Amanda Bouch Consulting

Do you want to step up to leadership? Do you find certain people difficult to work with? Do you want

Amanda Bouch Consulting is dedicated to helping individuals to be more successful in their life. We focus on leadership - how you lead yourself, how you lead others and how you lead your organisation. The one thing you can control is yourself, so developing your skill, capabilities and confidence is critical to your success. Amanda posts links to her blog on these topics, comments and responses to

Operating as usual

Leadership for those new to a senior role, build confidence 14/03/2024

Stepping up to a senior leadership role makes particular demands on you.
Unfortunately, too often leaders don't let go of the tasks they were doing before, resulting in bottlenecks and frustration in their teams. The whole organisation underperforms when the leaders underperform.
I recently worked with a client who recognised that she needed to make deep changes to fully step into her new senior leadership role and contribute to the board and the organisation in ways that would fulfil her potential.
We started with a foundation of Positive Intelligence, and this made the coaching sessions particularly creative and enjoyable. The delight is that in our end-of-programme review, she was making great progress on all her goals and felt she had developed a way of sustaining that progress.
I love helping people to empower themselves in this way!
Full the brief case study see

Leadership for those new to a senior role, build confidence Executive & Leadership Coaching: Using Positive Intelligence to build skills and confidence to operate at a senior level - ABCoach


We've just marked . Is it just me or do you feel that the 'noise' around this day is much less now than it was pre-covid?
Why is that? Do people think that the job of raising awareness of the capabilities and circumstances of women is done? Is it because minority groups are making more noise?
The picture in the developed world may be very different from when International Women's Day was launched, but the clue is in the title - we're talking women around the world. I think there will always be struggles. Whether that is a woman you know, who is unable to take up opportunities at work due to commitments at home. Or whether that is a woman in a developing nation, who is struggling to grow food for her family in a drought, let alone earn any additional income.
Let us keep speaking up for women.

Building team morale, cohesion and commitment techniques 18/01/2024

Building team morale is often an issue for new teams, teams facing changes, teams facing difficult challenges. I enjoy working with teams to help them understand each other better and work more effectively and enjoyably together.
However my purpose is to enable and empower people to deal with their own issues by providing tools and techniques they can use in the workplace.
In this article I feature cohesion and commitment as essential for team morale. Read more here...

Building team morale, cohesion and commitment techniques Executive Coaching tips & ideas for building team morale, focus on cohesion and commitment among team members

Marlow FM 97.5 02/01/2024

I'm looking forward to being on Marlow FM! I'm joining Harris The Enterprise Doctor on the Business Show on Thursday at 2pm. You can listen live at . His other guest in Sheila Docker, we should have some good, helpful conversations.

Marlow FM 97.5 The website for the community radio station Marlow FM


Where could we find positivity in the polycrisis? Ipsos' most recent report coined this term of polycrisis and I think it perfectly encapsulates the feeling of too much stuff going on both globally and locally. As an individual, it can feel like there is little you can do to make a difference.
I feel like that when I get charity fundraising letter after charity fundraising letter, all with heart-wrenching desperate stories about the people they seek to help. Does my donation make a difference? I have to believe it does and that all the donations add up to make a real difference to the support those charities can provide.
However, I'm now thinking more about wanting to know I'm making a small difference by doing something practical. Feeling that I can be part of the solution for one crisis, will go a long way to feeling greater positivity in this polycrisis.
What do you think or do in this situation?


There's so much going on in politics, that it is increasing uncertainty. This is leading to increasing anxiety among many, with the inevitable negative impact on performance and well-being.
This adds to the challenges for line managers, who need to support their people and be aware of stress and other mental ill-health. Many don't know the signs, or if they do, they don't know how to address the issue. Managers are not therapists, but they can support their people with an attitude of caring and some basic tools.
Does your company offer mental health first aid? Do they encourage managers to attend?


Summer holiday period is coming to an end - how does that make you feel? Are you refreshed from a good break and raring to get stuck in at work? Or are you feeling a little jaded and tired?
My tip for those feeling jaded is to put more mini-breaks into your day and week. The saying 'a change is as good as a rest' has a lot of validity. If you make those short breaks something enjoyable and beneficial to you, you will find you come back to work refreshed.
Break up your day with whatever works best for you - it could be a short walk in the fresh air, a few minutes of meditation or mindful breathing, 10 minutes doing something creative, a power-nap, some exercise, .... The key is to schedule a fixed amount of time for this, so you know you will get adequate break, but will not impact on your work output.
What surprises many is that taking time off, actually makes them MORE effective. It clarifies the mind, brings you into the present and helps with decision-making. Whereas when you think you have to stick with some task, you often find thoughts going round and round in your head, you feel tired, more distracted ... all these things make you ineffective and drain your energy.
Take those breaks!


Chatting last night after our Wokingham Speakers meeting, we got to talking about why it is so hard to get people to show up to events. It seems that in this post-Covid environment there is more apathy about doing stuff.
People join Toastmasters speakers clubs because they want to improve their speaking skills and become more confident to stand up in front of an audience to give a talk or presentation. But the only way to achieve this goal is to come to meetings and participate, to give speeches and to evaluate others. So why aren't they showing up, when it's in their own interest to do so?
Any thoughts?


How has your week begun? Mine presented a few challenges to tackle this week. My plan is to schedule chunks of time in for these extras in the odd spaces in my calendar. That way I will make some progress with them and they won't weigh so heavily on me.
My optimist hopes they will turn out to be quicker to resolve than I thought!
What do you do in such situations?

Marlow FM 97.5 11/05/2023

I'll be a guest on The Marlow FM Business Show next Thursday from 2-3pm.
I'm invited to bring a business news topic that would be of interest - any suggestions?

Marlow FM 97.5 The website for the community radio station Marlow FM


Have you stopped to think about the reach of climate change?
I recently attended a webinar/discussion on coaching for climate change and now have a much better appreciation of the impact spreading to all aspects of our lives.
We are already experiencing agricultural, energy and financial impacts. What is most disturbing is that these are going to continue to affect lives globally as climate change is not being addressed fully and is potentially a process that cannot be reversed or stopped. Who knows if it can be slowed down?
When coaching clients these impacts may come up in our discussion, either as concerns raised by clients or in response to my questions about the wider implications of the issues the client has brought.
I think we have a responsibility to not only raise awareness and understanding, but also to consider what we can do to mitigate these impacts. What are your thoughts on this?


The scale of disaster from the earthquakes in Turkey and Syria may dwarf your personal challenges. But that doesn't mean that your challenges are any easier to deal with.
I run a mental fitness programme, which is designed to help you build habits of Positive Intelligence and shut that saboteur thinking down. It's app-based with weekly group check-ins for support and coaching. visit for more information and to register your interest in joining the next available programme.

Help 721 Challenge fund a nature reserve protecting endangered wildlife 24/01/2023

I was thinking about and then I saw the update from Nick Hollis who has just completed a solo trek to the South Pole. Now that is a resilient person!
Loads of delays for bad weather, after having had to postpose due to suffering from long Covid. Nick pushed himself to the limit to achieve this remarkable feat.
He's not even got properly warm yet, let alone put back some of the weight he lost on this gruelling trek, and he's already talking of the next challenge - to walk to the North Pole, starting in April.
Humans are phenomenal in what they can achieve, if they just choose to work at it.
You can see more about Nick's 7-2-1 challenges to raise funds for the World Land Trust on
Please share and encourage donations in honour of these amazing feats.

Help 721 Challenge fund a nature reserve protecting endangered wildlife Help Nick Hollis raise money to support World Land Trust

Resilience is key. Executive Coaching tips & ideas 12/01/2023

When you want to build your , start by thinking how you can replenish your energy in all 4 domains: Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual - check out the suggestions in this article.

Resilience is key. Executive Coaching tips & ideas Resilience is key to flourish is a fast-paced world. Executive Coaching tips to build your resilience. Amanda Bouch Consulting

Ascot & Bracknell Speakers 11/01/2023

Fine-tuning and learning a speech for our public speaking club meeting tonight. I've learnt so much from my membership, especially how to be concise and to the point! You only get 5-7 minutes for most speeches.
Looking forward to our first meeting of the year at Ascot & Bracknell Speakers.
If you're local and want to improve your speaking and communication skills come along to a meeting and experience how we can help. Ascot & Bracknell Speakers, Parks Centre, Nicholson Park, Bracknell RG12 9QN. We meet on 2nd & 4th Weds from 7:45pm.

Ascot & Bracknell Speakers If you want to improve your confidence in speaking before an audience – then you’ve found the right place. If you are working from home, why not take the opportunity to learn how to speak to audiences online?  Ascot & Bracknell Speakers is a public speaking club normally based in Bracknell (nea...

Resilience is key. Executive Coaching tips & ideas 10/01/2023

How is January for you so far? Are you struggling to get started again? We've all been working hard to feel like we're just standing still and this takes resilience.
Are you feeling resilient or fragile right now? I share some ideas on understanding your resilience levels, what drains and what boosts you. See

Resilience is key. Executive Coaching tips & ideas Resilience is key to flourish is a fast-paced world. Executive Coaching tips to build your resilience. Amanda Bouch Consulting

Positive Intelligence, mental fitness coaching for performance, well-being 31/10/2022

I gave a talk on Positive Intelligence at the Professionals Club and got great reception. Many people came up to me afterwards and said they recognised their own thinking in the mental saboteurs I described. They also appreciated the tips on how to regain self-control and then access the sage thinking modes, such as empathy and curiosity.
Some did the saboteur self-assessment and found it useful in identifying their dominant unhelpful thinking patterns.
For more on Positive Intelligence and how to build your mental fitness, see You will also find a link to the self-assessment on the page.

Positive Intelligence, mental fitness coaching for performance, well-being Positive Intelligence, Mental Fitness, Executive Coaching, Maidenhead, Marlow, Berkshire, Buckinghamshire - Amanda Bouch Consulting


Do you often feel the whole world is against you? Then you probably have a VICTIM saboteur.

If you tend to think that no-one understands you, and that terrible things always seem to happen to you, these are negative thoughts generated by the Victim saboteur.
If you tend to feel down much of the time and generally stressed. If you tend to be internally focussed and feel sorry for yourself, blaming circumstances or other people for your situation, this is the Victim saboteur.

You may get attention and support from others, but if you don’t take action to change things, they will stop trying to help. When you reply to their suggestions, ‘Yes, but …’ and reject the advice, they will feel frustrated, rejected, or helpless, and no longer offer help. This means that the Victim doesn’t get what it wants – attention and affection.

How to deal with the VICTIM saboteur
1. Acknowledge the Victim thinking and expose the lie that this approach will get you the attention you crave.
2. Do lots of PQ reps and/or deep breathing exercises to calm your mind and allow those victim thoughts to melt away.
3. Give yourself some unconditional love – you are worthy as you are.
4. Choose to take responsibility for yourself and explore the situation to understand it and develop some ideas on how you could tackle it.
5. Take action to change things, even if only your perception of the situation, so that you no longer have those negative, critical thoughts that put you down.
You’ll need to work at this, changing negative thought patterns and creating the habit of self-command and positive thinking will take time. Keep working at it and notice small improvements, to encourage you to keep working at it.

For more information on a mental fitness programme to control those saboteurs and learn positive action, see

Positive Intelligence, mental fitness coaching for performance, well-being 21/09/2022

Do you always need to get everything right?

This is the STICKLER saboteur – perfectionism and the need for order and organisation taken too far.

If you are someone who …
• is always punctual (or rather early)
• methodical to get it all perfect
• stresses over other people’s work because they won’t get it ‘right’
• takes ages crafting documents, emails, etc
• hates being rushed and worries about errors
• corrects others’ work and often takes on too much because you can’t trust them to do it to your standards
… then the Stickler is dominating your thinking and stressing you out.

The Stickler is telling you to get it perfect, so no-one can criticise you. Stickler is also saying that others are too lax, and you need to be more organised so you can get things done correctly and tidy up their work.
But this leads to feelings of frustration and disappointment that things are not perfect. It fuels anxiety that you have to think of everything to get it right and worry that others will mess up.

The impact is often that things take too long as you strive to get it perfect but miss the deadline! Colleagues stop checking their work as they know you’ll find something to correct anyway, so you end up with even more to do. Your critical tone can be off-putting for others, and cause resentment, self-doubt, and resignation.

1. These impacts are the opposite of that perfection that the Stickler is trying to achieve, and you need to expose that lie.
2. Apply the 80:20 rule – at most 20% of the tasks need the highest possible quality, for the rest ‘good enough’ is just right. Identify those high-quality tasks and for the rest work to ‘good enough’.
3. Notice the Stickler emotions in your body, eg suppressed anger, frustration, resentment, and do PQ reps or deep breathing exercises to calm those emotions, before doing or saying anything.
4. Develop your positive approach: praise what’s right, accept ‘good enough’ both from yourself and others, allow yourself to be human and imperfect

For more information on a mental fitness programme to control those saboteurs and learn positive action, see

Positive Intelligence, mental fitness coaching for performance, well-being Positive Intelligence, Mental Fitness, Executive Coaching, Maidenhead, Marlow, Berkshire, Buckinghamshire - Amanda Bouch Consulting


Are you constantly thinking about other things? Busy doing stuff, but rarely content with the current activity? This is the Restless saboteur at work.

Restless seeks novelty and excitement, not comfort and safety, is easily distracted and can get too scattered. If you are always busy, juggling many things, and yet seeking new activities, you can find that you never stop and struggle to sleep well, which drains your energy.

If you find yourself thinking, “Why can’t anyone keep up with me?” Or have a fear of missing out on other experiences. These are Restless symptoms, and they leave you feeling impatient and somehow empty and anxious.

Restless doesn’t like to dwell on the unpleasant, including negative feelings and pushes you to move on, but the impact of this is that issues are not dealt with. For relationships, this is unsatisfactory for the other person and unresolved issues can fester and create rifts.

How to quieten the Restless saboteur
1) Recognise the impact of Restless: You may think you are a brilliant multi-tasker, but research shows that it takes longer when you are bouncing between tasks. When you have many things on your mind, this can lead to stress and it’s likely that none will be done well.
2) When you are feeling restless, STOP, takes some deep breaths to regain your self-control and feel centred and calm.
3) Spot the lie the Restless saboteur is telling you. E.g, “Life is too short”, “Don’t want to miss out”, “Move on and you’ll find something better”.
4) Challenge the lie by choosing to stay focused on the present, take full enjoyment from what you are doing right now, notice the small details and how fulfilling this experience is. Especially if you are with someone, give them your full attention and notice how they respond and what this does for your relationship.

For more information on a mental fitness programme to control those saboteurs and learn positive action, see


Are you so focused on helping and pleasing other people that you have lost sight of your own needs?

This is the Pleaser saboteur at work.

The Pleaser has a strong need to be liked by people and tries to earn this liking by helping, pleasing, rescuing, or flattering them. It needs frequent reassurance from others and doesn’t like to disturb the harmony by expressing own needs. But can be resentful, when others don’t consider those needs.

Do you find it impossible to say ‘No’ in case you offend the other person? But then end up taking on far too much. This is overwhelming and stressful, and in the end, you can’t deliver all those ‘Yeses’ and let people down. Which is particularly stressful as it’s the opposite of what the Pleaser promised! Now they won’t like you because you haven’t pleased them.

How to quieten the Pleaser saboteur
1) Recognise the lies of the Pleaser: “I’m doing this for them, and that’s selfless”.
Actually, we know that we do want something in return – liking, appreciation, reciprocation.
2) Remember the impact of not saying ‘No’ and taking on too much – you then can’t deliver and let people down. This is the opposite of what you want.
3) Regain calm and disperse any negative emotions through deep breathing or PQ reps, until you feel connected within yourself and whole.
4) As a whole person appreciate yourself and love yourself unconditionally.
5) Take care of your own needs, so you then have the energy and capacity to help others simply for the joy of giving (not to earn liking).

For more information on a mental fitness programme to control those saboteurs and learn positive action, see


Are you constantly worried about doing things right? Full of anxiety that you might not spot problems and lurking dangers? Doubting both yourself and others?
These are symptoms of the Hyper-Vigilant saboteur.

When you are constantly living with the fear that things will go wrong, this drains your energy and is a hard way to live. Your body reacts to this kind of stress by generating cortisol and this affects your mental capacity to deal with the situation …. And you get sucked into a negative cycle of worry, finding no answer, worrying more.

What is the lie of the Hyper-Vigilant saboteur? “Life is full of dangers, and if you don’t look out for them, who will?”

‘Crying wolf!’ – when you frequently highlight dangers, that turn out to be not an issue, others stop listening. They may even start to avoid you, as the anxiety is too much for them.

How to quieten the Hyper-Vigilant saboteur
1) Recognise the lie the Hyper-Vigilant is telling you and counteract any panic by asserting that your safety and security is best achieved by thinking through the situation calmly. When you are in control of self, you can deal with the situation.
2) Regain self-control by doing some PQ reps or deep breathing, focusing on the body. This means you have to be in the ‘here and now’ (not worrying about ‘what ifs’). Keep doing this until you feel calm, centred, and safe.
3) Notice when you are in this calm and peaceful state, you have the mental capacity to solve any problems and deal with the situation.
4) Remember this next time the Hyper-Vigilant raises concerns and tell it to shut up as you have proof that the calm you is the one that keeps people safe.
5) Keep working at this, as Hyper-Vigilant is persistent with its lies!

For more information on a mental fitness programme to control those saboteurs and learn positive action, see


Do you take a logical, rational approach to everything and then wonder how others can disagree?

When you see things as either rational and valid, or irrational and therefore not worth paying attention to, you miss out on a huge part of life. We are human beings, not computers, and as human beings we have emotions, which influence our thinking and behaviour just as much as the facts.

The Hyper-Rational saboteur would have you believe that feelings are just a distraction, getting in the way of quality thinking and analysis. It tells you to suppress or ignore your own feelings. This is so important to the Hyper-Rational saboteur, that it becomes difficult for you to recognise and express your emotions. Other people then perceive you as cold, distant, and intellectually arrogant.

This has an impact on your relationships, as you find it difficult to connect emotionally. Others want the richness of both intellectual and emotional connection and will not invest in a relationship with you. So, you may find you feel misunderstood and alone. They may feel intimidated.

How to quieten the Hyper-Rational saboteur
1) Recognise the lie of the Hyper-Rational, “I’ll help you make better decisions”. Now you know that emotions are valid data, you appreciate the need to include this information in your thinking.
2) Rational thinking is just one tool. To make the best possible decisions we each need a toolkit, with various tools to address all kinds of situations. So, add to your thinking repertoire with other tools and learn when to use each tool. For example, relationships are not rational, you need empathy and non-judgemental curiosity to discover what is really going on for the other person.
3) Work on noticing and recognising emotions. For yourself, come out of your head and into your body and notice sensations indicating emotions, eg tense muscles from anxiety, warm glow from love, light-heartedness from joy. For others, pay attention to body-language and tone of voice to spot the emotion, and as appropriate, ask them how they are feeling to see if you got it right.

For more information on a mental fitness programme to control those saboteurs and learn positive action, see


Are you constantly focused on achieving results?
Do you feel the only thing is to be winning? Never letting up, or allowing yourself to coast?
On reflection, would you admit that your competitive nature leads to workaholic tendencies as you seek to achieve your goals?
Is failure at a task, or even just being average, unacceptable to you?
If you recognise these thoughts and feelings, you have a Hyper-Achiever saboteur.

Achievement is good, but Hyper-Achiever takes this too far, it says, “you must be the best at what your do, if you can’t be outstanding, don’t bother!” When this is true for you, you must work super-hard to achieve, ignoring everything else, as that will distract you from your goal.
Relationships suffer when your focus is on work. Personal relationships, as you have no time for them. Work relationships, as your colleagues get that it’s about your achievement, not our, and feel used. You suffer too as you pin your self-respect only on your achievements, not on who you are as a person.

Impact of Hyper-Achiever saboteur
Your happiness is short-lived, as soon as you have celebrated one success, you are moving on to achieve the next. Self-acceptance is always conditional on your results, and you only feel worthy of love when you are achieving.
You may not invest in a relationship, unless you think it will be awesome. You fear the vulnerability of closeness, as others would see that you are not as perfect as the image you present. You could lose touch with deeper feelings and deeper sense of self, as you constantly push for the next success.

How to tame the Hyper-Achiever
1) Recognise the lie that ‘life is all about achieving results and success, and without that you are nothing’.
2) Replace this with a helpful belief. E.g., ‘I am enough as I am and worthy of love, achieving good results is part of what I do in a balanced approach to work and life.’
3) Curb workaholic tendencies by scheduling a reasonable amount of time to work and sticking to this. This gives you time for the rest of your life, relationships, and wellbeing.
4) When you notice stressed thinking and emotions, stop, and take deep breaths to regain calm, focus on your helpful belief and re-engage in a more balanced way.

For more on saboteurs and positive thinking see:


Do you feel anxious when you are not in control of what is happening?
Worried that if you don’t do it or organise it, nothing will happen? Do you find it easier to just get on and do it, rather than rely on others to get things done?

If so, you have a Controller saboteur.
The Controller tells you that only you can keep things working properly and deliver results. The Controller tells you that others need pushing and guiding to do things and that you are helping by being the one to pull everything together and organise people. If you don’t do this, it’ll be chaos!
This puts a lot more pressure on you and gives you more work, and you think you are doing the others a favour – the price you pay for getting results. However, others resent you taking over, and this can damage relationships. Also, when you take control, others stop bothering to take initiative and give of their best, so you lose out on their high performance and motivation, and potentially even better results.

We probably all have a bit of Controller running our thoughts, “If I put in enough effort, I can control my life and things will all work out.” But this is a lie, we can never control life, and the lack of control causes us stress. So, what can we do about it? We need to learn that we can’t control the wind and waves, but we CAN learn to surf those waves. At first, we’ll fall in and revert to our habits, but if we keep learning to surf, we can become experts at riding those waves.

How do we learn to surf the waves?
First, we need to calm our anxieties and regain self-command, this quietens the mind and puts us in a position to make positive decisions. Use proven techniques such as deep breathing and focusing the mind on the body (not thoughts) to quieten the saboteur voice. Do this for a minimum of two minutes and you will notice the difference. When you feel calm, you can view the situation from a positive, enabling perspective that allows you to cope with things and take action for positive results.

For more information on a mental fitness programme to control those saboteurs and learn positive action, see


Do you have an AVOIDER saboteur?

Do you hate conflict and find yourself saying ‘yes, ok’ when you don’t really want to?
Or saying nothing and appearing to agree when you disagree, but don’t want to rock the boat by speaking up?
Or find lots of other things to do instead of tackling that bigger or more difficult task?
Or put off saying something or doing things in the hope that the problem will just go away?
These are all symptoms of the Avoider saboteur.

The Avoider tells you that it is better to keep the peace, that you are the hero for not creating a scene and letting the other person have their way. The Avoider says conflict is a bad thing and if you disagree or say no, you will hurt the other person’s feelings and upset your relationship. But at what expense?

How do you feel when you give in to others? Do you resent them? Feel unfulfilled? Feel put down or inferior to others because you let them win every time? Do you feel guilty that you haven’t got on with that difficult task? Do you feel anxious about those things you have avoided, but are still on your mind? Are you constantly worried that your harmony and harmony in relationships will be disrupted?

It is time to challenge that Avoider saboteur. Point out the longer-term impact of avoiding:
• By not tacking the small things, they fester and become big things and much more difficult to deal with or to live with
• When you always say yes, you can’t do all those things and end up letting people down and this destroys trust and gives you a reputation for being soft and unreliable
• Denying the conflicts and negatives prevents you from resolving them or learning from them
• Feeling numb to pain, impacts your other emotions too and you don’t live life to the full

You may have learnt the Avoider tactic as a way of dealing with things and keeping the peace in your childhood and it is well embedded in your thinking and behaviour. This means you will have to put conscious effort into changing this thinking pattern.

Take action
As soon as you notice Avoider thinking, mentally say ‘Stop!’ and ask yourself if you are feeling negative emotions, such as anxiety or resentment. If so, this is your saboteur in action. Break the thinking pattern by focusing all your attention on something physical like touch, or how your feet feel in your shoes, and breathe deeply. A couple of minutes of this calms the body and mind, which enables you to think positively about the situation and take a more helpful course of action.

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