Andy the Aspie

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A support worker is paid. A friend is not. A support worker writes reports, follows policies, and leaves when the shift ends or the job changes. A friend stays because they choose to. When we blur those lines, we risk asking people with intellectual disabilities to pretend that something paid for is the same as something freely given.

Real support should make friendship possible, not replace it. The goal of support is not to become someone’s social world, it is to help them build one. When staff step back from trying to be the friend, space opens to help people to build friendships with neighbours, coworkers, classmates, and community members. The measure of good support is not how close the staff relationship feels. It is whether the person’s life is bigger, richer, and filled with people who are there because they want to be.

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ID: Fionn holds a cardboard sign above his head that reads "I don't want support staff as friends" - a person walking by has stopped to read the sign.

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Well done All on the Board 🎉

Copied from my friend Sophie James -

A little reminder this Easter…

You’re allowed to indulge your inner child. 🐣

Joy doesn’t have an age limit! Fun doesn’t have to look “grown up.”

We still do Easter egg hunts, still get excited over chocolate and still make space for those small, light-hearted moments.🐰🍫

Because sometimes, that’s exactly what we need. ❤️

Let yourself enjoy it!

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The internal push and pull

For me, socialising has always felt like a bit of a push and pull. I would want to go because I knew it could be something fun and good for me, but then the anxiety would take over and the environment would start to feel like too much, so I just wouldn’t go.

But then being alone didn’t feel good either.

I remember this really clearly when I went to Canada/Alaska on a University trip. I didn’t know anyone, other than one person slightly, and I felt completely out of place at the start. Everyone else seemed to just get how to talk, how to connect, how to be, and I felt like I was trying to figure it all out from the outside.

That first week was really hard and I hated being there. I mean so hard, I had a meltdown and a big argument with the group I was assigned to for the project. I felt anxious I was constantly embarrassing myself and that I was stupid (we were all bioscience students so).

I felt like a complete alien and literally felt like I was trying to survive there. I was counting down the days, avoiding the tasks and spent a lot of time on my own. The only part I enjoyed was the scenery as the Yukon was the most beautiful place I'd ever seen.

But in the second week, something shifted. I started to realise that I wasn’t actually disliked (my group definitely disliked me but they were only 4 people 😂).
People did like me. I just needed to let them speak to me and try to put aside what I thought they might be thinking about me.

I was annoyingly taking my ADHD wrong (halfing it to make it less strong which actually makes it release faster at a high dosage 🫣) and it definitely contributed to intense paranoia which exemplified my rejection sensitivity. ☹️

It didn’t suddenly become easy, but it became more manageable, and I ended up making some really special memories. Playing games with others in the evening, being part of something and people checking in on me cause they cared.

I think a lot of neurodivergent people sit in that space of wanting connection but finding it difficult, sometimes avoiding it, but not really wanting to be alone either.

It’s not a failure, it’s just a different experience of the world.

If you relate to this, you’re not the only one 🩵

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Individuals with ADHD are often labeled as lazy due to visible difficulties with task initiation, organization, and follow-through.
However, these challenges are typically linked to executive function differences rather than a lack of effort or motivation.
When these behaviors are misunderstood, individuals may internalize negative labels and develop feelings of shame.
Recognizing the neurological basis of these difficulties can help reframe these experiences and reduce self-blame.

If this sounds like you, the Endel app is a place to start.
start here --> https://endel.sng.link/Dzeow/a0p4/cyg8

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This month, we’ve explored Sensory Processing Differences and how we can support autistic children with their needs.

Look out for next month when we’ll have a new theme centred around Autism Acceptance Month 💜

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GASLIGHTING OF AUTISTS

By Autistic Pride Mumma

Reflection & Visual first published May 15, 2019

[Text Reads: GASLIGHTING

Autists are actually extremely perceptive, and often pick up on the hidden truth that people are feeling or thinking, but not saying.

When we innocently “out” those hidden truths by showing concern or asking questions, we are often shut down, told we are wrong, mistaken, or rude.

The result is gaslighting - a form of emotional manipulation that results in us questioning our perception of reality and doubting our intuition.

Autists have been gaslit for generations to believe that WE are the ones lacking empathy and social skills.

What if it was the other way around all along?

AUTISTIC PRIDE MUMMA]

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