Talking Therapy with Diane Jones

‘CAN YOU FIX ME?’
It’s one of the questions I’m asked most often when a new client comes to see me.

“How long will it take to fix me?”
“Can you fix me?”
“It’s over to you now to fix me.”

And if I’m honest, whenever I hear those words, I still feel a tiny flutter in my stomach from an old familiar friend… responsibility.
It’s taken a while but I realise now that because I’m a therapist it doesn’t mean I never experience old feelings or triggers from my childhood. The difference is that through the therapeutic work I’ve done on myself, I recognise them more quickly and can quieten them down with compassion now.

The thing is, it isn’t my job to fix anyone because I don’t see people as broken.
What I do see are people who have been carrying pain, loss, confusion, trauma, self-doubt, grief, or difficult life experiences for far too long.

My experience of therapy isn’t about someone fixing you.
It’s about
🤍Being truly heard
🤍Being seen
🤍Being understood
🤍It is about having a safe space to explore the parts of yourself you have hidden, ignored, or perhaps never fully understood.
I walk alongside my clients and I bring knowledge, experience, curiosity, and compassion.

BUT, the real change happens when clients begin to understand themselves differently, challenge old patterns, and discover strengths they didn’t realise they had.
So if you’ve ever wondered whether a therapist can fix you, perhaps a different question might be:

“What might become possible if I gave myself permission to heal?”

What are your thoughts on reading this? Have you ever felt like you needed someone else to “fix” you? 🦋

🦋 VULNERABILITY IS OFTEN THE DOORWAY TO CHANGE……
I’ve noticed that many people come to therapy wanting things to be different, wanting change.
They may want healthier relationships, greater confidence, stronger boundaries, or freedom from anxiety…….
But what often stands in the way is a fear of feeling vulnerable.

The truth is, I understand fear and there have been times when I’ve wanted things to change, but I didn’t want to expose the messy feelings underneath. Vulnerability felt uncomfortable because it asked me to step into uncertainty.

Ive noticed that the clients who make the biggest breakthroughs are the ones who gradually find the courage to be honest with themselves and with others.
They allow themselves to be seen.
They speak the words they’ve been holding back.
They take small steps despite the fear and I often suggest to look up Brené Brown because she says it beautifully, vulnerability is courage.

So, if you are reading this and longing for change, perhaps the question isn’t “What do I need to do?” but “Where do I need to be a little more vulnerable?”
That might look like asking for support or setting a boundary. It might be sharing how you really feel or simply admitting that you’re finding things difficult. Ive seen that it can often be the very thing that opens the door to healing.

Is there one conversation you have been avoiding because it feels vulnerable?
No details needed, just a word or phrase if you’d like to share here 🦋

Have you ever had a period where your mind feels completely blank?

Since coming back from Wales, I’ve been busy with clients, life and creating an exciting series of videos (that will be coming) and I realised I haven’t been on this page much…..
THEN I had a complete blank what to share here, which is unusual for me which is unusual as I normally have lots to say ☺️

Sitting quietly for a moment and it struck me how I often have clients who believe they should always be motivated, productive, creative, positive, or “have it together.”

So actually I believe that sometimes after a busy period, a holiday, a life change, or even after achieving something important, our minds need time to reset.

🦋 Lack of inspiration doesn’t mean you’ve lost your spark
🦋 A quiet moment in time doesn’t mean you’ve run out of ideas.

Sometimes it’s simply our mind asking for a little breathing space before the next chapter begins 🤍

Can anyone else relate?

I’ve just come back from a week in Wales… and honestly, it challenged something in me I didn’t even realise I still carried.
Somewhere along the way, I’d formed a belief that Welsh people perhaps wouldn’t warm to me because I’m English.

Well let me share that……every single person I met was kind, welcoming, helpful and genuinely lovely.
It really made me reflect on how quietly our beliefs can sit beneath the surface, shaping the way we expect people, situations, and even ourselves to be… often without us even noticing.

The powerful part is that beliefs can change once we become aware of them and are willing to challenge them.
Sometimes one experience can rewrite an old story completely.

What’s a belief you once held that life later proved wrong? 🦋

It often feels to me that sometimes the hardest part of growth is recognising your own value and I realised that I’ve personally struggled with this in so many areas over the years……
So, after two years as a qualified counsellor, supporting clients through anxiety, grief, relationship struggles, trauma, self-worth and life’s many challenges, I have made the decision to increase my counselling fee from £40 to £50 per session.

This reflects not only my qualifications and continued professional development, but also the care, empathy and dedication I bring to every session.
I know reaching out for support can feel daunting, so I aim to provide a safe, confidential and non-judgemental space where you can feel heard, understood and supported at your own pace.

🌱 Short or long-term counselling available
🌱15-minute free consultation call
🌱 In person in Cliffe Woods, Kent or online

Thank you to everyone who has trusted me with their journey so far 🦋🙏🤍

Butterfly Cove Counselling
Diane Jones MBACP

Getting ready to watch my son get married yesterday reminded me that relationships rarely follow a straight line.
To be honest it’s taken me a while to truly understand that love is not about perfection……but that love asks us to grow, heal, risk again, and stay open even after disappointment.

What I do know is that second chances are not failures but they are evidence of courage, hope, and the human capacity to begin again.
The day was filled with so much love and was a beautiful reminder that new beginnings can happen at any stage of life.

A very special day for our family and so grateful to be part of these wonderful moments ❤️

One of my favourite inspirational voices, Brené Brown, recently shared that she is celebrating 30 years of sobriety and it’s made me admire her even more.

I have known many people whose lives have been deeply affected by alcohol addiction. It can change people, control lives, impact relationships, and affect both physical and emotional health. Reaching a milestone like this takes immense courage, honesty, strength, and determination.

If you are struggling with alcohol or any other addiction, please know that support is available and recovery is possible. You do not have to face it alone 🦋

Yesterday marked my 30-year sobriety birthday, and I wanted to celebrate by sharing one gratitude for each decade.

1. My sobriety will always be the most important thing I do, because it allows me to fully love—and be loved by—the people who matter most in my life. I’m grateful for it every single day, even when it feels like a street fight.

2. Five years ago, a woman approached me in an airport and thanked me for writing about sobriety as a superpower. She said it helped her get sober. I’m grateful for all the people whose words helped me along the way. Before boarding her flight, she asked if I’d accept a gift from a stranger. I said yes. She handed me her first AA chip. I carry it in my purse every day. We were never strangers.

3. My favorite line from the AA Big Book reads: “That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we have been placed in a position of neutrality—safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.”

Understanding and keeping in fit spiritual condition has been a decades-long challenge for me. I wrote about it in the final chapter of Strong Ground and I thought I’d share that full chapter with you today as a “thank you.” To read, go to the home page of brenebrown.com.

Today I am sober af and I am grateful. ❤️