Deborah Southgate

Webgains are one of my corporate clients that I work with as a coach and mentor, so I was really excited to join them for an episode of their podcast which was focused on personal growth.

We had a really interesting discussion about the challenges of imposter syndrome and overcoming self-doubt when trying to move forwards in your career.

Links to listen to and watch the podcast here:

YouTube: https://youtu.be/5QmM7HqJ_V0
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0WZRQMGEQpzGwgWDnWN74u?si=2e474254506b47c4

Rising Together: Why Personal Growth Fuels Our Affiliate Network Listen to this episode from Thinking Forwards on Spotify. Welcome to another episode of "Thinking Forwards" by Webgains where we dive deep into the pulse of the affiliate channel industry. In this episode, our UK MD Alona Malinovska (host), our COO, Ami Spencer (panellist), and mentor and personal c...

FREE 2024 goal setting pack!

If you’re thinking about setting some goals for 2024 then I’ve decided to share my own personal goal setting templates as a free download.

Fill in your name and email on the homepage of my website (link in bio, or go to deborahsouthgate.com) to get access.

Take small, imperfect steps CONSISTENTLY.

That’s how real change happens.

Imperfection is part of this. Bad days (bad weeks even!) can be part of this.

Consistency doesn’t mean always being perfect.

Consistency means going back to basics. So if you fall off track, you get back on to the track. And you keep coming back to that track.

But consistent application of the same steps, however well or badly done is where progress happens. And once you start to see results of your actions, you’ll be more motivated to continue.

Start small, start imperfectly, just start.

Everyone has beliefs about yourself and the world around you. Sometimes however these beliefs can get in the way of you moving forwards with the things that would be good for you.

If your beliefs are stopping you from doing the things that you want to do, then it’s time to address them.

You can change these beliefs and replace your thinking.

This is how to go about changing them:

1. Establish where they came from and how they were set – this helps you see why they are there.
2. Consider other ways to look at the situation where they were set. What else could be the truth?
3. How has this belief affected you? Get clear on why it’s not useful, or not helpful.
4. Why might this belief be wrong? Why might something else be true instead?
5. How could you alternatively re-frame this belief a different way – in a way that’s helpful and useful to you?
6. What evidence do you have, or will you go and create to support that the new belief is true?
7. What action will you now take?

Don’t let limiting beliefs stop you from achieving the things that you want!

This is what I believe in, how I approach the decisions I make in my life and what I’m proud to align myself to ❤️

That’s not to say that sometimes I don’t get distracted from it! From time to time I can go off-course with aligning my habits and plans with this North Star ⭐️ . But the good thing about being clear on my beliefs and values means that when I feel a bit off-course I can go back and remind myself of what’s important to me – and that will always steer me back on the right track ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Having a core value that I align with is both motivational and gives me clear guidance when I make choices about getting up early to exercise, saying no to the chocolate treat or deciding whether to invest my money in that trip I really want to take.

Ultimately, we don’t know how long we have in this lifetime. So my belief is that we should all look after our health with the intent of being here a very long time – but look after our happiness, and our sense of fulfilment in our lives like we may not. Because you just don’t know.

And deep down, I also believe that one serves the other – if we live a happy and fulfilled life, chances are we’ll be in the best condition possible to live a healthy one.

You can doubt yourself, be terrified, feel like you’re not good enough – and STILL be successful and achieve what you want. These things are not opposites to each other – they can all co-exist together.

Don’t let fear be the thing that stops you from moving ahead with something that scares you.

It doesn’t matter what it is – if it scares you and interests you, then it’s a challenge. And it doesn’t matter whether you think it wouldn’t be difficult to someone else, if it’s difficult for you then it can be scary.

But we can all feel fear and still proceed. We can do things imperfectly and still be successful. We can start small, and slowly and build up to where we really want to be. It is possible.

If you’d like support with your next challenge in life, then get in touch, I’d love to talk to you. I offer a free 30 minute call for people who are interested in a coaching package.

Today is World Mental Health Day. The theme this year is: Mental Health is a universal human right.

Mental health, as defined by the World Health Organization (WHO), is a state of well-being in which an individual realizes their abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and is able to make a contribution to their community.

It is not merely the absence of mental disorders - Good mental health is an integral part of our overall health and wellbeing. Good mental health allows us to cope with challenges, connect with others and thrive throughout our lives.

According to the WHO, 1 in 8 people globally are living with mental health conditions, which can impact their physical health, their well-being, how they connect with others, and their livelihoods. In the UK this year, 1 in 4 will be affected by a mental health condition.

If you are concerned that you are developing a mental health problem then seek help from a doctor as a matter of priority.

There are also a number of organisations that can help – the Samaritans (116 123 – calls are free), Mind (0300 123 3393), Anxiety UK (03444 775 774).

It’s ok to ask for help.

Coach or Mentor? How do you know which one you need? There’s no right and wrong answer, and neither is better than the other, they’re just different.

A coach’s job is to ask you the right / difficult / different questions to support you in seeing a challenge in-depth and looking at it from different angles – which ultimately helps you to come to your own conclusions. They will then support and keep you accountable to doing what you need to in order to get where you want to go.

A mentor will do the above, but also bring their experience, skills and wisdom to the table to guide (and where necessary advise) you on how to go about doing what you want to do.

Often people go into a relationship with a coach thinking they’re getting a mentor. They can then feel frustrated at just being asked questions, but not being given any guidance.

Equally (and this is most often seen in the workplace) mentors can sometimes become too advisory, which can prohibit the mentee from formulating their own thinking and get the most from the experience.

Both Coaching and Mentoring can be greatly beneficial to helping you move forwards with a challenge that you have.

The best coach OR mentor is someone you feel comfortable with – someone you feel you can trust and be open with. So chat with them before you start working with them to see how you feel.

If you’re looking for someone who will act sometimes as a mentor as well as a coach to you, then do the above, but also make sure that you feel they have that additional level experience, wisdom and/or skill to be able to give you the right GUIDANCE on how best to move forwards.

When I meet potential clients I talk through what they’re looking for so that we can both agree on whether coaching or mentoring is more appropriate. And if the expertise required for mentoring is not an area of expertise for me, then I explain this so that they’re clear how I can support them.

Make sure to have this conversation in an open way if you’re looking to find a coach or mentor to support you, so that you’re both clear on what the expectation is.

When we’re trying to do something new or difficult, we don’t always get it right or perfect.

The main thing is that we TRY.

If we try – even if we get it wrong – then we can learn from that.

And once we learn, we can refine our approach and try again.

This is how we learn to do anything new. Whether it’s the first time we learn to drive, the first time we try a new sport or the first time we try to cook a new meal. This is how progress happens.

So don’t worry about waiting for perfection (it won’t arrive on it’s own). Just make a start, and use it as a learning experience.