Harm;ony Haven Counselling

Let’s encourage all men to speak up and know they are not alone💙❤️
Together we can make a difference 💙❤️

Mental health is treated so differently to physical health and this is the society we live in and the stigma we need to change.

Stigma arises due to lack of education, awareness, lack of perception and the nature of mental health. People with mental health problems suffer due to the stigma.
Resulting in discrimination, which can make their difficulties worse and make it harder to recover.

This water bottle from home bargains is worth £0.50.

The same bottle at a hotel is £3, and at an airport, £5.

Same bottle, same brand. The only thing that changes is the place. Each place gives a different value to the same item.

When you are in an environment that drags you down and you are made to feel worthless,it’s time to change places, don't stay there!!

Have the courage to change your circle of influence. Go to a place that sees your value.

Surround yourself with people who KNOW YOU INSIDE OUT AND YOUR WORTH! Never settle for anything less than you deserve 👏

Mental Health Awareness Week runs from Monday 9 - Sunday 15 May and is the UK’s national week to raise awareness of mental health, hosted by the Mental Health Foundation.
The theme for this year is 'Loneliness'.

Loneliness affects millions of people in the UK every year and contributes significantly to poor mental health. One in four adults feel lonely some or all of the time.

loneliness has been exacerbated by the pandemic. Make sure you are checking in not only with others but also with yourself ❤️

You Don’t Just Lose Someone Once.

You don’t just lose someone once.
You lose them when you close your eyes at night.
And as you open them each morning.

You lose them throughout the day.
An unused coffee cup.
An empty chair.
A pair of boots no longer there.

You lose them as the sun sets.
And darkness closes in.
You lose them as you wonder why.
Staring at a star lit sky.

You lose them on the big days.
Anniversaries.
Birthdays.
Graduations.
Holidays.
Weddings.
And the regular days too.

You lose them in a song they used to sing.
The scent of their cologne.
A slice of their favorite pie.
You lose them in conversations you will never have.
And all the words unsaid.

You lose them in all the places they’ve been.
And all the places they longed to go.
You lose them in what could have been.
And all the dreams you shared.

You lose them as the seasons change.
The snow blows.
The flowers blossom.
The grass grows.
The leaves fall.

You lose them again and again.
Day after day.
Month after month.
Year after year.

You lose them as you pick up the broken pieces.
And begin your life anew.
You lose them when you realize.
This is your new reality.
They are never coming back.
No matter how much
You miss them or
Need them.
No matter how hard you pray.
They are gone.
And you must go on.
Alone.

Time marches on, carrying them further and further way.
You lose them as your hair whitens and your body bends with age.
Your memory fades.
And the details begin to blur.
Their face stares back at you from a faded photograph.
Someone you used to know.

You think you might have loved them once.
A long time ago.
Back then.
When you were whole.

You don’t just lose someone once.
You lose them every day.
Over and over again.
For the rest of your life.

Bereavement, grief and loss can cause many different symptoms and they affect people in different ways. There's no right or wrong way to feel.

We often find ourselves feeling anxious, fearful, beating ourselves up of all the things we have yet to achieve, which in turn, can lead to feelings of low mood, a sense of worthlessness and lack of motivation.

But what about all the things you have achieved, what about all the things you have overcome.
What about all those hardships and challenges you have faced.
Days where you didn’t/couldn’t get out of bed, yet you found the strength to push yourself.

Achievements are achievements no matter what. So Remind yourself of the journey you have been on. You are a warrior and never forget that❤️

When you stop looking for someone to complete you. Your self awareness grows , and this is when you realise that only you can ultimately do the work.

That’s when the magic happens. That’s when you grow, that’s when you become you ❤️

Often, when it comes to mental health issues and therapy in general, people like to think it is linear……..if you have an issue, then you talk about it and then you go back to healing. But healing can be very messy as can therapy. You can have many ups and downs and there will be days where you will feel better, but you may also have days where you can feel low.

Therapy also does not mean everything is linear. Sometimes, after your session you may feel drained, vulnerable and upset and you may feel therapy has set you back a bit. This is completely normal.

However, Mental health Therapy can be an effective treatment for a host of mental and emotional problems. Simply talking about your thoughts and feelings with a supportive person can often make you feel better. It can be very healing, in and of itself, to voice your worries or talk about something that’s weighing on your mind. And it feels good to be listened to—to know that someone else cares about you and wants to help.
While it can be very helpful to talk about your problems to close friends and family members, sometimes you need help that the people around you aren’t able to provide. When you need extra support, an outside perspective, or some expert guidance, talking to a therapist or counselor can help. While the support of friends and family is important, therapy is different. Therapists are professionally-trained listeners who can help you get to the root of your problems, overcome emotional challenges, and make positive changes in your life.

Therapy can be time consuming and challenging, as uncomfortable emotions and thoughts often arise as part of the treatment process. However, therapy provides long-lasting benefits beyond symptom relief. Therapy gives you the tools for transforming your life—for relating better to others, building the life you want for yourself, and coping with whatever curveballs are thrown your way.

Defense mechanisms are psychological strategies that are unconsciously used to protect a person from anxiety arising from unacceptable thoughts or feelings.

We use defense mechanisms to protect ourselves from feelings of anxiety or guilt, which arise because we feel threatened, or because our id or superego becomes too demanding.

Here are a few common defense mechanisms:

Denial
Repression
Projection
Displacement
Regression
Sublimation
Rationalization
Reaction Formation
Introjection
Identification with the Aggressor

Defense mechanisms operate at an unconscious level and help ward off unpleasant feelings (i.e., anxiety) or make good things feel better for the individual.

There will come a time when you
have a negative experience with
someone and instead of it triggering
your trauma, it triggers your healing.

This is when you are reminded of how far you have come and the work you have done to rebuild yourself❤️

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP GOALS

- Communicate always
- Talk about things, the good and the bad.
- Build trust.
- Be honest.
- Be faithful.
- Make time for one another.
- Leave the past to the past.
- Know that having arguments are normal.
- Know that you won’t always be happy.
- Don’t try change one another
- Appreciate and accept their flaws.
- Appreciate one another.
- Become best friends.
-Respect each other
-Date nights
-Appreciate the little things
-Validate one another
-Accept one another
- Lastly, love each other unconditionally and never allow anyone to become between you

What are you carrying?

Baggage can have an intense effect on our mental health, throttling out brain function and impacting our life’s course. It is carried by many of us, who have experienced traumatic and emotionally scarring during the course of our lives. Often, these events are traumatic enough for them to not leave our chain of thoughts for many years to come. This is called emotional baggage, meaning that you are dealing with residual emotional issues and harbouring pain, sadness, regret and anger.

But here’s the thing……….you are allowed to unpack. You are allowed to leave that box behind. You are allowed to put yourself first.

Don’t allow your past or others to define you. Unpack those boxes one at a time and become the best version of yourself. You are not alone❤️