The Listening Coach

Your mind is already three steps ahead. The room hasn’t even started yet.

This is the first of three posts exploring what it really means to lead with ADHD. I have written these because the conversation matters, and it isn’t happening nearly enough.

I work with leaders who think fast. Remarkably fast. They can see the solution before others have finished framing the problem. They notice connections, possibilities, and risks that most people in the room will reach ten minutes later, if at all.

Yet so many of them carry a quiet, persistent exhaustion.

This is not because they cannot keep up. It's because the world around them moves too slowly, and they have spent years trying to bridge that gap on their own.

“In reality, people with ADHD can thrive in leadership positions. The fast pace, high pressure, and need for constant novelty are perfect for us.” - Partridge

The challenge, in my experience, is rarely the quality of the thinking. It is finding an environment where that thinking has room to breathe. Where being ahead of the room is recognised as a gift, not quietly managed as a problem.

When a leader with ADHD feels genuinely heard, something shifts. The overwhelm begins to lift. Not because the pace of their mind slows, but because they are no longer carrying it alone.

What support would allow you to bring your thinking fully into the room?

I would love to hear from you in the comments, especially if you are a leader who recognises something of yourself here.

To discover more, start here with my latest blog post. https://ow.ly/kip950Z2aGb

The listening that changes everything for ADHD leaders There is something that many leaders with ADHD know, even if they have never said it aloud. A quiet, persistent feeling of being one step out of sync. Of thinking faster than the room, of ideas that branch and multiply before there is space to voice them, of conversations that move on before the mos

“I hadn’t realised how much I needed to say that out loud… and now it makes sense.”

My daughter said this to me after I listened, really listened.

No interruption. No judging. No trying to organise her thinking. No fixing.

Instead, I gave her my attention. Generative attention.

As an executive coach, listening has always been my core skill. What I hadn’t fully appreciated was the impact generative attention could have.

For individuals with ADHD, challenges with focus, working memory, prioritisation and emotional regulation can make thinking feel overwhelming.

And yet…

When someone is truly listened to, something shifts.
Thinking slows down.
Connections are made.
Clarity emerges.

In that space, executive functioning becomes easier to access.

This Friday I’ll be speaking at the in Antwerp, exploring:

• How generative listening reduces cognitive overload
• Why psychological safety supports ADHD thinking
• How a Thinking Environment enables clearer, calmer, more independent thinking

Because when we change the quality of our listening…
we change the quality of another person’s thinking.

We rarely see the full arc of our own journey while we are living it.
Last week, I was invited to pause and take mine in.

This year marks 40 years since I began working in the City of London. Last week, at the Guildhall, I was granted the Freedom of the City.

It feels a profound honour. Not simply as a milestone, but as a moment of connection to the very heart of the City and its long tradition of service to those who live and work within it.

Standing in Guildhall Court, I found myself thinking about the many individuals who have received this Freedom before me. Their unique contributions. Their quiet service. Their commitment to something larger than themselves.

It reminded me that recognition is never really about arrival. It is about responsibility.

If I look back to my younger self, beginning as a secretary at SWISS BANK CORPORATION I could never have imagined this moment.

After three years, I took a year off to travel the world. It was in Australia that something shifted in me. I began to see work differently, not simply as a career ladder, but as a place where we discover and develop our unique gifts.

I returned to the UK with fresh eyes and an eager mind. I joined Linklaters in the personnel department, studied HR Management at , and over time moved from HR Generalist to HR Director across Guardian Property Management, J.P. Morgan, DLJ and ABN AMRO Bank N.V.

In 2002, I founded my executive coaching practice. Since then, I have had the privilege of supporting aspiring and senior leaders to create environments where people can flourish — where everybody matters.

None of this happened alone. I am deeply grateful to , my first boss, and Paul Barry, who believed in me and encouraged me beyond what I thought possible.

And to friends who have walked alongside me from the early days and in more recent years — Miranda Brockman, Barry, Elizabeth Arthur, PCC Darren Lad, Deborah Lad, Tony Alborough, Stevens. Your presence in my life is a gift.

Being part of the Sellers of London is also personal. My husband has been a Liveryman for 26 years and now sits on the Court. As a family, we are proud to support the Company and its significant contribution to charity, education and the life of the City.

Receiving the Freedom feels both a privilege and an opportunity to continue serving the City that has shaped my business skills, deepened my relationships, and allowed me to grow alongside so many remarkable people.

It has also prompted a quiet question in me.

Who believed in you before you fully believed in yourself?

Perhaps today is a day to thank them. To name them. To let them know the difference they made.

And if your 25-year-old self could see you now, what might they be quietly proud of?

I didn’t need a new strategy this week. I needed a new story.

What is important for us as leaders to understand is this:
The way we think shapes the way we behave, and the way we behave shapes the outcomes we create.

Our world is complex. To make sense of it, we construct narratives.
Assumptions about the market.
Assumptions about our industry.
Assumptions about what is possible for us, our teams, and our future.

Over time, these assumptions harden. They begin to feel like facts.

Some quietly constrain us. Others liberate us.

This week, in conversation with a colleague, I was gently challenged. I had been holding a more downbeat narrative about the difficulty of change and the uncertainty surrounding us. It felt responsible. Sensible even.

It was also heavy.

She invited me to look again.

What if the only constant is change? And what if living in and with change is not something to survive, but something rich with opportunity?

Nothing in my external world shifted.

But internally, everything did.

My energy lifted. My conversations became more expansive. Curiosity replaced caution. Possibility replaced pressure.

I was reminded that leadership is not only about navigating markets or setting direction. It is about noticing the lens through which we are interpreting reality.

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” – Marcel Proust

Perhaps in uncertain times, our greatest responsibility is not to predict the future, but to examine the assumptions shaping our response to it.

So I am interested to learn:

What narrative have you recently shifted that changed your energy or your results?

The story I’ve been telling myself about change is…
And a more liberating story could be…

If this reflection resonates, share your shift below. And if someone has challenged your thinking in a way that expanded you, consider acknowledging them here. Challenge, offered with care, is a profound leadership gift.

Because sometimes the breakthrough is not in doing more.

It is in seeing differently.

How might you show up differently this week if you chose a more liberating story?

Belonging isn’t given. It’s generated.
And the way we listen has everything to do with it.

A culture of belonging is not built through policies or posters.
It’s created, moment by moment, in the ways we show up and the ways we make space for others to do the same.

As leaders, we generate belonging when we behave in ways that show how much we care.
When we listen free from interruption or judgement.
When we give space for others to share their thoughts, especially when they challenge our own.
When we acknowledge others not only for what they’ve done, but for who they are.

A delegate on one of my programmes recently said:
“I felt I belonged because you truly listened to my view.”
His perspective was different from the group’s, and in other settings, he’d been excluded for that very reason.

It reminded me that inclusion doesn’t require grand gestures.
Sometimes, it’s simply about someone finally being heard and not dismissed.

Yet a common blind spot in leadership is inconsistency.
A lack of awareness about how our own behaviours of rushed meetings, imposed ideas, or unchecked emotions can unintentionally exclude.

If we want to generate cultures where people feel they belong, we must be intentional with our presence.

* Give space equally.
* Listen deeply.
* Respond with humanity.

So let me ask you two things:

Can you remember a moment when you truly felt you belonged in a team or group? Or when you didn’t? What made the difference?

Who’s someone in your life or work who creates belonging for others? Tag them here to let them know the impact they’ve made.

Let’s celebrate the quiet power of presence and the leaders who practise it. Please contribute to this post and share your ideas in the comments below. Thank you.



Photo credit: Fells

Sourcing executive coaching for senior leaders is one of the most important decisions Talent & L&D teams make.

At this level, coaching is not about fixing performance.
It’s about strengthening thinking, presence and judgement — especially under pressure.

In my new article, I share the qualities that matter most when selecting a coach for leaders with responsibility for the whole organisation.

It’s in my Featured section:
“What Talent & L&D Leaders should look for in Executive Coaching.”

For Talent & L&D colleagues:
What’s the one non-negotiable you look for in an executive coach?

The quietest part of leadership is often the most important.

As leaders move into roles with responsibility for the whole organisation, something subtle begins to change.

The work becomes louder.
The decisions become heavier.
The expectations become clearer.
But the thinking space becomes smaller.

And yet…
It is often the quietest moments that shape the wisest leadership.

In my work with senior leaders, I am struck by how rarely they are given the simple gift of uninterrupted attention.
A moment to breathe.
A moment to notice.
A moment to reconnect with what they already know, but haven’t had space to hear.

When we slow down, even briefly, clarity returns.
Perspective widens.
Confidence softens into calm authority.
The next step becomes visible.

I’ve written a short reflection on this:
“Why senior leaders need space to think – not more answers.”
It’s now in my Featured section.

If you’re leading at senior level, you might like to ask yourself:

Where in your week do you allow yourself the space to think — without agenda, interruption or urgency?

Sometimes, the quietest practice is the most transformative.

Reflection isn’t a luxury.
It is a leadership responsibility.

Last week, I hosted the final session of our 2025 Thinking Environment® Alumni community, a space dedicated to growth, fulfilment, and the practice of creating environments where people can truly think for themselves.

We closed our time together not with a checklist of achievements, but with two simple questions:

What is one courageous act of thinking or leading you have taken this year that you are proud of, and what made it possible?
What emerging possibility or insight is giving you hope or energy for the year ahead?

The response was powerful.

Members welcomed the opportunity to pause and to listen inwardly before moving forward.

And it reminded me why reflection is so essential in leadership.

It is not the experience alone that shapes us. It is the meaning we make from it. The time we take to think about what stretched us, challenged us, changed us. And how that prepares us to lead with more depth, awareness and care going forward.

In my work, I see time and again that courage often begins at the edge of comfort. And listening — especially to ourselves — is what helps us step into that space with intention.

If you would like to take five minutes today to reflect, I invite you to sit with the two questions above. Or even better write your thoughts down.

If you would like a short reflection sheet to use personally or with your team, please send me a message and I will share it with you.

Let us close this year with clarity, and open the next with courage.

Your turn:
What is one courageous act of thinking or leading you are proud of this year?
What is giving you hope or energy for the year ahead?

Tag someone whose thinking or leadership inspired you this year and let them know why.

When was the last time you felt truly listened to without being interrupted, redirected, or given advice?

Many individuals with ADHD carry years, sometimes decades, of being misunderstood. Of being told to “just focus,” or “calm down,” or “try harder.” They have adapted by masking their struggles, overworking, or withdrawing. They have rarely been given the space to think aloud, uninterrupted, and come to their own insights.

In coaching, generative listening becomes a healing force. It says: “You are not broken. You are capable. And I trust your thinking.”

Could this kind of listening reduce overwhelm? Could it help individuals uncover their own most powerful strategies? For organisations, could it be that listening, not fixing, is the most underused support tool you have? To discover more, you can read my latest blog post. Link in the comments below.