17/09/2026
Thursday's training.
"Putting pressure onto ourselves and dealing with pressure"
Following on from our article last week about motivation and losing motivation I wanted to talk about how I coped through some difficult times.
On Wednesday 23rd September it will be one year since losing my mum.
For 3 years she was in various hospitals and nursing homes which were all around 2 hours drive away from us.
Everyday because of her mental health for the first 2 years I went to see her, as well as trying to work, be a husband, a dad, plus enjoy our horse's.
I didn't put any pressure on myself that I had to ride everyday.
At the end of the day Sunny didn't mind if he was ridden, as long as he had food, water and turn out he was happy.
I put my competing on hold as I wasn't able to commit the time required but I kept my training going.
For me it has always been about the training and not the competing. I love the training side and wanting to improve myself and Sunny.
I kept Sunny what I called ticking over as I wanted to still keep him mentally and physically in some work.
Was it everyday, no. Were there weeks I didn't exercise him, yes. Did I worry, no.
I knew he was extremely well looked after, he looked in great condition, he felt great when I could train him and he was really happy.
I used my time with Sunny as therapy rather than putting too much pressure on myself as I already had a lot to cope with.
Everyday there was someone to talk to either doctors, nurses, social services, estate agents, solicitors, looking at nursing homes, attending meetings, having teams meetings, getting power of attorney, meeting banks, investing money etc. All this was just with mum let alone with general life and living.
The important thing was I was around the right people who supported me, guided me and listened to me. My family and friends were amazing and kept me going.
So I wanted my time with Sunny to be my time, for myself and Sunny. To try and switch off from everything.
Sometimes I just went over and groomed him, did I feel guilty that I didn't always ride him, no as he was happy.
Sunny was happy with the training I could offer him. My trainer knew what I was going through so we adapted the training to suit where we were at.
We were training at medium and advanced medium level prior to this and had just done our first medium competition at Addington and won both our sections then had to put it on hold.
My mum ended up being sectioned and in London for one year. My job which is my love and passion helped me through everyday, my clients supported me and understood my situation.
I valued my time with friends, family and our two lovely boys Sunny and Vinnie.
When I look back I wonder how I coped but it was quickly recognising I'm only human and I could only do as much each day as I could and never once felt guilty that I should be doing more.
I hope you have enjoyed reading my journey and my way of thinking.
Thank you.
