Brendan Mills Life Coach

Could a friend please copy and repost (not share)? We are trying to demonstrate that someone is always listening.
💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

No matter the time, the place, the problem.... there is always a person. ♡ may everyone remember there is a person for everyone

Vote Eamonn Mills Leinster player of the year currently Lansdowne formerly Dolphin and PBC

Leinster! It's Ulster Bank League Awards season again. This is your opportunity to have your say on the Provincial Player Of The Year.

To vote just comment below with the player's name and unique hashtag. Good luck!

The power of a question.

Most of us know the answers to the questions we ask ourselves.
Because we always ask the same question we always get the same answer.
This negative cycle is associated with being in a “rut” and feeling stuck.
The right question has the power to “turn the page” on your life story.
"What people think of as the moment of discovery is really the discovery of the question." - Jonas Salk

http://thenaturalclinic.ie/the-power-of-a-question/

The Power of a Question Get better results by asking yourself the right questions Brendan Mills

5 steps for success with your New Year’s resolution
• Identify your values and beliefs
• Have a clearly defined vision
• Now write out your resolutions within that context
• Make them specific and measurable
• Evaluate throughout the year.

Brendan Mills Life Coach Cork - Tip 03

Sometime different for the person who has enough perfume, scarfs, hats, jumpers, slippers and ties.

If you could give someone “health”? | The Natural Clinic Feeling good is priceless and for someone who doesn't can be invaluable. When you give the gift of a multi-choice gift voucher from The Natural Clinic you

3 Writing Strategies To Build Resilience

Gratitude diary

Processing difficult feelings

Journal writing

Writing is an extremely powerful way of supporting our lives and working through challenging times. These three have been tested through rigorous research and positively evaluated.

Gratitude diary
This is a purposeful strategy to shift our focus.
Sometimes our total focus is on the negative.
A gratitude diary could be writing about for example three things that went well today. (The three w’s “What went well” Martin Seligman).
It is about the small things and noticing the good.
There are studies that show increased well-being and improved sleep patterns, (which was huge), with participants who had permanent debilitating condition’s and/or were terminally ill.

Processing difficult feelings
If there is something historic or current that is playing on your mind write about it for 15 min for 3-4 days. You don’t need to keep it. Repeat same points if you have nothing to add.
Express your deepest feelings and thoughts.
Explore your writing, why does this upset me? What can I do about it? If I can’t do anything about it how can I soothe myself? What I have learnt from this experience?

Journal writing
Recording the daily happenings of your life
This is a repository for all of the things that interest and inspire you.
Don’t worry about grammar or choosing your words
Avoid editing which gives your inner critic the opportunity to rear its ugly head
A journal provides a safe environment to experiment and grow creatively.

How to develop a psychology of Resilience

• Self-belief
• Elasticity
• Meaning
• Social support
• Personal growth through spirituality
• Realistic-positivity
• Self-care
• Boundary setting
• Social activism and volunteerism
• Idealism
• Role models

Active agent v passive victim
In the 1980's psychologists began to identify the characteristics and traits of young people who came from difficult circumstances and succeeded rather than just study the problems of those children who failed. They termed the successful young people as being “resilient” and they then began to teach other young people to have these skills. This changed everything and suddenly they started to see tangible results.

Developing a positive mind-set
The first thing to notice is how the question you ask changes everything. The initial question of why do some people “fail” versus why do some “succeed”; by focusing on what works you literally create more of what works.

Why does self-belief help build resilience?
• I am going to persist longer with something
• I am going to respond to opportunities
• I am going to embrace a challenge

What has helped me to succeed in the past?
• I succeed with things I feel passionate about
• If I work hard I achieve success
• Having balance in other areas of my life

What can I further add as strategies to increase my self-belief?

Self-coach
• Choose positive self-talk
• Challenge the inner critic
• Refuse to be in an adversarial relationship with yourself
• Adopt the mantra “I am on my own side”

Mindfulness
• A practice to be more present
• Quieten the part of the brain that has the inner critic voice
• Engages the part of the brain that regulates our emotions

Small incremental challenges
• Small bites instead of trying to eat the whole elephant
• Build confidence gradually
• Always push on to the next “bite”

Visualisation
• Put a successful pattern of belief into your brain
• Visualise the success before moving towards the action

Resilience is a choice
• Ask what would my best self look like?
• Move toward rather than away from difficult situations
• "Things do not change, we change"

A guide to dealing with the leaving cert blues
• Expect a lot of emotion
• Step back and pause before re-acting
• Keep everything as normal as possible
• Arguments are inevitable the key is to make up

If you have a child who has just completed the leaving cert then you are probably aware of a knot in your stomach and a feeling of being more emotional than normal, possibly being close to tears and a sense of holding it all together. This is despite the fact that the results are out and you know where you stand in relation to what is likely to happen next.

What we sometimes forget to notice is just how big a step this is for families and that this is not just another simple transition. It can bring up so much emotion for everyone concerned including the parents. There is the prospect perhaps of children leaving home and often facing that separation for the first time. There is also the loss of identity for the parent as the child asserts their independence and starts to make decisions for themselves.

So if this is your experience and it resonates with how you are feeling, then congratulations you are a normal functioning and healthy human being who has traveled a wonderful journey with your beautiful child and who is watching them emerge into the first phase of their more independent adult life. The question therefore is not why am I feeling this way? But rather in light of the fact that this is extremely tough, how I am going to get through this phase in as healthy and positive way as possible and what strategies can I use to support myself, my family and my child.

Human beings want to feel understood, validated and cared for and this is true of you and every other member of your family, including other siblings. No matter what is going on and what the tensions, everybody needs to be heard and their opinion respected. We need to continue to remind ourselves that this is a particularly emotional time for your family and everybody is on tender hooks. An important skill is to have the capacity to step back and pause before re-acting in the moment. It is very easy to be triggered and lose it over the simplest thing and in those situations I guarantee you will never regret taking a step back and pausing before you act or speak.

Because we are stressed we also often stop doing the normal things that we know keep our families healthy and happy. It is important to focus on eating and sleeping properly, exercise, talking things out, continuing with our pastimes and other forms of relaxation including socialising.

In the absence of healthy coping strategies the tendency is to engage in unhealthy responses that add to our stress over time. If you can’t relax or talk things through with a trusted friend or partner the temptation is to turn to something else. This can result in the use of medication, abusing alcohol or other substances, and we can easily end up isolating ourselves from our natural supports and losing a sense of connection with those who are important in our life.

Getting your child to this point is an achievement, it never happens without serious commitment and effort on your part. Give yourself the credit you deserve and recognise you are just as important to your child now as at any time in their life. They will need you during this transition to be there for them through all of the inevitable ups and downs that they are about to experience. Keeping the lines of communication open and positive can be difficult at times and the ability to talk through differences and make up after arguments is important. The focus is to continue to strengthen the special relationship you have with your child during this time. Watching your child mature into a happy and healthy adult is such a poignant and wonderful experience, however it also involves experiencing every other emotion and we need to be kind and compassionate to ourselves as we accompany them on their journey.

The mind-set we have predicts our behaviour

Passive V Passionate
Victim V Resilient
Resigned V Courageous
Deflated V Empowered

Change isn’t about unrealistic expectations or reckless decisions. For some people change is dramatic and sudden and for others it is subtle and gradual.
Whether it is a giant leap or baby steps the bottom line is if something doesn’t change then things will stay the same.