LegallyNik

23/10/2026

This post is simply made to educate.

So many mothers come to me seeking advice and support with this - I am base my advice on the merits of each individual case but what I would really love to see is change from the start.

I know this isn’t always that easy….the pressures that be.

Share with an expectant mama who may benefit from the advice x

22/10/2026

A few hours of anger management does not undo years of harmful behaviour.

When a Family Court has made serious findings against a parent, we need to stop treating attendance on a course as though it automatically demonstrates meaningful change.

For parents who have spent years living with coercive control, intimidation, threats, manipulation and fear, being told that the person responsible has completed a three-hour course is unlikely to provide much reassurance when their children’s safety is at stake.

Because attending a course is not the same as changing behaviour.

And anger management is not necessarily an appropriate intervention for someone whose behaviour was rooted in power and control rather than an inability to manage their temper.

I am not suggesting that people cannot change. I am suggesting that the burden of demonstrating that change should not fall on the parent who has already endured years of harmful behaviour.

Children deserve safe relationships with their parents. But safety must be established through proper assessment and evidence, not assumed because somebody attended a course. A certificate of attendance is not a certificate of safety. And a protective parent should not be made to feel unreasonable for recognising the difference.

21/10/2026

Welcome to what has become a standard Day In The Life….. today was not the most nutritional, but we made it out alive, so a win is a win x

20/10/2026

Are you representing yourself in family court? Going to court on your own?

Walking into Family Court without legal representation can feel incredibly daunting, particularly when the outcome could have a significant impact on you and your children.

But being a litigant in person does NOT mean you have to walk in unprepared.

As a Child Protection Lawyer who regularly supports parents representing themselves, these are five things I would always encourage you to consider before a hearing.

A few additional reminders:

📌 Preparation matters. Know what you’re asking the court to do and, more importantly, WHY.

📌 You are allowed to ask questions. If you don’t understand legal terminology, a proposed direction or an order, ask for clarification.

📌 You don’t have to agree under pressure. Particularly when the decisions being made concern your children.

📌 A McKenzie Friend can offer valuable support, but they do not automatically have the right to speak on your behalf.

And finally, remember that Family Court is not about who tells the most compelling story. It’s about the evidence, the relevant issues and, in children proceedings, the welfare of the child.

Save this for your next hearing, or share it with someone navigating Family Court without a solicitor. 🤍

18/10/2026

Follow for more insights on how to speak the courts language 💛

18/10/2026

16/10/2026

Of course, as always remember that when a statement is made, follow it with example and then if and when necessary evidence/exhibits. Describe and explain always.

15/10/2026

How many of you didn’t realise you were experiencing coercive control until someone pointed it out, or you read something and it just CLICKED?

Sometimes, when you’re living through it, you don’t recognise it for what it is.

Coercive control isn’t obvious. It doesn’t have to involve physical harm, and it certainly doesn’t have to end when the relationship does - actually it ramps up after.

In fact, separation can simply change the methods through which control is exercised.

➡️ Child arrangements: Using contact, handovers or demands about time with the children to intimidate, undermine or exert pressure.

➡️ Decision-making: Using parental responsibility as a weapon. Unreasonably withholding passports, obstructing arrangements or making decisions to maintain control.

➡️ Financial: “I’ll only pay towards the children if you agree to XYZ.”

➡️ Legal proceedings: Repeated or unnecessary applications intended to intimidate, punish or financially exhaust the other parent.

Not every difficult co-parenting relationship amounts to coercive control. But equally, not every allegation of coercive control should be dismissed as parental conflict.

⚖️ Under Practice Direction 12J, the Family Court must consider relevant allegations of domestic abuse and whether a fact-finding hearing is necessary when determining child arrangements.

Because coercive control doesn’t just affect the parent experiencing it. Children can be victims of its impact too.

❤️ Sometimes, recognising the pattern is the first step towards breaking it.

14/10/2026

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13/10/2026

I speak to countless clients who have been called every name under the sun.

Parents who come to me frightened to disclose their mental health difficulties, not because they lack insight, but because those difficulties have been weaponised against them.

Having mental health difficulties does not automatically make you an unsafe or incapable parent.

The Family Court does not simply disregard mental health, nor should it. What matters is whether those difficulties affect your parenting capacity, your child’s welfare and your ability to meet their needs.

Is there a lack of insight? Are difficulties going unmanaged? Has behaviour directly impacted the children? Is there evidence of an identifiable safeguarding concern?

These are legitimate matters for the court to consider.

But having experienced anxiety, depression, PTSD or emotional distress does not, in itself, establish that you are a risk to your children.

And where your mental health is being weaponised against you, you are entitled to challenge that narrative.

You can explain to the court what I say in the video or even:

“My mental health has repeatedly been raised by the other parent as a concern. However, there is no corroborating evidence that my mental health has negatively impacted my ability to meet our children’s needs. I believe these allegations are being used to undermine my parenting rather than address any identifiable welfare concern.”

And where appropriate, explain what support you have accessed, how you manage your mental health and the steps you take to ensure your children’s needs are consistently met.

Remember that experiencing psychological distress does not automatically make you the problem. Particularly where that distress has arisen in the context of DA.

The court’s focus should remain on evidence, parenting capacity and the welfare of the children. Not labels. Not stigma. And certainly not unsubstantiated allegations dressed up as safeguarding concerns.