Coaching with Cara

Something in you already knows things could be different with food.

You wouldn't still be reading this otherwise.

Book the free call.

Thirty minutes.

You talk, I listen. (and I do listen properly, not to respond, but to actually understand what's going on for you).

You'll leave knowing what's causing these cycles you are going round in and what a different relationship with food could look like in your actual life.

Not some ideals version of it.

Yours.

No plan pushed on you.

No judgement.

If it feels like the right time, the link's in my bio.

And if it's not quite yet, save this post. You'll know when you're ready.

Now I just eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full.

It feels so normal but for me, it's revolutionary."

- Alison, Shrewsbury

Alison didn't follow a meal plan. Nothing was off limits. There was no before and after photo.

There was no calorie or protein targets.

She just started understanding herself a bit better.

She’s a clever woman who is used to making decisions, she just needed to use that decision making power around food again.

That’s when she started making changes and they stuck.

If Alison sounds like you, head to my bio and book in for a quick call with me and I’ll talk you through I can coach you to making informed decisions around food which feel good.

What if the answer wasn't out there at all?

If you've ever said "I'll start Monday" or "I know what to do, I just don't do it" this podcast episode is for you.

This week on Chatting with Cara I'm talking about why you keep looking externally for food answers, and why the one thing that actually breaks the diet cycle has been inside you all along.

No more outsourcing your decisions to apps, plans, or other people's food rules.

Search "Chatting with Cara" where you get your podcasts from or follow the link in my bio.

Adding something else to an already full plate sounds awful.

But here's what I'd gently push back on.

You're already dealing with it.

Every evening.

Every time something hard happens and you end up in the kitchen.

Every time you feel rubbish after and promise yourself it'll be different.

That's already taking up time and energy.

Quite a lot of it actually (more than actually tackling the root cause).

It’s not about adding more.

It's about swapping something that isn't working for something that does.

You just do the work and on the other side you can’t believe you ever spent that much time thinking about food.

It's not that food stops being important (or tasty).

It's that it stops being the thing you're thinking about all the time.

You eat something and move on.

That's it.

No spiral, no tallying it up, no right “I’'ll be better tomorrow”.

You come home after a hard day and you have options.

Food might be one of them.

Wine might be one of them.

But they aren’t the only ones.

That's it really.

That's what building a different relationship with food looks like.

Not a transformation.

Not a before and after.

Just, more choice and less noise.

Here’s a question for you, what would feel different for you, if food was just... food?

I had a client who came to me convinced she was just someone who couldn't cope with stress without eating.

In her own words “this is just who I am.”

So we looked at it.

Properly.

Without judgement, with curiosity. (listen to episode 94 of Chatting with Cara for more about curiosity)

She was running on no sleep, saying yes to everything, and genuinely had nothing in her day that was just for her.

Not one thing.

By the evening she was running on empty and food was the one thing that felt good.

That's not a character flaw.

That’s not her personality.

That's someone who needed more than food was giving her, and food was the only thing on offer, it is readily available after all, it doesn't talk back and it does taste nice.
Once she could see that, really see it, we worked on building other things in.

Small things.

Things that actually fit her life.

She still has hard days, I can’t sort those out for you sorry.

But food isn't the thing she reaches for anymore.

That's what a different relationship with food actually looks like.

Head over to my podcast “Chatting with Cara” as I know you will find some great things in there to help you.

Nobody has taught you this.

When something happens around food, for example you ate more than you meant to, you reached for something when you weren't hungry, you did the thing you said you wouldn't do, most of us go straight to the same place.

Why can't I just stop?

What's wrong with me?

When you do that though, it gives you nothing.

No information.

Just the same pattern, again.

What if instead the question was - “What was actually going on for me there?”

Not to beat yourself up from a different angle.

Just to get curious.

Because when you understand what's causing the behaviour, you can actually do something about it.

Not before.

What are your thoughts on that?

You already know it's not really about the food.

You knew that before you'd even finished the bag.

That moment of "oh, I wasn't even that hungry".

That's not a you problem.

That's just information you haven't learned to use yet.

And that's a completely different thing.

Save this post if you relate to it.

She was buying a sugary coffee every day on the way home from work.

She didn't even like coffee.

So instead of telling her to stop, I asked her what the coffee was actually doing for her.

Turns out it wasn't about the coffee at all.

It was about being the most senior woman in a male dominated workplace and having to be completely on it, all day, every day.

The coffee was just something that was hers. A bit of time. A pause before walking back through the front door and starting the next shift as mummy.

Once she got that, she didn't want the coffee anymore. Not because I told her not to have it. Because she understood why she was having it.

That's what this week's episode is about.

Stop solving the wrong problem.

Because it's not the coffee. It's not the chocolate. It's not the wine. It's what's underneath it and until you deal with that bit, nothing is going to stick.

New episode of Chatting with Cara is out now, link in bio or seach where you get your podcasts from.