07/10/2026
One year ago today...
This time last year, I had just come out of surgery after having my mastectomy.
This photo was taken the following morning — jazz hands and all 😹 — in the private room I unexpectedly ended up in when they ran out of beds.
I’ve spoken before about how much this has taken out of me. I’m still adjusting what I expect of myself and what I’m capable of.
I’m getting used to a body that looks, feels and performs differently. Sharing photographs and videos of myself can be hard. This isn’t because of the scars, femininity or even having a wonky breast — and I’m certainly not fishing for reassurance about how I look.
It’s about judgement: looking at the outside and comparing it with what I think I SHOULD look like, SHOULD be able to do, or who I was before, rather than what’s happening inside.
I can look well and have very little energy. I can look fit and have lost so much strength. I can smile for a photograph and still feel sick and exhausted.
How a body looks tells you very little about how it feels or functions for the person living in it.
Two weeks ago I was in Spain running Ignite Within. Our theme was Notice → Understand → Apply → Integrate. And sometimes applying what we’ve noticed and understood means adapting.
It turned out I needed it just as much as my clients did. It was a godsend, and I absolutely love running these retreats.
I’d planned to share the retreat as it happened, but quickly recognised I didn’t have capacity for both. The people in front of me were always the priority, so social media could wait.
The posts are still waiting and nobody died because I didn’t post them 😹
I’m a work in progress. I’m still very good at making plans based on the energy I think I SHOULD have rather than the energy I actually have. But even baby steps count.
I’m constantly practising what I teach: noticing, understanding, applying, adapting and integrating.
I’m still learning, still adapting and incredibly grateful to be here.
And because I will always say it: KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. If something doesn’t feel right, get it checked. Getting checked saved my life.
One year on 💜
Bx
Movement with purpose. Understanding for life.