Lucinda Shaw Coaching

I was sorry to hear of yet another report on the high number of people, particularly women, who are experiencing depression. Only yesterday I was touched by the bravery of someone on LinkedIn who shared his current struggles with mental health and encouraged others to be open with their issues.

He's absolutely right. There's no shame in feeling really bad. Feeling that everyone else has somehow got it all worked out and only you are struggling and failing. Ironically many people feel that so the more we share and reach out for support the more we can understand others haven't always got it sorted, despite appearances.

Counselling/therapy can really help and practitioners can be found via organisations like WPF Therapy and many will be on LinkedIn. Coaching can also support you, and some coaches, like me, offer a more therapeutic coaching that acknowledges how low you feel and enables you to look ahead and find a way through the sludge.

Most practitioners will offer an initial chemistry session at no cost where you can explore whether they're the right person for you. And if they're not they can suggest someone else who might be better suited.

So, if you or someone you know is struggling please reach out and find a good, empathetic practitioner to work with.

'Truly, a person who feels understood, even just by one other, is a person who can take on the world.'

I love these words from Coco Khan in her recent column in the Guardian because I absolutely believe them to be true. When we're heard, when someone invests their attention and belief in us, we can dig so much deeper and go so much further.

This has happened when I've coached teams and they've shared honestly what they appreciate about their colleagues. They each realise that they are truly seen and the impact on morale is startling.

''Lucinda recently facilitated the Green Corridor Strategy day - helping the Board members connect, focus and decision make at a crucial time in the development of the charity. Lucinda supported the CEO and Chair in preparing and developing the day, then crucially created and held a space for the Trustees to work in. This ensured that there was a positive outcome for all. One Board member reflected 'that was a really useful, interesting and cooperative session today. I found it very productive...'.
Highly recommended!''

As well as working with individuals I also do team coaching and facilitate group work. Working with the Board at Green Corridor recently I was reminded of just how powerful it is to use someone from outside of the organisaiton to help create psychological safety. Somehow the dynamic in the room shifts and people feel more able to contribute and be a part of the success of the day.

Many thanks to Paul Keenleyside and Tim Knight for inviting me to support their fantastic work with young people with special educational needs.

It's been fascinating to hear people talk about Shirley Williams, the Lib Dem peer, following her death this week. As well as discussion of her long, important career and influence on politics, much has been said about her lack of confidence.

David Owen, who led the SDP when the 'gang of four' left the Labour Party, said that he'd tried to persuade Shirley Williams to become the leader. He had many reasons to believe she was the best one to do it, but she'd said no.

In an old interview Shirley Williams talked about feeling she could take on the number two role, but she didn't have the confidence to be the leader.

She was one of the first female cabinet ministers, involved in politics for 50 years, a Baroness, respected on all sides of the political spectrum in and out of Westminster. And yet, something held her back.

So, next time you look at someone and assume they possess the elusive confidence you wish you had, remember a lot of people make it look easy, but underneath feel exactly the way you do.

And then remember, you don't have to feel like that, you can choose to do something about it. Get in touch for a chat about how I work with people who walk away at the end with a confidence and self-belief that no longer feels elusive.

I started working with a woman yesterday who, like so many of my clients, knows that she needs to do something about her view of herself and her low self-esteem.

After 45 minutes she shared that she'd achieved so much more than she'd anticipated she would in her first session. Amusingly she then declared that it was absolutely worth the money she was investing, which I admit made me laugh.

Joking aside, although I obviously understand how coaching works and have a lot of experience, it still amazes me how efficient a process it can be. It's so interesting how it enables us - and I include myself as I love being coached - to think differently so that our world opens up. What we told ourselves wasn't possible suddenly is, new ways of looking at issues become possible and liberating.

It's that freedom that coaching enables that I love and saw on the woman's face yesterday: that wonder that life and how she thought could be so positively different.

I'd go so far as to say it should be on the NHS!

What is it about confidence? Or rather, what is it about the lack of it that's so often at the heart of every issue that women bring to their work with me?

Timothy Galwey, he of the seminal The Inner Game of Tennis, talks about Self 1 and Self 2.

Self 1 is tough, lots of shoulds and constantly undermining Self 2 with what to think and do.

Self 2 is "a tremendously sophisticated and competent collection of potentialities", which just gets on with it.

How can you step into Self 2 and get rid of that lurking lack of confidence and self-belief that Self 1 is unhelpfully perpetuating every day?

Get in touch with me to explore your Self 2 and how to live once and for all with your potentialities instead of your shoulds and maybes.

In a recent radio interview singer-songwriter David Gray talked about how 'something magical happened' when he wrote and recorded his album, White Ladder.

He said: 'I think the magic is overcoming yourself, getting over yourself, being nothing and allowing everything that's in your heart to be shown. And by this utter exposure comes a strange invincibility'.

I always think something magical happens in coaching. It sounds strange, and like so many things you have to experience it to really get it, but it's what David Gray talked about.

Allowing yourself to look, to be open to your feelings and to pull them apart in order to learn and move on to where you want to be. It may feel scary and like 'utter exposure' but I know clients leave coaching sessions with a sense of 'a strange invincibility' and with the courage they need to make the changes they want.

I've put a link in the comments to my piece on courage that I wrote for ACEVO and would be interested to hear what courage means for you?

Last week I completed the brilliant Advanced Coaching Skills programme with Coaching Development, where I originally trained.

Led by the ever-excellent Colin Brett and Karen Pratt it's been a wonderful few months of immersing myself back into that learning 'space' with fellow travellers.

This is the third course I've done since March and it continues to amaze me how good online learning can be if paced and delivered well. Who'd have thought it a year ago?

Of course I miss the buzz of being with everyone, and actually meeting the other people, but Karen Pratt and another delegate were in South Africa and we would have missed all they brought had we been in the room.

How have you found training online over the last year?

'Lucinda is an amazing, insightful, kind and considered coach. The warmth and strength that resonates from her really motivated me to do the best I could. I benefited hugely, both professionally and personally from my coaching sessions with Lucinda. I genuinely couldn't recommend her highly enough. One of the most compassionate coaches in the field, I'm sure.'

Listening to an interview on the radio this morning I was reminded of this lovely feedback I received. Richard Bentall, Professor of Clinical Psychology at Sheffiield University, researched the importance of what he calls the therapeutic alliance. In his work with people with psychosis he showed that, whatever the therapy, it is the relationship between the patient and therapist that is critical to the success of the intervention.

This has been borne out by other research into the quality of the therapeutic relationship and I know from my own work that it's equally true in coaching.

I always begin my work with potential clients with a chemistry session to see if there's a good fit. We explore if I'm the right Coach for them, if they feel they can trust me and if I believe I can support the important work they want to do. The feedback shows that when we get this right clients make great progress.

Spring is springing, too early than it should from a global warming perspective, but I couldn't help feel a spark when I spotted this today.

Hope is so important, isn't it? And believing that things will get better, that we will be together again and, crucially, that we will learn what we need to keep our planet and people safe.

'I found the coaching phenomenally helpful.'

I was having a wrap-up session with a client recently, which she concluded with these words. In the reflection and feedback form that she completed afterwards she went into her reasons:

'Yes I would recommend you (as you were recommended to me). I would say that you helped me pick at some insecurities I had which I would not have been able to do on my own, allowed me to see the choices in the context of what was beneficial to me, irrespective of what others or even myself had previously thought.'

It's this expansion of our thinking that is one of the most important aspects of coaching. The process gives us time and space to think about our thinking: what are we assuming? what are we telling ourselves that if we indentify and eliminate, our thinking and possibilities going forward can change quite phenomenally?

How great is that? Give me a call if you'd like to understand more about how this coaching thing works and how your thinking about your thinking could grow.

I believe passionately in the possibility of change not least because I see it all the time. It's been on my mind a great deal recently so I wrote this short blog to celebrate the changes that some of my clients have made.

Reconnecting with our brilliance | Lucinda Shaw My daughter loves fashion so a few years ago I made her a card using collage. What emerged was a picture of lots of young women and, while they’re mostly models and we know that industry has significant issues, I still love images full of women.