10/10/2026
*27/09/26*
This one has all the ingredients of a classic Sunday League away day: limited numbers, a few sore heads, a debutant striker stealing the show, and plenty of goals. I've cleaned up the grammar, tightened the wording, and kept the humour and match report style intact.
Pilgrim 1 - 10 CMOB
Preparations weren't ideal once again this week, with the Gaffa having limited options at his disposal. Despite that, we were still hopeful of getting a result against a strong Pilgrim side.
There were a few lads getting on the beers before kick-off, but most still made the effort to turn up 🍻
Unfortunately, Liam Hooks wasn't one of them, but thankfully Luke Fletcher was able to step in between the sticks 🧤
The Gaffa made a quick detour through Sherford to pick up Curtis Wood and Lewis Clarke, with both looking a little worse for wear 🤕🤣
We also managed to sign veteran striker James Yates just in time for his debut 💪🏻
Another positive before kick-off was seeing Luke Fletcher finally fit into the goalkeeper kit. A lovely moment for all involved 👀👏
With the personnel available, the Gaffa decided to shake things up tactically. The diamond formation made a return, despite being something we've struggled to get our heads around in the past 💎
The opening exchanges were fairly even, with both sides looking to take control of the game.
It was CMOB who struck first.
A Jake Evans corner wasn't dealt with by the Pilgrim keeper, and the loose ball fell kindly to Joe Borockzy inside the box. Joe put his foot through it and fired us into a 1-0 lead 🚀
Next up was debutant James Yates, who turned his defender with ease and appeared to be through into the box before being chopped down. Somehow, the referee saw nothing wrong and waved play on.
Moments later, Yates was causing problems again. Receiving the ball on the edge of the area, he fake-shot past a couple of defenders before forcing the keeper into an excellent one-on-one save 👏
Yates wouldn't be denied for long.
A loose pass at the back was pounced on by Nick Baldwin, who slipped Yates through on goal. This time, he made no mistake and coolly doubled CMOB's advantage 🥅⚽️
Pilgrim then suffered a blow when their centre-half landed awkwardly on the always-perfect Staddy playing fields. Unfortunately, it looked like a serious knee injury, and he was forced to leave the pitch 🚑
We wish him a speedy recovery.
Pilgrim pulled a goal back shortly afterwards when their left-back whipped a dangerous ball across the face of goal. Porko attempted to head clear, but the ball skimmed off his bald head and fell kindly for a Pilgrim midfielder to tap home past Fletch 🧑🦲
Having let leads slip too often recently, we were determined to restore our cushion.
Distance was exactly what we gained when Jake Evans won a free kick on the edge of the box. Jake stepped up and unleashed an unstoppable effort into the back of the net 🤯
The Gaffa then played Nick Baldwin clean through one-on-one with the keeper, but rather than finishing off a lovely move, Nick appeared to opt for a back-pass instead.
Soon after, Yates was at it again. Joe Borockzy slipped him down the side of the defender, and after toying with his marker, Yates expertly curled an effort into the corner to make it four.
CMOB were delighted to head into half-time 4-1 up, having played some excellent football despite the conditions ☔️
Straight after the break, CMOB were back on the front foot and quickly forced a corner.
The resulting delivery found Yates completely unmarked in the box. He didn't even need to jump, as the ball simply cannoned off his head and flew into the top corner 🚀🗑️
CMOB were now playing some lovely football and would soon score the goal of the day.
The move flowed from one side of the pitch to the other, involving seemingly everyone in claret and blue. Eventually, the ball found Yates, who produced a lovely backheel into the path of Nick Baldwin. Nick curled an effort towards goal, the keeper got a weak hand to it, but could only help it into the top corner.
Yates had been a menace all afternoon and turned provider once again shortly after, laying one on a plate for Joe Borockzy to finish 🍽️
By this point, Lewis Clarke had finally woken up from his pitchside nap and entered the action 🍻
Lewis immediately got involved, threading a pass through the Pilgrim defence for Yates, who calmly added another goal to his tally.
With four goals to his name, Yates decided he'd done enough scoring for one afternoon and turned his attention to boosting his assist statistics instead 📈📊
The debutant would go on to provide two more assists for strike partner Joe Borockzy, rounding off a fantastic afternoon for the boys in claret and blue 🩷🩵
Ryan "Porko" Peck once again put in a standout performance at the back and was immense throughout.
However, there was only ever going to be one Man of the Match.
On his debut, James Yates was simply unstoppable. Strong, clinical, skilful, and a constant nightmare for the opposition defence.
Goals
James Yates ⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️
Joe Borockzy ⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️
Jake Evans ⚽️
Nick Baldwin ⚽️
Assists
James Yates 4️⃣
Jake Evans 2️⃣
Joe Borockzy 1️⃣
Nick Baldwin 1️⃣
Lewis Clarke 1️⃣
MoM
James Yates 🥇
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