The Stork And I

When you’re donor conceived and raised in a solo parent family, Father’s Day can sometimes raise questions about how, or even whether, you want to celebrate.

In our house, we created FUDGE Day instead, which feels much more inclusive.

F – Friends (or Fathers)
U – Uncles
D – Donors
G – Grandparents
E – Everybody

It’s a chance to make cards, show appreciation, and celebrate the people who are important in our lives.

I wasn’t sure whether D would want to continue with it this year. We’ve never really celebrated Father’s Day in our family and as she gets older I thought she might decide it wasn’t something she wanted to do anymore.

But never one to miss out on a celebration, she was very keen to keep FUDGE Day going!

It was a reminder to me that it’s always worth asking what feels right for our kids, rather than assuming we know the answer.

If today feels complicated for you in any way, I’m sending you lots of love. 🩷

We are spending it celebrating my brothers birthday and watching Take That!! 🤣🩷

In today’s Meet the Coach, Reema and Mel explore the importance of feeling included, understood, and having a true sense of belonging.

They share how connecting with other solo parents helped them feel seen, heard, and less alone on their journeys.

Have you found your tribe of solo parents? How has it helped you feel understood and supported? We’d love to hear your stories in the comments 💛

It’s only 6 weeks until our Thriving Solo Camping Trip.

What makes this trip different?

It’s the bit you can’t see in the photos. It’s the time and effort and thought that goes into making sure everyone knows exactly what’s happening, who’s attending, what they need to bring, nobody arrives and feels lost.

Everyone gets the chance to actually meet each other, to sit down together, to let the kids find their feet and find their people.

We have exclusive use of the site, which sounds like a small detail but changes everything. It means it’s just us. No squeezing in around other groups, no feeling like you’re on the edge of someone else’s holiday. No wondering if the other people are in our group or not. Complete freedom for the kids to run around.

We cook and eat together which we’ve found really helps build the community spirit and last year we also danced together at our impromptu disco!!

It’s intimate enough that real connection happens, and small enough that it never tips into overwhelming.

You won’t go home with just a few nice photos. You’ll go home having made friends. Your kids will too. And you’ll carry on supporting each other long after you’ve packed the car and driven home.

That’s the part that matters most to me. The camping weekend is wonderful, but it’s the people you do it with that makes it so special.

My fave quote one year from one of the attendees was ‘it honestly feels like we’re in a Disney movie’ 🩷

Watching the sun set, eating fish and chips, the kids being read a bedtime story. Such joy.

There are 3 spaces left if anyone is interested in joining! 🩷 Our connection call is tonight to get to meet everyone else who’s coming and get any questions answered. So don’t miss out, DM me for more details and to get added to our WhatsApp planning group xx

For a while, I used to feel irritated when my daughter asked me to push her on the swing.

She was eight years old. More than capable of doing it herself.

In my head, I was thinking about everything else that needed doing. The emails. The washing. The life admin. The endless mental to-do list that comes with solo parenthood.

Why did she want me to push her when she could do it herself and I had so many other things to get done?

But then I realised something.

She wasn’t asking me to push her on the swing.

She was asking me to spend time with her.

So we’ve created what we now call ‘Swing Chat’

I push. She swings. We have a natter!

Sometimes about school. Sometimes about friends. Sometimes about completely random things that only make sense to an eight year old!! But I enjoy hearing about them none the less!

Those few minutes have become one of my favourite parts of the day.

As solo parents, it can feel impossible to find time to play. There is always something more productive we could be doing. Something else demanding our attention.

But I’ve realised there will never be a time in the future when I have more time.

The to do list won’t magically disappear. The never ending jobs won’t suddenly all be finished. I’ll never find a time when I have more capacity.

So instead of waiting until I have time, I’m trying to carve out some time, right now.

Because one day she won’t ask me to push her on the swing anymore. 😭

And I’ll be glad I said yes while she still did.

The juggle is so tough isn’t it. Do you find it hard to make time for everything? I’m constantly trying to find ways to a better balance but it’s not easy. Something always needs to give.

I’d love to hear how you do it 🩷

In this week’s Ask The Coach, Mel and Reema discuss how much they chose to share throughout their solo parenthood journeys.

As with so many things, personality plays a big role. Reema is naturally a very private person, while Mel is a self-confessed oversharer, so it’s perhaps no surprise that they approached sharing their experiences quite differently.

In this conversation, they explore how they decided what to keep private and what to share publicly. And, as with most things in solo parenthood, there’s no right or wrong way to do it, just what feels right for you.

What matters most is that you feel confident telling your child their story with openness, honesty and pride.

Did you share your journey openly, or did you keep it mostly to yourself?

And for anyone on the path to solo parenthood, be sure to check out Reema’s new book, Choice Mom. It’s an invaluable resource and a must-read for anyone considering this path.

It’s hard to overstate how much it matters when someone in the public eye speaks honestly about their journey to solo parenthood.

Not because their story is more valid than anyone else’s.
But because visibility really matters.

Natalie Imbruglia appeared on How To Fail with Elizabeth Day this week and spoke about having her son through Solo IVF. She didn’t share details and that’s completely her right, and her son’s.

But one thing she said really resonated with me.

She was upset by headlines that said she didn’t need a man.

Because that wasn’t her story.

She would have loved to meet someone. Her biological clock just wouldn’t wait for that to happen.

And I think that’s one of the most important things anyone has said publicly about this path.

Because so many of the women I work with have that same story.

Not a rejection of partnership. Not a statement about not needing a man. Just a very real and rarely acknowledged grief about how they thought they would become a parent and an acceptance of biology, and time.

Solo parenthood isn’t always a choice between a relationship and a baby.

Sometimes it’s a refusal to keep waiting for a life that may or may not arrive and a decision to do things differently from how we originally thought.

The more honestly and openly we share these stories, the more we dismantle the assumptions that sometimes still surround this path.

And for the women who are in this exact situation right now, asking themselves whether to keeps waiting or take a different route, that honesty can really help.

After coaching more than 1,000 women through exactly these questions, I know how many things sit behind a decision like this.

If you’re in this situation, I’m here to support. 🩷

Thank you for the conversation. And thank you for sharing. 🩷