every week it’s literally hours before my accountability call that I intensely cram it all in, like on the eve of uni exams... nothing has changed 😅

Before I had these calls, I could spend weeks, even months, on a study module - ‘cause who’s watching? 🙄🤦‍♀️

It’s silly how I’m motivated by an artificial external obligation where the entire coaching endeavor in the first place has been about becoming more myself, for no reason other than pursuing some inner knowing.

Yet it works. So simple, predictable, effective. When I was a coaching client myself, those homework assignments were dreadful and exciting at the same time. They would push me to act more quickly, decisively, outside of the comfort zone. I wouldn’t have done most of them if not for this promise, given to a co-conspirator, who will be checking in with me in a week’s time. How can I let both of us down?!

If you are stuck with an aspiration, a yearning, a project that you can’t seem to move forward with, promise to take a few steps to somebody else who’s going to check in with you by a certain deadline. Pay them a fine if you don’t act 🤪 Or reach out to me if you’d like to gain momentum on an important matter with me as your accountability partner in crime 💪

I love playing with people out of my league.

Today I was back on the tennis court after a long break, flustered and kicked around by more experienced players 🤪

Our tennis coach pushed me exactly in ways I need, teaching to play more freely, boldly, aggressively, taking up more space on the court.

Have stubbornly bought a tennis racket for advanced players, childishly passing by the beginner and intermediate sections 😬

If I’m comfortable for too long, I get bored to death 🥱😴

What about you? Do you throw yourself into challenging environments? In what areas of life? @ Southfields/Wimbledon

She’s talented, original, funny, an aspiring performer. But full of limiting self-talk and self-doubt.

Years, actually decades, go by and, while she’s taken steps towards her dream of working on stage, she keeps finding reasons ‘beyond her control’ holding her back.

Her mindset, fears and limiting beliefs keep her on the bench, watching others, less impressive performers, playing the game.

Bench is a gloomy and depressing place. It’s only logical that she is NOT feeling like taking massive action towards her goal. The result - a vicious cycle, proving to herself she’s ‘right’.

Coaching builds awareness around such inner narrative and the needs met through the thought patterns and behaviors. It helps client find their higher intent and healthier vehicles to meet their needs.

Ultimately, coaching helps you become an EXPANSIVE THINKER who is open, compassionate and curious towards herself and others. That alone is a stepping stone to a much higher quality of life.

But it’s not enough. Coaching also supports you in becoming an ACTION TAKER.

As your thinking starts to shift, a coach guides you to take deliberate unstoppable action. To inch forward, day by day, from the bench into the playing field.

Sign up for free intro session if you’d like to give it a try⛹️‍♀️

An easy lazy way to generate ideas

Short version: Lay down. Do nothing. For about 60-90 minutes. Listen to nothing. Watch nothing. Receive no external stimulus. Hide your phone in another room. Don’t go anywhere. Just be with yourself with no distractions. Scribble down your incoming ideas.

A longer version.

Being with yourself with no content streaming at you, no blabber to listen to, no tasks to accomplish, no chores or talking to do is a weird experience. I mean when have you last done NOTHING, listened to NOTHING, watched NOTHING, said NOTHING for more than a few minutes? As you lay there, random thoughts start streaming in and, at first, it’s all daily murmurs about some logistics, to-dos, the noise. You keep laying. Gradually, in the midst of the noise, a thought may surprise you. It’s not your every day thought, your usual ponderings. It’s different. It’s about doing something in a new way, or an unexpected answer to a question long asked and left alone, or a radically new idea that you never knew you needed.

As you keep laying there and light bulbs keep turning on, the challenge is to remember them and quickly jot them down on a piece of paper.

Yesterday I was in an acupuncture session, my forced do-nothing environment. I lay there immobile in a dark room, covered in needles. Often I fall asleep, but this time I stayed awake and couldn’t believe the number of ideas that came to me. Other people experience similar surges in creativity when they simply walk - with no phone, no podcasts, no content, just walking for an hour or two with nothing happening but putting one foot in front of another. Nothingness is the key.

What do you think? When do your light bulb ideas come?

In the spirit of walking the talk and diving before I’m ready, I launched a website and a blog last night! 🎉

Scribbled in random moments between work, dinners, bedtimes, laundry 🤪

Would love you to check it out and give me any feedback you have ❤️

Coaching | London | Baiba Megi Baiba Megi online and group coaching professional London for achievers perfectionists creatives non-profits United Nations