Katie Leefe - ND Coach

What's "that Friday feeling" like when you're neurodivergent?

For me, it's the internal click-relief of turning off the 'translator' dial inside my head. Permission to be the me that I am when no one is looking.

There's a level of exhaustion that comes with a full week of translating how your brain works into the right format, the right tone, the right level of detail. And doing it all within the right response time.

Neurotypical colleagues are tired from the week. You're tired from the week AND from performing a version of yourself that fits it.

And for many of the amazing women and enbies I work with, that dial doesn't get turned off for long. There's family responsibilities, house stuff to sort, fun social things that still require a level of masking.

In a world that doesn't let you stop, how are you supposed to find your feet? Take a breath? Make space just to be you?

That's what ND-informed coaching is. Time each week just for you, entirely, with someone who gets it.

I have a few spaces this month. For members of this group: 3 sessions for £120 (£40 per session) using code FROG at checkout.

Why FROG? Well, you'll have to ask :P

Not everything that feels awful is burnout.

Sometimes it’s burnout. Sometimes it’s a lack of buffer.
Sometimes the systems around you simply aren’t aligned with how your brain actually works.

The problem is that we often apply the wrong response.

We try to optimise systems when we need rest.
We push for resilience when we need insulation.
We blame ourselves when the issue is coordination, not capacity.

Getting the label right matters, because the fix is different in each case.

Otherwise, we just keep turning the same handle and wondering why nothing changes.

In that sense, the wrong response can slowly make things worse.

The moment I told ChatGPT that I'm neurodivergent, it changed. And not in a good way.

"You're not broken."
Who said I was?

"Let's try and post once per week as a stretch goal."
Erm, let's not? I like writing and posting; I was asking for best times to post for my audience.

"That's enough for today. Sleep. You've earned some rest."
It's 10am and I asked for Linkedin 2026 cadence trends.

The implicit messages here are concerning, and they remind me of the 2025 study that found Generative AI recommended women to negotiate for lower salaries and different benefits packages than men. (https://zurl.co/DaYXv )

Are ND men experiencing this? Is it different if you disclose a different disability, or a different neurodivergence?

If you're tempted to criticise me for using ChatGPT in the first place, I completely get that, but that is a different topic. I welcome all feedback, but please read my previous post on that subject here first: https://zurl.co/TuyWx

#aiforgood #assistivetechnology #entrepreneurlife #disabilityinclusion #workingwithyourbrain #actuallyautistic #adhdcommunity | Katie Leefe ☺️ | 88 comments Hot take. If you’re neurodivergent and need it, use AI to assist you. If you’re neurodivergent and need it, use AI to assist you. If you’re neurodivergent and need it, use AI to assist you. And honestly, it’s not even a hot take. Tepid at best! The working world isn’t built for neurodiverg...

One of the hardest things to explain is how much energy goes into coping well.

Looking fine on the outside.
Keeping things running.
Absorbing the friction so nothing spills.

From the outside, it can look like competence.
From the inside, it often feels like constant self-negotiation.

That quiet drain adds up.

Not because someone is fragile, but because the system depends on them compensating all the time.

Eventually, something gives.
Usually the person.
Media Source: https://zurl.co/hU4Kx Photo by luckylili33 on Pixabay

January is a weird month for ND nervous systems.

Too many “fresh start” expectations, not enough dopamine to power more than a slow blink.

So today’s 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐖𝐢𝐧 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐲 is the 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐖𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐄𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

Tiny wins to help ease you back into functional life without scaring your brain back under the covers.

All under 30 seconds.
Pick one or do them all.
You’re allowed to go gently.

𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐖𝐢𝐧 𝟏 – 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐚𝐛 𝐀𝐦𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐲
Close ONE tab that you know you opened before Christmas and have no intention of ever revisiting.
Instant relief. Zero consequences.

𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐖𝐢𝐧 𝟐 – 𝐄𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐥 𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐞
Open your inbox
Mark one email as “done”.
Archive it or leave it where it is.
But mentally release it from your soul.
Yes, this counts.

𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐖𝐢𝐧 𝟑 – 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐫 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤
Look at one event in January.
Ask: “Do I 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 need to attend this?”
If the answer is “hmm… probably not”, quietly delete it.
Your future self will adore you.

𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐖𝐢𝐧 𝟒 – 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐤𝐞-𝐎𝐟𝐟
Put both hands on your chair, push down, and stretch your spine for three seconds.
Your nervous system calls this: micro-regulation.
Your body calls this: THANK YOU.

𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐖𝐢𝐧 𝟓 – 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐒𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠
Ask yourself:
“What is the tiniest possible version of productivity I can manage today?”
Drink water?
Reply to one message?
Put on socks?
That’s enough.
Seriously.

Tiny wins spark momentum, and momentum is what makes everything else feel possible.

If you want more ND-friendly mini wins, plus timely ND news and a practical tool or resource in every issue, my newsletter The Penguin Pebble might be your new favourite end-of-week reset.

Link in the comments.

One reason the early stages of burnout are so hard to spot in high-achieving neurodivergent people is that nothing actually stops working.

You’re still functional.
Still delivering.
Still relied on.

So the only place the strain shows up is inside.

The difference facets of life (work, home, health) keep assuming the same output, the same pace, the same recovery, even when the conditions have changed.

So, over time, that mismatch creates a subtler kind of damage: not collapse, but constant, exhausting self-correction.

Pushing yourself to remember things that used to stick.
Recovering from days that used to be neutral.
Managing fallout that didn’t used to exist.

That effort is invisible from the outside.
Which is why, when the mask cracks later, it gets misread as “not trying hard enough”.

If you’ve been struggling to explain why life feels harder without being able to point to a single cause, this is often why.

Not a conclusion. Just a place to start looking.

I keep noticing the same thing in the amazing neurodivergent women who end up in my orbit.

They’re bright. Thoughtful. Very capable on paper.
They know the language of ADHD or AuDHD.
They’ve read the books, tried the tools, reflected a lot.

And still, everything feels harder than it should be.

Emails take more out of them than they expect.
Admin spills everywhere.
They’re constantly negotiating with themselves about when to start, how much to do, whether they’re doing “enough”.

So somewhere around reinventing the wheel for the eighth time, the question appears:

“I’m smart, introspective, and I’m doing so much. What's wrong with me?”

My answer is almost always the same.
Not you. Your systems.

A lot of advice assumes:
- you can be consistent on demand
- your energy is predictable and available when needed
- focus is a switch you can flip if you just find the right hack
- and if something isn’t working, it’s a personal shortcoming

What I see instead is this:
-people doing constant mental translation just to get through the day
- insight with nothing sturdy enough to hold it
- exhaustion from having to renegotiate everything, all the time

So you end up with:
- good insight, but nothing that holds day to day
- strong ideas, but no structures that survive a low-energy week
- a lot of quiet self-blame for problems that are actually structural

My interest is in the bit most people skip.

The translation between understanding your brain and being able to operate sustainably in real work environments.

Patterns, not hacks.
Systems, not (to quote Glinda) personality dialysis.
Ways of working that do not collapse the moment you’re tired, distracted, or having a weird week.

If you’re in pyjamas, eating leftovers, and vaguely aware that “real life” is coming back soon… same.

Today’s 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐖𝐢𝐧 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐲 is the 𝐑𝐞-𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧 𝐓𝐨 𝐁𝐞 𝐇𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐄𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 - tiny wins for that weird in-between day when you’re not quite working, not quite resting, and time is an abstract concept.

All under 30 seconds.
Pick one or do them all.
Slowness is allowed.

𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐖𝐢𝐧 𝟏 – 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐨𝐟𝐚 𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭
Pick up one thing that does not belong on the sofa (plate, sock, rogue wrapper) and move it to where it’s supposed to live.
Your space - and your brain - feel 3 percent less feral.

𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐖𝐢𝐧 𝟐 – 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐡 𝐀𝐢𝐫 𝐌𝐢𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐬𝐞
Open a window or step just outside the door for 10 seconds.
You don’t have to go anywhere.
Just let your senses remember there is a world beyond your living room.

𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐖𝐢𝐧 𝟑 – 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐞𝐭 𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐭
Fold one blanket or throw it vaguely neatly over the back of a chair.
Visual calm hits harder than you think.

𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐖𝐢𝐧 𝟒 – 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐭𝐨𝐱 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐞
Mute one group chat that has been pinging non-stop since Boxing Day.
You can always unmute it later. Your nervous system needs the break now.

𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐖𝐢𝐧 𝟓 – 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐩
Choose one thing your Monday self will be grateful you did today.
Laying out clothes?
Putting your work bag by the door?
Charging your laptop?
Whatever it is - future you will feel the kindness.

Tiny wins spark momentum, and sometimes that’s the one thing that gets us through the day.

If you want more ND-friendly mini wins, plus timely ND news and a practical tool or resource in every issue, my newsletter The Pebble might be your new favourite end-of-week reset.

Link in the comments.