Many women aren’t just navigating the end of their marriage, but they are also having they eyes opened to their first experience of post-separation abuse. In some cases this is simply an extension of the type of behaviour you experienced in the marriage (the type that you blamed yourself for, the type that kept you stuck), in other cases you are observing a completely different person. A monster, so different to the person you married that you no longer know what’s true and what’s not.
One classic sign of post-separation abuse is a smear campaign. This is when someone will go out of their way to begin to share mistruths, misrepresentations, narratives without context, in the hope this will discredit you and leave you isolated and judged. It can feel unbelievably painful that someone you once trusted with your life would do this to you, but here’s what I want you to know ⬇️
✨ Only someone who is unhappy and in pain themselves would need to tear you down. It makes them feel better
✨ This has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. Do not justify, do not explain, do not engage with these campaigns. Rise above them and carry on with the journey you are ok. Truth always prevails
✨ Log this behaviour somewhere private - on your phone, or note it down. The dates, the general narrative, log any comms (texts, screenshots, emails) and save them. If this continues, it’s time to raise it with your local domestic abuse service, or the police. Not because action will be taken straight away, but because behaviour like this is often part of a pattern that is likely to escalate. Logging this behaviour now will help you in the future.
🌱 Re-stabilising yourself during a smear campaign is hard, but remember this; You do not need to fire bullets to make yourself heard - allow time to do that work for you. Instead, focus on your nervous system, your mental health and your village. And, if you need extra support, join The Separation Circle - my free community for women navigating separation & divorce. Comment ME below to be sent the link ✨
Lucy Flow
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Professional coach for women going through change and transition
Not complaining. No. Course not. Not me! Just explaining the survival plan! But in seriousness - stay hydrated guys and step away from the tanning oil! 🔥
Busy days mean I’m always looking for quick and convenient options that fit around work, school runs and everything in between.
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21/06/2026
Happy Father’s Day to the man who has never stopped holding us up. To the man who (still) works hard for his family, his grandchildren and for us to be ok. I cant begin to explain how lucky we are to have my Dad - the best there is 🩵
I don’t have many things on my bucket list, but as a theatre lover, this is one evening I will NOT forget. Managed to (somehow) bag front bloody row tickets at to watch the Les Miserables World Arena Tour. IYKYK.
There’s a good chance the oxytocin rush last night was actually on par with my homebirths…. I was floating in a pool of emotion. I remember the feeling of first going to the theatre as a little girl with my mum, and it being a huge part of our relationship. I went on to train in performing arts and work professionally, studying these shows, the casts, the technical magic behind the stage. The portrayal of pain, grief, love, joy, passion, all through music, creativity and art. It’s my medicine and total passion.
Life has been hard. This was oh so healing. For one evening maybe, but the memory is absolutely locked in.
Reconnect with what you love, and do it often ✨
16/06/2026
It’s been a good few weeks since I opened this free community space - The Separation Circle. Already we have over 60 women in there, sharing their story and finding comfort and support in knowing they aren’t alone. We’re listening, responding, offering experiences and guidance. Some women are quietly considering leaving, while others are on that journey. We have women who are living with their partners while simultaneously separating, women making preparations, women quietly thinking through their next steps, women worried about how to communicate with their children, women coming out of the other side with strength to share with others. I think this is exactly what I needed too, but everywhere I looked felt aggressive, angry and intimidating.
When we are facing a time of transition and change, we need to feel as whole and as grounded as possible during the process. Our nervous systems feel scared and vulnerable - the human brains aren’t wired for changed, they are wired for security, even if that means staying in unhealthy and sometimes unsafe environments.
The Separation Circle is a warm, welcoming, assertive and supportive space to find your feet at this time. Where women gather together to walk beside one another. It’s confidential, it’s private and it’s for you.
Comment ME below ⬇️ to be sent an invitation to the group, or DM me privately to stay anonymous.
You WILL get through this, and you will thrive! ✨💛
I’ve always been interested in spirituality and I think it’s in times of need you turn to whatever it is that brings you peace. It’s been a big part of the last few years of me and whenever things feel out of kilter, I reach for something that aligns with being better connected to myself.
I’ve been really drawn to learn Tarot recently. I feel this pull to exploring what it means, how to read Tarot, how to connect people with themselves through it. And who knows, maybe I will!
Whatever your relationship with spirituality, I hope you feel safe enough to explore it without judgement ✨
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The power and healing that takes place when we step away from the noise - the mental load, the same four walls that carry to do lists and jobs. The morning routines and the chaotic evenings. I LOVE those parts of my life, I wouldn’t wish them away in any lifetime, but that doesn’t mean we don’t need a break.
I have never needed to look after myself more than I have this last year and stepping away every so often for a mind and body reset has probably been one of the things that has kept me stable, by just allowing myself to pause, reset and come back home fuller and more resilient to the demands ahead of me. And there are many.
I don’t think it matters where you go, but it does matter who you go with. Other people’s energy has the potential to fill you up or drain you completely, so choose your company wisely, or, just go alone. Sit with your thoughts, however uncomfortable they may be. Reflect on what’s going on for you right now, what are the repeating patterns, where do you want life to get to? Only when we go still and quiet, can the answers come.
This staycation rejuvenated me in all the ways. The sunshine, the stillness, the nature, the healing. If there is one thing I’d recommend for burnout, it’s this 💛🌱
Why did I want to visit a Shaman? I’ve been on a healing journey for a while now, helping my nervous system after a lot of trauma and being someone who’s open to alternative ways of thinking and experiencing the world, this felt like something I really wanted to try. I think there’s so much value in exploring different perspectives and if something brings you peace, validation, connection to something higher, then why wouldn’t you wait to explore it?
Shamanism exists in many cultures around the world and is one of the oldest spiritual practices known to humanity. Traditionally, a Shaman is seen as someone who helps people reconnect with themselves, their community, nature, and the spiritual world through rituals, meditation, ceremony, and healing practices.
The beliefs and methods vary depending on the culture, but at its core, it’s often about restoring balance - emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.
Whether you see it as a spiritual practice, a cultural tradition, or a different approach to wellbeing, it’s a way of looking beyond the everyday and creating space for reflection, healing, and personal growth.
That’s one of the reasons I felt drawn to experience it for myself and why I want to share what I’ve learnt with you too. Follow along on my journey to find out more 💛🌱
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