Helen Darby, The Voice of Midlife Evolution

Lockdown changed my life.

Not because I suddenly found myself.

First, I had a meltdown.

Everything I’d spent years holding together finally unravelled.

At the time it felt terrifying.

Looking back, I think it was the beginning of coming home to myself.

Once the dust settled, life became incredibly simple.

There was nowhere to rush to.

Nobody needed a version of me that was performing or proving anything.

For the first time in years, I had space.

I wasn’t lonely.

I was alone.

And those are two very different things.

I ran 5k, often.

I walked for miles and really noticed what was around me. I learned to look up and my world became so much bigger and more beautiful.

I learned something new almost every day.

I became fascinated by psychology, spirituality and understanding why we become who we become.

I ate in a way that made my body feel good.

But the biggest thing I discovered wasn’t in a book.

It was me.

Not the manager.

Not the daughter.

Not the mum.

ME.

I’d always said, “I don’t believe in a God. I believe in myself.”

If I’m honest, before lockdown I wasn’t completely sure I believed my own words.

During lockdown, I realised I did.

Not because I suddenly had all the answers.

Because I learned to trust myself.

To enjoy my own company.

To appreciate who I was without needing to achieve anything.

Looking back, I don’t think my meltdown was the opposite of finding myself.

I think it was the doorway.

I couldn’t hear my own voice until everything else went quiet and I’m so very grateful for that time and space 🩷

Throwback pic from my first brand shots✨

Last night I had a dream, I’ve never dreamt very often, though they have been more frequent since leaving my job, that’s a whole other insight!

Anyway in this dream I was sitting on my bed, cutting my own hair with nail scissors 👀

Absolutely butchering it.

Now, my hair takes forever to grow. It’s finally a length I love and I’m growing it even longer so even in my dream I was thinking, “What on earth am I doing?”

Then a young woman appeared. She worked in an expensive hair salon and needed somewhere to stay.

I said she could stay
but there were conditions.

No men.
No partying.
Respect my home.

In return, she’d fix my hair.

The more Ive thought about this dream, the more Ive realised it wasn’t really about hair.

How often do we try to solve the biggest problems in our lives with the wrong tools?

People-pleasing.
Over-functioning.
Keeping everyone else happy while quietly abandoning ourselves.

It’s a bit like trying to cut your hair with nail scissors!

My dream felt like a reminder that the woman I am now gets to choose better tools.

Tools that help me create a life I genuinely enjoy.

A life with more peace.
More boundaries.
More self-trust.

What if healing isn’t about becoming someone new.

What if it’s about finally becoming the woman you’ve been underneath it all.

So here’s my question for you

Who are you now, and what do you want the rest of your life to look like?

Be honest, then you get to find the tools you need right now.

Helen 🩷

I took this photo the other day because I wanted to capture the dog enjoying his walk and then I noticed my shadow.

And I stopped.

Because sometimes we’re so focused on the next thing we’re working towards that we forget to notice how far we’ve already come.

I felt proud. Not just because my body has changed, but because I know the work I’ve put into looking after myself differently.

Small choices. Small shifts. Showing up for myself.

You don’t just make a decision when you do the thing, you’re also making a decision when you ignore or don’t do the thing.
I didn’t leave my job because I hated it.
I left because I’d reached the point where staying was costing me more than leaving.
For months, I wrestled with the decision.
The sensible voice told me to stay.
The fearful voice reminded me of the bills and the security.
The people-pleaser worried about letting other people down.
And then there was a quieter voice.
The one that kept asking
“What if there’s another way to live?”
That question refused to leave me.
So eventually, I stopped asking what everyone else thought I should do and started asking what felt right for me.
Was it scary?
Absolutely.
Did I have every answer?
Not even close.
But here’s what I know now
The moment you start making decisions that honour the woman you’ve become, something shifts.
You stop living on autopilot.
You stop waiting for permission.
You stop convincing yourself that “this is just how life is.”
You begin creating a life that actually feels like yours.
Leaving my job wasn’t the bravest thing I’ve ever done.
Giving myself permission to choose myself was.
And that has been one of the most liberating decisions of my life.
🩷
What decision have you been avoiding because it feels easier to stay where you are?
You don’t need to answer me.
Just give yourself permission to answer honestly.
Because every life that feels free, joyful and fulfilling starts with one honest decision 🩷

The thoughts behind the choice of my new profile photo…

I looked through hundreds of pictures of myself.

Some were more polished.

Some had smoother hair.

Some felt more “perfect.”

But I kept coming back to this one.

Not because it’s perfect…

Because it feels like me.

My hair isn’t smooth.

It’s a little windswept.

A little imperfect.

But I’m smiling.

I look relaxed.

Happy.

Comfortable in my own skin.

For a long time, I thought I needed everything to be polished before I was ready.

The perfect plan.
The perfect business.
The perfect photo.

Now I realise that perfection isn’t what people connect with, nor where I’m happiest.

People connect with honesty.

This photo reminds me of the woman I am.

Not perfect.
Myself.

And that’s enough. 🩷