Jasmin Egner - Self-Care Coach

So many times I felt frozen at the thought of making the wrong decision, catastrophising what a ‘bad’ outcome would look like. The higher the stakes the more frozen:

- when something important is more expensive than I’m ok with: 💭 ‘what if I’ll never recover from this hit?’
- when I have to have surgery: 💭 ‘what if it goes wrong?’
- when I need to have an uncomfortable conversation: 💭 ‘what if it ends in a falling out?’

The fear behind all of this is one and the same: 💭 ‘what if it makes things worse for me?’

The limiting beliefs that go with it are:

💭 ‘I make bad decisions.’
💭 ‘I won’t be able to cope.’

This needs generosity and self compassion, so I can remember to trust my capabilities.

So I sit with it, and I do 5 things:

1. I talk myself through the likelihood of the worst case scenario actually happening
2. I think about the avenues I can take if things don’t turn out as I hoped
3. I remind myself of why this needs to be done and what it will give me
4. I visualise it going exactly as I need it
5. When the time comes: I hand it over to the universe and trust it will work out

Do it in a way that works for you. You’re much more likely to get the results you need and be well.

This is me working on an assignment for my Psych degree studies last year. It looked a bit like this: 25min working, 30min nap, repeat for a few hours a day. I study part time and that is all my limited energy reserves will allow me. Untreated endometriosis and a lot of trauma have left me with very low energy, so I have to make sure I understand my needs - and meet them as much as I can muster. I *had* to learn to rest, to ask for help, and to accept help too. So I ask for extensions. I rest so I can achieve and maintain things that are important to me, and to be well.

For almost 4 decades I tried to operate the way most people around me did. It was painful, isolating and so much slower than the way I do things now. I crashed many times. I had to give up on dreams. I missed out on opportunities because I was too exhausted from trying to keep up.

Going against the mainstream is hard. It can feel exposing and like a threat to our safety. That’s why it takes so many of us so long to get to a point where we say ‘enough!’. And still I wish I’d done it sooner. I wish I’d learned to understand and respect my needs sooner. It’s a much better life this way.

➡️ I got the top grade on that assignment by the way 🙌

Make little pockets of rest part of your pattern. Today is a great day to begin ☀️

Âuthenticity y’all. It’s not easy. This journey will push all your buttons. It will infuriate some people while others will totally get you. Watch carefully how people react to you embracing who you are - it will tell you who is for you and who is not.

Sometimes just giving yourself kindness when you can’t forgive is enough of an accomplishment. There is too much shaming around forgiveness. We’re not required to shame ourselves.

Just sitting here, quietly judging myself for how I responded when my childhood trauma was triggered. And probably judging myself for judging myself 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Reminder:
Trauma responses are natural. The trauma itself is not our fault. The opportunity we have - and the responsibility - is to work on our response to it, in the best way with can, with what we have. That’s what we can do. And it will look different for different people.

Sometimes we slip up. And when that happens we need to be particularly kind to ourselves, so we don’t add to the trauma.

To the cycle breakers. You are changing the world.

These two 💕

Happy Holidays! Remember to take care of yourself too 🌟✨⭐️

Festive door spotted on our Christmas dog walk 🐶

I turned 45 last week and look what Adam got me! A Halloween inspired birthday cake! 🎃 I refuse to grow out of my pumpkin obsession. And my conkers obsession. And my autumn leaves obsession. I refuse to! 😊🍁🌰

I had such a great time talking to Alicia Hopkins about all things Self-Care for her Wake Up Call Podcast:

What it really means to put our needs first, what 'being kind' absolutely doesn't mean, and how to reclaim our personal power with a few simple (but not always easy) shifts in thinking and behaviour. Some of this took me 30 to 40 years to realise, and I'm happy to give you a shortcut!

What does Self-Care mean to you? Let me know int he comments!

Have a listen here:
Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/5q63GtkLO6SWfYsMAeKHJO

Apple Podcasts
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/022-redefining-self-care-to-reclaim-your-personal-power/id1551894138?i=1000526250464

Google Podcasts
https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy80YTMxNjY4Yy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw/episode/NjY4MTg0YjMtMzUxNy00ZDQ0LTg0YjItYjBlZmYwMzA5MDA1?sa=X&ved=0CAUQkfYCahcKEwjIzpCvh6nxAhUAAAAAHQAAAAAQAQ

Wake Up Call - 022: Redefining Self-Care to Reclaim Your Personal Power with Jasmin Egner Today’s episode is all about self-care. Our guest today, Jasmin Egner, describes self-care best in this episode when she says it’s “a hell of a lot more than a bubble bath.” Self-care is about understanding what you need and want, and communicating those things through your words and actions...