EJT Coaching

Can we bust a myth that's costing women over 40 their strength?

"I don't want to lift heavy, I don't want to get bulky."

I hear it constantly, and I understand where it comes from. Most of us grew up being told women should do light weights, high reps, and lots of cardio. So that's what we do, for decades.

Here's the problem: from our 40s, falling oestrogen speeds up muscle loss, and bone density starts to decline with it. Light weights and endless repetitions simply don't give the body a strong enough reason to hold onto muscle. Lifting heavier does.

And the bulky fear? Building big, visible muscle takes years of deliberate, dedicated training and a hormonal environment we simply don't have in perimenopause. What lifting heavy actually builds is different: muscle that protects your metabolism, bones that stay strong, joints that cope with life, and a kind of quiet confidence that spills into everything else.

"Heavy" doesn't mean scary barbells on day one. It means a weight where the last two or three reps genuinely feel like work. That's it. It scales to wherever you are right now.

I watch women discover this in my gym every week, and the change in body and in belief is remarkable.

Be honest with me: were you taught to stick to light weights too? What's the heaviest thing you've lifted lately (suitcases and grandchildren count)?

Can we talk about perfectionism for a minute? 👇

Because it’s one of the biggest things that stops people making progress with their fitness. Not lack of motivation. Not lack of time. Perfectionism.

The idea that if a session doesn’t go exactly to plan, it wasn’t worth doing. That if you didn’t hit your pace, lift your target weight, or complete every rep, you’ve somehow failed.

You haven’t.

Here’s the truth. Every single run and every single strength session is a learning opportunity, whether it goes well or not.

Ran slower than planned? You learned something about how your body responds to fatigue, stress, or poor sleep.

Couldn’t lift what you lifted last week? You learned that your body needed something different today.

Had to cut a session short? You learned to listen to your body rather than override it, and that is a skill, not a failure.

The sessions that don’t go to plan are not wasted. They are data. They tell you something. And the ability to adapt, adjust and keep going is what separates people who make long term progress from people who quit when things get hard.

Progress is never linear. It never has been and it never will be.

So next time a session doesn’t go the way you wanted, don’t quit. Ask yourself what it’s telling you. Adapt. Adjust. Show up again.

That’s not failure. That’s exactly how it’s supposed to work. 💛

I want to talk to the women who've been quietly putting off the gym for years.

Not because you don't care about your health, you do. But because commercial gyms can feel like they were designed for someone else. The crowds. The mirrors. The feeling that everyone knows what they're doing except you. The sense that you should get fit BEFORE you're allowed to show up.

I hear some version of this from almost every woman who walks through my door. And it's exactly why my gym is private.

When you train with me, it's just you and me. No one waiting for the squat rack. No one watching. No one to compare yourself to. Just a quiet, welcoming space and a programme built specifically for your body and your hormones, because training in your 40s and beyond, through perimenopause, needs a different approach, and most gyms simply don't offer it.

You don't need to know what a single piece of equipment is called. You don't need to be "gym fit" first. You just need to turn up. I'll do the rest.

1:1 sessions are £30 an hour, and 6 week progression blocks start from £180. If you'd like to come and see the space before deciding anything, book a free discovery chat, no pressure, no hard sell: calendly.com/emmarealpt/discovery-chat

What's honestly kept you away from the gym until now? Tell me below, no judgment here, ever.

Can I be honest about something? The school summer holidays used to play havoc with my training every single year.

The structure vanishes overnight. Suddenly you're refereeing arguments at 7am instead of getting your run in, every day is different, and the neat little plan you were following falls apart by about day four.

And then the really damaging bit happens, the all or nothing thinking. "Well, that's ruined. I'll start again properly in September." Six weeks of nothing. Every single year. And every September I'd be starting from scratch, wondering why it felt so hard.

What finally fixed it wasn't more discipline. It was lowering the bar on purpose.

Now I give every client the same holiday framework, and I use it myself: the minimum viable week. Two short strength sessions, twenty minutes, living room, kids can even join in. One run, any distance, any pace, whenever there's a gap. Walk lots. That's the whole plan.

It sounds almost too small to matter. But the woman who does that for six weeks arrives in September strong and ready to build. The woman who waited for perfect conditions starts from zero, again.

Something is always, always better than nothing. Especially in your 40s, when rebuilding takes longer than it used to.

So tell me, what does the six week holiday stretch usually do to your training? I'd love to know what you're up against.

A gentle nudge for the runners: if you've entered a September or October race, your training block doesn't start when the school run does. It starts now.

Twelve weeks out from most autumn halves and 10Ks lands in early July. I know, summer holidays are looming, routine is about to go out the window, and training feels like the thing to pick back up "when things settle down." But the women who arrive at their autumn start line feeling strong are the ones who built through the summer, even imperfectly.

That's exactly what my online run coaching is for. A personal plan built around your actual life, the holiday week, the hormones, the days you're running on four hours' sleep. A weekly catch up so we adapt as we go instead of you abandoning a rigid plan by week three. And optional strength work alongside, because strong runners stay off the physio's table.

It's fully online, so you can be anywhere in the UK. Four weeks from £70, and it starts with a free, no pressure discovery chat.

So tell me, which race is in your diary this autumn? Pop it in the comments and I'll tell you exactly when your build should start.

The heat, the low energy, the routine that’s completely gone out of the window. Sound familiar? You’re not alone!

So here’s what’s actually helping right now 👇

☀️ THE HEAT
Run early morning or evening when it’s cooler. Slow your pace down, heat makes every run feel harder than it is, so ditch the watch and run to effort. Hydrate before you even lace up. Same goes for strength sessions, train indoors if you can, or take it outside earlier in the day.

⚡ NO ENERGY
Before you push harder, check the basics. Are you sleeping enough? Eating enough? Drinking enough water? Low energy is usually your body asking for something, not a sign you’ve lost your fitness. If strength sessions feel like a drag right now, drop the weight and focus on movement quality instead.

📅 ROUTINE’S GONE
Stop waiting for the perfect week to come back, it’s not coming 😄 Pick ONE session this week. Just one, a run or a strength session. Put it in your diary like an appointment and show up for it. Routine is rebuilt one session at a time, not all at once.

If you’re dealing with all three, be kind to yourself. Summer throws everyone off. The goal right now is just to keep moving, however that looks 💛

There's a conversation I have with almost every new client, and it always starts the same way.

She sits down, usually a bit apologetic, which breaks my heart, and says: "I'm doing everything right and nothing is working."

She's running more. She's cut back on food. She's exhausted, sleeping badly, and her body is changing in ways that feel completely out of her control. And she's convinced it must be her fault. Not enough willpower. Not enough discipline.

It is never that.

The training approach that worked in her 30s simply wasn't built for her hormones now. In perimenopause, doing MORE of what used to work often makes things worse, more fatigue, more injuries, more frustration. What works is doing things differently: proper strength training, running at genuinely easy efforts, and treating recovery as part of the plan instead of a failure.

The moment that clicks for a client is honestly one of my favourite parts of this job. The relief on her face when she realises she was never the problem.

Does this sound familiar? What's the thing you've been doing "right" that's quietly stopped working?

If I could change one thing about how women over 40 train for running, it wouldn't be their running at all.

It would be what happens between the runs.

Here's the pattern I see constantly: a runner in her 40s picks up a ni**le. Calf, Achilles, hip, knee. She rests it, it settles, she builds back up, and a few months later it's back, or something new goes. She starts to believe her body just can't handle running anymore.

Her body can handle running. What it can't handle anymore is running with no strength work underneath it.

From our 40s, declining oestrogen accelerates muscle loss and changes how our tendons and bones cope with load. The training that worked fine at 32 leaves gaps at 47. Strength training fills those gaps, it's the single most protective thing a runner over 40 can do, and most of us were never taught that.

The good news: it takes far less than people think. Two 30-minute sessions a week. A squat, a hinge, a push, a pull, some calf raises. Heavy enough to feel like work by the last rep.

That's not a punishment on top of your running. That's what keeps you running.

Be honest with me, are you strength training at the moment, or is it the thing that always falls off the list first?

Getting out of your comfort zone. Let’s talk about it. 💛

I preach it to my clients all the time. Try something new. Don’t let fear of being a beginner stop you from starting.

And then I go and sign up to a netball group. 😄

Eep. 🙈

I haven’t played since school. I have no idea what standard everyone else will be. I will almost certainly make a fool of myself.

And I’m doing it anyway. 💛

Because nothing grows inside your comfort zone. Not fitness. Not confidence. Not joy.

Every one of my clients has had a moment of eep before starting something new. Before their first PT session. Before their first run. Before walking into a space where they felt like a beginner.

And every one of them will tell you it was worth it. 💛

So whatever your eep is right now, do it anyway. 😊

I’ll be over here trying to remember the rules of netball. 😄💛

Drop me a DM if you need someone in your corner. 👇