UCL Futsal

Varsity 🟣

Next stop: Reading. Coming for the 3 points.🟣🟣🟣

1 week to go.

History remembers the great clashes —
David vs Goliath.
United vs Liverpool.
El Clásico.

Now…
UCL vs KCL.

Tickets required.
Mind games already underway — with K*ngs trying to disqualify us again.

Rumour has it Ossie (K*ngs captain) is pulling up in an armoured vehicle to “protect his players” 😭

Somers Town won’t be the same.

🎟 Get your tickets:
https://studentsunionucl.org/whats-on/events-activities/varsity-series-2026-futsal

History remembers the great clashes — David vs Goliath, United vs Liverpool, El Clásico…Now, one for the history books: UCL vs KCL.

Tickets required. Mind games already underway — with K*ngs trying to disqualify us again.

Rumour has it Ossie (K*ngs captain) is pulling up in an armoured vehicle to “protect his players” 😭

Somers Town won’t be the same.

Get your tickets here: https://studentsunionucl.org/whats-on/events-activities/varsity-series-2026-futsal

Last week, me (El Presidente) and Ale (El Secretario Social) had a chat about our SU situation, and I told him we’d had a decent one…

Sunday: We arrived at the pitch wondering why the goals were bent like Bonnie Blue. Readings 1s didn’t seem to like them either, maybe they thought the frames had seen too much action. Personally, I think they were just intimidated by us, especially Moriz and his innocent face, who later bent them over.

Now onto the “friendly”. We lined up with Raf up front, Tristan and Aadiv on the wings, Callum at the back, and Sei in goal. We started strong, penetrating through their defence, and Tristan opened the scoring. During the first half I (El Presidente) was flicked by a Mexican snack, although he was Argentinian, by the way (you know who you are 😘). Personally, I love nachos, so no complaints. Good lad, really. A flurry of fouls earned Raf his first goal from the penalty spot, thanks for the pickles you bought me, I hope ur snus is fine. Half-time score: 4–2 to them.

Second half: Rex seemed more interested in their legs than the ball and nearly got himself slapped by their very large fixed (must’ve been on his period). Their keeper (Their El Presidente) probably should’ve been sent off for a scandalous handball outside the box.

Then came the cumback. A beautiful one. In the dying minutes we led 6-7. Six Sevennn, Six Sevennnn. I tried to lock it down, ordering the team to park the bus. But Moriz had other ideas and gave them one last back shot. Final score: 8–6.

Up the ding 🛎️!

We don’t post draws, standards must be upheld. 10:30am, away day, and we’re blessed with an actually nice futsal pitch. Sadly, two unnamed individuals managed to arrive at our home pitch instead, proving that academic excellence still don’t guarantee the ability to read a WhatsApp message correctly. Even more impressively, I (El Presidente) arriving 20 minutes late still arrived 2 minutes earlier than them. Leadership. Standards. The game starts and we immediately score two quick goals. Callum (pls buy your membership 😭) whisper on a message to the subs, the main point being that the opposition were, in polite terms, not very good. We cruise into halftime 5–1 up. Our team talk: silence and vibes. Their team talk: a 10-minute crisis meeting. Second half, Aadiv (our starboy) completes his hat trick. Don and Tristan celebrate with him using the mask Gooner celebration. Sportsmanship remained our core value, as shown by our captain (me) placing a clearance into an opponent’s shin. The ref saw nothing, play went on, and while he lay there in pain, I thundered a shot off the post with as much power as I hit him. (In all seriousness, I hope he is okay) Full time: 8–3. Next up, Reading 1s or 2s.

These photos cost us £60 and we are going bankrupt. If you’d like to support us, we’re accepting donations, donation link’s in our Linktree.