Southampton Spartans Korfball Club

What time is it???…It’s Summertime🌞😎🏐💚

You may have lived your Hot Girl Summer, and your Brat Summer, but have you ever lived your Hot Brat Korf Summer???🔥⚡️

Contrary to popular belief, High School (the) Musical was actually based off a teenage Korfball team… it was only changed to basketball by USA office in the early 00s due to Korfball posing a threat of world domination 📠💽😱

…Now is your perfect chance to experience the love that Troy and Gabriella both shared for korfball 🫶

We may not be offering paid summer jobs at the country club, but we can offer you some FABULOUS opportunities to have fun and make new friends✨

Afterall, why be a Wildcat when you can be a Spartan?💚😉

1 WEEK TO GO….✨🎉🏆📣

Is everyone really a winner???? I guess you’ll have to wait and find out live at Spartans’ most prestigious night of the year✨🤩

Be there or be Guildhall Square…🙄🏛️

Spartans’ Super Troopers on Super Sunday🫡🖖💚💚

Last weekend marked the end of our season with all 4 of our dazzling teams taking to the court for one last mosh🤘🎸

Huge encore for every single Spartan who brought the bass…what a year it’s been!! 🥁 👏🕺

Even social media HQ has run out of vocabulary to sum up all of the successes that have gone down…does that mean we’re letting Copilot take over????? ….I hope not😫😫

Who’s that chick??…I believe it’s Samba the capybara 👀

The world can finally stand down its troops, for Hampshire’s estranged rodent has now been found, doing what she loves…Korfball🏐

Our club has been trying to recruit more girls all season, and on Thursday night, Samba the capybara, who once belonged to , found her true home with Southampton Spartans💚💚

She’s a natural defender with a great long shot, and although her short stature doesn’t favour a reliable collect, her fast-twitch muscle fibres appear to defy Darwin’s evolutionary norms🧮 We may not be top of the league this year but with Samba’s help we are now top of the food chain in kingdom anamalia… and while most Capybaras are religious herbivores, Samba eats Rooks and Bulls for a light afternoon snack 🍖🍗 (…watch out 😬)

Adapting well to her new court-side habitat, Samba is looking to join the committee for next year and is brewing a convincing manifesto to increase diversity within the club💪🌈 While she works on this, Samba has asked that drones stop trying to find her and that zookeepers watch her from the sideline only, as any physical contact will result in a penalty for the opposition✋🛑

Spartans’ Most Sophisticated 🏆🏅

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I’ve been Southampton but I’ve never been to Silverstone…🏎️🏁🔥

Last night Spartans dropped all things korfball and got behind the wheel for a competitive night of zoomies that really separated the (Lightning) McQueens from the MacLarens ⚡️🚜 Hungry for a taste of the checkerboard, our red bull-wannabes put pedals to metals in a dizzying session around the track…their displacement may have remained at zero🔃👨‍🔧but these speed demons certainly clocked up a few MPHs…and some of them don’t even drive in the real world!😱🙊

Forever 19???🎂💫💚

There was one number that just kept creeping onto last week’s scoreboard…NINETEEN 🕖….both for better and for worse🏆🙈 Either way, Spartan’s sweat really smelt like teen spirit as they whipper-snapperd their way through their games with youthful sparkle✨…next we’ll be catching them on the 6-7 hype and obsessing over skincare🙀🤓

#67

The Winter Olympics…now featuring Korfball🏐❄️

Last week our first team had it all figured out as they skated around the sports hall with some serious slalom moves that luged them into victory🎿 🏂

With constant curling around the ball, Spartans 1 sent an avalanche of talent that has allegedly kick-started the Olympic torch relay 2 weeks premature 😱🤔…time to defrost Seb Coe and get ready for some more major Bob-Slaayyyyys this season…to get a pizza the action, watch out for Spartans at Milan 2026 (deep within the realms of the BBC red button 🔴)

Ciao Bellas 🇮🇹✌️🍕

Daniel Craig (Law)… the Bond of Korfball🔫🏐🕵️

On last week’s super Sunday, Dan showed that he really did have no time to die as he executed a spectre of skills that gained him MVP, as voted by the enemy👏

Far from undercover, he mixed all the right secret agents on court to ensure the writing would be on the wall for the win, leaving the opposition both shaken and stirred🏆 ✍️🍸

If MI6 recruited based on korfball charisma, Dan would sure be up there as 008 reporting for duty, he secured more goals than we could count (no we actually lost count) and moved quicker than Judy Dench in her Aston Martin 🏎️