Nicole Magelaki - Wild Somatics

What we don’t always realise is that building capacity means building the safety to feel.

Our shadows only reveal themselves when this safety exists. 

This is why shadow work that doesn’t involve the body and nervous system often doesn’t even touch the surface. It keeps us locked in the mind - out of the body, where our feelings are actually felt.

Our subconscious - our body - will only allow us to feel what it knows we can hold. We build this capacity by learning the language of our female nervous system.

It’s a lost feminine art -of listening to her sensations, holding her emotions, guiding her back to pleasure and reconnecting to the intelligence of her menstrual cycle.

We touch her. We nourish her. We learn to love her and believe her- through grief, pain, love, desire, hunger, tiredness- through it all

And over time, we feel the pulse of her aliveness wake the f back up- after a lifetime of suppression.

She is not a project to fix. Not something to pathologise as disordered. 

She is not anxious or depressed.

She is a complex, intelligent ecosystem -
worthy of reverence, devotion and deep honour.

Nourishing yourself through eating regularly, frequent sweating, self touch (yes even your p.u.s.s.y) and self attunement (hands on body) is how your body registers safety and stays resourced.

Women are conditioned to pour our energy into things outside of ourselves;- our careers, our relationships and the needs of others. Being a well fed and well resourced woman is a rarity

We neglect the very things that nourish our body, heart, mind and souls. We deprive ourselves of feeling fulfilled and fully alive because all we’ve witnessed is women living in depletion and self abandonment.

We’re taught to see our bleed as dirty, our p.u.s.s.y as vulgar and something we don’t touch, our bodies as something that needs to be smaller, wrinkle less and for men’s pleasure only.

Connecting to your body in her wild beauty is your birthright. She is waiting for you to come home to her- to touch her and nourish her and show her she is safe and loved exactly as she is.

This is the work I do with women. Guiding you into deeper relationship with your body; resourcing her, nourishing her and supporting her return to safety

Many of the women drawn to working with me have recently come off birth control or are in the process of thinking about coming off it.

This is not something I’ve intentionally called. But I’m starting to understand why this keeps happening and I don’t think it’s a coincidence.

As a scientist I know birth control is considered a ‘safe’ way to prevent pregnancy and a treatment option for many symptoms and ‘disorders’ for females. But safe for what and at what cost to the rest of the body?

If you’ve followed my work for a while you know I do not consider our bodies to ever be disordered- but rather responding exactly as they should in the context of how the symptoms appear.

We’re not taught how to work with our bodies. Considering we can only get pregnant for 5-7 days out of our cycle, why are we suppressing an entire hormonal ecosystem for it?

What is often overlooked is how hormonal contraceptives don’t just prevent pregnancy- they override feminine vitality across multiple biological systems.

They disrupt;

Our HPO axis
Our ovaries ability to function
Our cervical mucus
Our skins elasticity
Our wombs motility
Our microbiome, metabolism and nutrients absorption
Our s*x drive
Our ability to feel sensations in the body-often suppressing our emotions

This isn’t just symptom management. It’s systemic suppression. Coming off these medications is often a time of the whole body awakening to what has been suppressed

It’s a time of recalibration, a journey into feminine vitality:

The HPO axis is learning to function again
The ovaries are waking back up
The cycle is starting to find its rhythm
The liver, microbiome, thyroid, brain chemistry, skin elasticity are all shifting. It is a whole body process.

Many of these women were put on these medications in their late teens- At a time when their bodies hadn’t even fully established their natural rhythm yet.

So what happens when a cycle is suppressed before it’s ever fully online?

The next chapter of my work will be focused on restoring feminine vitality through: female nervous system work, somatic experiencing, menstrual cycle embodiment, sacred herbs and hands on bodywork

I got really angry a few years ago at how much my luteal phase was affecting my relationships.

I was also deeply ashamed of how intense my anger could feel. I lived in that space of knowing I was suppressing things… but not knowing how to stop.

I thought being regulated meant holding it together. Being calm. Being the easy one.

But my body was holding all the anger that never got space to move.

The grinding teeth at night. The tight jaw in the morning. Then during luteal, everything I’d been swallowing all month came rushing out.

This is what happens when a powerful, mobilising energy sits on a nervous system that was taught it isn’t safe to express.

Instead of translating into clear boundaries and action… it gets pushed down.

What should be discernment energy becomes chronic tension. The jaw tightens. The pelvis braces. The fight response never completes.

Eventually it becomes coupled to shame:
‘I’m too much.’
‘I turn into a bitch before my period.’
‘My partner can’t handle me- there’s something wrong with me.’

Women sitting in front of me are terrified their luteal phase will ruin their relationships. Ashamed of the anger that surfaces, never realising it’s not dysfunction. It’s truth. Discernment.

And it’s critical to reach this point. Not because the shame is true, but because the more you suppress it, the more it controls you.

Feeling into it, bit by bit, without overwhelming your system is medicine.

You begin to see what was never allowed to move.

How your body learned to hold aggression in your jaw and pelvis. How you were taught good women are calm, agreeable, pleasing. How no one ever modelled healthy aggression growing up.

But in the depths of that shame, you start to find your center. She lives in your pelvis. Your womb. Your cervix. Your thighs. Your glutes.

She remembers the primal language of mobilisation.
The energy that protects what matters. The energy that says no. Sets boundaries. Moves life forward.

She remembers: anger was never meant to be suppressed. It was meant to mobilise and move through you.

Somatic healing | female nervous system | luteal phase| nervous system healing

I wrote this because my body wanted it to come through.

We’re not disembodied by choice, it’s how we’ve been conditioned to live.

This work is about reclaiming the forgotten and suppressed parts of yourself - the parts that are often screaming for your attention through symptoms (so often through our cycle).

We’ve medicalised a spiritual problem, suppressing it with medication and told there’s no cure.

But what if the “problem” isn’t your body?

What if your body has been speaking the only language it knows: sensation, fatigue, rage, tears, desire, shutdown and pain- trying to bring you back into right relationship with yourself?

A nervous system that learned to survive will always prioritise protection over pleasure. Over fertility. Over ease. Over connection.

Your symptoms are not betrayals. They are adaptations.

And adaptation is intelligent.

When we slow down enough to listen, not to fix, not to override, but to actually listen - the body softens. Safety increases. The cycle regulates not because we forced it to, but because it no longer has to scream.

This isn’t about rejecting medicine.
It’s about remembering that biology is not separate from story.
Hormones are not separate from history.
The womb is not separate from the nervous system.

Reclamation is not dramatic.
It is devotional.
It is gradual.
It is embodied.

And it begins the moment you stop asking, “What’s wrong with me?”
and start asking,
“What is my body trying to protect me from?”
and
“What would safety feel like instead?”

Somatic Healing | Female nervous system | Wild Somatics | female physiology |

Because we live in a very linear, productivity-focused world, we’ve moved away from the natural order of life–death–life.

But the natural world knows the importance of this - as it moves through the seasons. Our body knows it too, as it moves through the menstrual cycle.

We shed.
We let things fall away.
We grieve.
We plant seeds.
We tend to ourselves.

And that is how we change and grow.

Our ancestors understood this. That’s why they collectively shared and celebrated rites of passage - from our first bleed, to birth, to the many moments in life where we are asked to transition from one identity to the next.

As women, we do this by descending into the body. By building capacity to be with her sensations and tending to her needs as she moves through her innate rhythms.

When we resist it, our body holds the tension and we develop symptoms. Our systems become overwhelmed from carrying so much.

When we’re disconnected from our bodies and their intrinsic needs, we suffer.

Learning to hold myself through the life–death–life cycle that comes every month, within my relationships and through identity shifts, has been one of the greatest gifts I have given myself.

Luteal phase | female nervous system | somatic healing | female physiology | life death life

Lessons from the underworld

The last few weeks have been wild, I turned 40 then immediately went on an unexpected trip to Barcelona to help a dear friend who had emergency surgery (which was scary because I feared he would die), I got sick for the first time in years, I went on a deep underworld journey and got great wisdom from it

I only started writing again this weekend so thought I’d share some of what I’ve learnt and to be vulnerable about my desire to have a child. Because I think it’s important to be witnessed in our wanting as well as sharing a story I know others will relate to, so you feel less alone and know we don’t have to carry these burdens forever.

Many highly capable and self-aware women have an unhealthy relationship with their sympathetic energy.

Because they tend to have shame and past traumatic experiences coupled to it.

This results in Feeling stuck, depleted, or disconnected from their drive. Ambition and healthy aggression can feel uncomfortable or ‘too much,’.

In a world that tells women to be ‘good girls’ so many of us were made to belive that our anger is bad.

And in the spiritual world we were told it’s bad vibes or low frequency. I’m calling bu****it on this spiritual bypassing that had us disconnect from those powerful parts of ourselves 🤮

In reality anger is one of the most important and powerful emotions women have

We must move past this patriarchal nonsense of love and light so we can honour and learn to harness our healthy aggression for the greater good. Women need to if we want to change what’s playing out in society today.

This work is about reclaiming your wholeness, working with your unique female nervous system, learning to move between calm and action with ease, and stepping into embodied agency— fully awake, fully alive and with the agency to lead a powerful life.

I’m opening a few spaces for March. DM me WILD if you want to see if working together could be a good fit.

Our biology isn’t flawed, it’s designed this way for a reason

We were never taught how to work with it and it’s resulted in so many women hating how their body operates and shaming themselves for not being able to stay consistent over their cycle

The luteal phase has distinct physiological, emotional and spiritual needs-

More oxytocin which is the female nervous system’s main regulator and most of us are deficient in it. It is a hormone that is released through or**sm, touch, hugs, connecting with friends, massage.

Deshaming work- as females were more susceptible to shame because of how relationally wired we are. Many of us experience shame in this phase

Somatic shadow work- because this is the phase that reveals our shadows and we need to digest those experiences where they live, in the body

The women I work with are reclaiming the feminine, our ways of being, aligning our physiology, our nervous systems and the rhythms our bodies evolved to follow.

I’m booked out until the end of Feb! Excited to open bookings for March now. If you’ve been wanting to work together, DM me WILD to book a free exploratory call

Surround yourself with people who delight in your presence.

You are on a journey that requires safety and support and not everyone has capacity for that

It’s important to be around others who can hold space for all of you or at least on the path to learning how to

This was a tough lesson for me because I tried to empathise with those in pain and being the scapegoat in my family made me want to see the good in others.

This was creating so much tension in my body and pushed me away from listening to my gut instincts.

I was moving through deep grief and when I asked for help I was criticised and told I couldn’t take care of myself.

And I get it, some people don’t have the capacity and that’s ok. I’m not saying they’re bad.

I’m saying that when you’re on this path you need people that can hold space for you

and who can show you that the parts of you that you’ve disowned are loveable too.

It may mean you experience some loneliness until you find them, it may mean you only have 1 or 2 friends. This won’t always be the case.

Put yourself in spaces where these people are-

When I was in this space I went to women’s groups- I’ve found some of my dearest friends in them

Creative writing groups- writing is emotional work and you’ll find people who are willing to explores their depths

Exercise classes- find people with common interests and goals.

Your people are out there.