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Just a tad triggering forgot this was today.
Epsom Derby Leroy D Joseph favourite race coz it was around his birthday.
A whole 9 years ago when we went to it and the following day he fell seriously ill and ended up in hospital for 4months
Then I nursed him at home for next 12months and then over the next 6months he returned to work.
I had an extra 9 years of the wonderful person he was and I was so lucky to have him as my husband 💙
Leroy why did you have to follow the light so early where I cant go yet...
Im so very sad and confused with life 😞
Miss you so much love Lou ❤️ 😍

💔💔🌈🌈🌈💔💔💔🌈🌈💔💔

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3 seater slim blue fabric sofa £50 - barley used in nearly new condition and leather bedframe kingsize (slight damage to one foot ) bed frame is in very good condition £150 collection only pm me for more info @

My Angel 😇

120 days since we spent the full day together and seeing our Grandkids.
Now all I have left is this memorial of you and memories....

Everyone talks about you which I love and people send photos all the time of memories.

All I feel is overwhelming sence of hurt, loss and unknown future.
I miss us so much Leroy D Joseph
Why were u robbed so early from me.
We had so many plans
Im trying to do stuff...
I went out alone last night to see the story of the Dubliners which was brilliant but I cried through most of it.
You would normally be holiday my hand during the show... I missed that
I MISS you so much darling 😢 💔💔

Week 2... of pilates and lymphatic drainage. Tonight was tough...
But its not stopped me...

I pushed myself yesterday to leave the house, it was so freaking hard...
Everyday is such hard work...
I have memories of the day it happened replaying daily.
Nightmares starting now, as well.

Wow your Brain is so cruel..when you want to try and live life...stand tall...it hits you...replaying the whole horrible episode...
Everything i watch on TV either is to much to happy to fulm on or too deep...
I watched prisoner and it was a really hard watch for me...it was really good but...I was glad when It finished 🙂‍↕️
I can't explain, I dont understand...

So all I can do is take 1 min, of 1hour, daily and just try and move through the day good or bad.
I've put stuff in my calendar coz Leroy D Joseph would want me to but I don't want to...im just moving through the month the year.... the s**t year..

The year I lost my right arm, my best friend, my soulmate in a blink of a eye.
Then my world turned upside down and here I am 😭😢😥 lost....

Today I decided to venture out on my own.
All my children were busy and friends so it was time to pull up my big girl pants and try and do something me and Leroy D Joseph would of done together... it was horrible (for me anyway) its was busy and stalls were good and the music, people were having fun
But for me it was awful, i felt like everyone was looking at me, saying look at her ( I know they weren't) but I just felt like that.
I went out today with good intentions but came home quiet down and distraught.
I cooked my belly pork and made pork crackling.
So this day is over thank goodness...
Back to work... its the only thing that takes my mind off this life im in right now

Bethany Birthday

This beautiful young lady I can call, proudly MY Daughter......
How lucky am I.❤️💕💕💕💕💕

She is so kind😘 very very patient (unlike me lol) strong, thoughtful, clever, loyal and an amazing mummy ❤️ 💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️💙❤️
All the qualities you want in Daughter.
WOW Bethany Louise Davidson just want to wish you a very very very
Happy birthday today 🎂 😊
See you later and this weekend for some girlie time 😍
Lots of love Mummy and Heavenly Leroy D Joseph. He was and would be immensely proud of you 👏 # # # # # #

The last 9 weeks have been some of the hardest moments of my life....since you pasted Leroy D Joseph. At times I've wanted to just follow you.....
During this period of time I also had my check up for the dread and today I got my results and im Cancer FREE for another 6months.
Nobody realises how waiting for checkup then the check up then waiting on an answer.
Unless u have been there.💔 🦋
Thanks Leroy for watching over me.👼
I have to watch our Grandkids grow up before I check out so you will have to wait a bit longer baby.
Love you always 💓

Wow this was 5 years ago 👀

This just got real
Omg

I'm an author and I'm going to be sharing my story to help other
Yeah and raising money in the process for

Sorry not sorry this is part of my Grief story 💔💔💔

In 2021, about to be part of a book launch that I wrote a story in this book about my inner child.
Where I forgave my past and healed through writing my story.
I'm so grateful to of accomplished this amazing thing in my life.
We hit number 1 on the Amazon.

When I school, I was The one that struggled. Couldn't read aloud... couldnt finish anything, couldnt concentrate couldn't be me. I found school a really bad 👎 time In my life.

Since school I've brought up three amazing grown up children that individually have achieved lots and im so proud of them all😘 I still miss the 2 angel babies 👶.

Then when the children were older I started work at Manchester Airport where I eventually became a manager.(proud moment)

I moved onto to other types of security and met Leroy D Joseph moved to London, we travelled and travelled with businesses or just for fun.living life to the fullest.

Then I got the dreaded Big C 😪🫩👎in April 2024.
Between the Menopause, Arthritis, Fibro,what i thought was dyslexia iin my earlier life is probably ADHD.
I had my thyroid removed which had 5 cancers on it.
Life without a thyroid is damn hard let me tell you.
Leroy said let's move north...be around your family more.
We did, I worked in care for over 1 years which I loved but the hours are dreadful. I had to change my direction of work. January this year was due to start a new job in a pharmacy.
I spent just over 1 year 😪 up north with my beautiful husband Happy.
But when that dreaded day came on the 21/01/2026 life stopped
My world 🌎 changed forever 💔💔✋️🛑 work waited ✋️
So in February I've started slowly a 30hour contract for my health. Wow it's difficult learning something new when your in constant pain and grief.
But now 5 years on from when I wrote my story
WOW what my life looks like now 🙃
I'm not sure how the story goes on right now or what im gonna do...
Physically im in pain most of the time. I'm flooded with Grief all the time....
I learning a whole new me.
In 2 weeks Myself and Leroy and Ben and Billy were due to go on a canaries cruise... This is going to be very difficult for me knowing Leroy should be wit