Crystal Meth Palace

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Cristiano Ronaldo by Philippe Vogelenzang

Cristiano Ronaldo

Tomorrow see's giant killers Crystal M**h Palace take on league leaders Pimp Juice at 13.00 on the famous GAA astro.

In recent seasons the class A's have made somewhat of a fortress on the GAA astro, most recently a historic victory over bitter rivals Darndale Pushers.

Many of Addicts will have their fondest moment in the clubs history on that pitch last year as the Class A's under the watchful eye of the Curley Ones struck tactical masterclass gold by producing a comprehensive 3-0 win against all the odds versing the would-be champions All Priests Over 75.

It is widely expected that tactics will be similar in tomorrows "must draw" fixture.

Bring your family, friends and loved ones down for a fine afternoon of footballing festivities in UCD tomorrow. Wear your blue, smoke your M**h and cheer on your heroes.

Fidelitas in M**h.

The privileged XI that take to the field to start the game tomorrow.

Big squad effort needed.

Tomorrow at 14.30, see's UCD's prestigious GAA astro plays host to one of the most fiercely contested rivalries in modern day sport, the Crystal M**h Palace - Darndale Pushers local rivalry.

This is not just a competitive football match where two teams are in the search of 3 valuable points but it is a battle of pride and bragging rights for the next 365 days. These two teams have plenty of history.

It is the first time the two sides will meet in a top flight competitive fixture in over 67 years and it is bound to be a classic.

Both teams have endured difficult starts to the season with the Class A's yet to register 3 points despite some promising performances.

Pusher's manager Mikey Hoey has been quoted saying "We are extremely wary of the threat they possess. They have men coming into a rich vein of form such as Tierny B and Matt Talbot. We will be quietly confident but expect nothing"

Matt Williams was asked this evening who he thought would prevail victorious in the D6 rivalry and he said "well most people think that BNZ stands for Bank of New Zealand but from where I come from it's known as Bloody New Zealanders". Nobody was quite sure what he meant by that but thats not the point. The point is I'd love a pint.

The game promises to be the most electrifying sporting occasion of 2015 so make sure you get down and support your Addicts.

Quantum Potes, Tantum Aude.

It is with immense sadness that I today announce the retirement of Daragh Cogley. He has been forced to retire due to a collection of career threatening injuries which he battled through one-by-one. It has become to much of a struggle that even "The Brick" must admit defeat.

Daragh was a man that played every game as if it were his last, played with his heart on his sleeve and Ciara's on his other. An integral part to the formidable back line which brought us to many a victory.

He will be sorely missed not only on the field but, in the changing room too.

From all at CMP we wish him the best of retirements and hope to see his face in the stands in the weeks to come.

CMP Community

What must have been the final game of the season took place yesterday evening, 6:30 on the GAA astro in UCD. The game was being built up from early days after the 7-3 drubbing Crystal M**h suffered at the hands of Colaiste Bogie in the reverse fixture last September. This however would not be the sweet revenge CMP longed to taste as they were forced to battle out a 4-3 loss. Goals from Matthew Talbot (32') Michael Hogan (64') and Barra Brennan (88') we're not enough to seal a win as the early season's defensive frailties jumped back into the fold. We did, however, manage to organise an excellent squad photo before the game. From left to right: Top - Michael Hogan, Luke Brosnahan, Conor Corcoran, Benn Hoey, Brian Murru, Matthew Talbot, David Sloan, Bottom - Colm Mac Mathüna, Jack Duffy, Emmet Kelly (c), Ádhaim MhacCáirthaighfh, Barra Brennan.

"We're not out of the woods yet", the cry from a desperate captain Emmet Kelly with 2 minutes remaining as Crystal M**h Palace ran out 6-5 victors in this highly anticipated Krystal derby. Brian Murru neatly poked M**h into the lead after 8 minutes before Phallus scored 3 on the bounce. Heads started to drop on the home bench before an in-swinging free kick was met by the head of Colm Mac Mathuna to peg a goal back on the half hour mark. Straight from the kick off, a blitzing run from an on-form Dean Constantine led to a third. However celebrations were cut short as phallus grabbed a fourth due to a severe break down in communication between right full (Adam) and goaly (Davy). The third equaliser was found however when James 'Jayo' O'Driscoll converted from the spot after the ever-elusive Colm Mac was fouled in the area. Ugly scenes on and off the pitch delayed the day's proceedings and saw a Phallus man receive a red card. The sound players were determined not to let this spoil the day though. With 8 goals in the first half, it was clear there would be changes required, and surely enough the eagerly awaited introduction of Cian McKeown came at the expense of Adhaim MhachChaoirthaigh. Interestingly Colm 'turn and face' Mac Mathuna was also taken off having had an lively first half, however latest reports have suggested that he picked up a knock in the nose late on in the first half. Conor Corcoran's introduction was one he was clearly relishing as he latched on to a through-ball for his first touch and slid in BB52 only to push it wide. After multiple chances, the second half deadlock was broken when Eoiny Mac's loose pull back was cooly swept in by the on-rushing Matt Talbot. With 10 mins remaining the pressure was cranked up when 'Manager' was ringing the changes and he saw his side lose their men in the area before an opposition corner was bundled in to the CMP net. With no more than forty seconds left though, the re-introduction of a flaccid Adam 'Amber' McCarthy proved vital as he smashed home a volley into the top corner teed up by the ever present Dean '4in1' Constantine. A fine -and likely ending to the season which promised so much and delivered so much more. A word of thanks to our captains, Sean & Emmet, our fan club, Eoin Mitchell, and our mangers, Curly.

After the heights of last week, CMPFC failed to reproduce the same level of intensity and concentration. Goals from Michael Hogan and Capt. Emmet Kelly were mere consolation efforts. As the season draws to a close, these performances need to be left in the changing room. (below, a mystified Conor Corcoran looks on as an uninspiring performance from his team led to a 4-2 hiding at the hands of The Old Ladies, this Sunday morning)

The one every M**h head has been waiting for all season. League leaders and smoking hot favourites All Priests Over 75 have bullied most teams in this years competition with an impressive 37 points from a potential 42 going into todays battle.
A glorious 16.00 KO on the previously infamous GAA astro played host to what was the cherry on top of a fantastic sporting weekend.
In the two week build up to this game self proclaimed gaffer 'The Curley One' had come under scrutiny from not only the public but from inside the M**h camp. Was his job safe? Well if it was ever in doubt before the game it no longer is. It's as secure as PayPal Security Centre. A tactical master class from 'Curley'. Opting the play a 6-3-1 against an attacking power class is a bold and dangerous call but my God it spoke for itself. Some said it would only end in heartbreak and a 0-0 draw but Corcoran et al had other ideas. A nervy opening quarter saw C. Corcoran pounce on a glorious M**h ball to slice past the centre half's and poke the ball under Joe Fart.
The whispers from the stands were that M**h couldn't keep it up, M**h will OD after the interval. Kaptain Kelly and his team ignored this Badoobeeness and rallied his team to 2 more goals to bring the ball game to 3-0 in favour of the Class A's.
A huge shoutout to what has been the hardest Man of the Match award all season but Kaptain 'Krunch' Kelly did himself and Crystal M**h proud with a Klean Sheet. Big shoutouts to Bosh, Jayo and the goal scorers Diego Corcoran (29), Burra Brenna (52) and Michel Hogan (79).

Fidelitas in M**h.

In a performance billed as the second coming of Crystal M**h Palace, the M**hheads comfortably defeated a tame Crystal Phallus 2-0 yesterday afternoon. It was the type of performance which has seldom been seen since the start of the season as the lads put on a fine performance on a lovely day down in PooCD.

"Champagne Football being played out there!" exclaimed a passer by. "Nope, that's Crystal M**h football, yi c**t" , retorted stand-in interim manager Jish Murphy, and he couldn't have been more right.

A tidy finish after rounding the keeper by MH15 coupled with a goal of the season contender from Jai-Ho were enough to secure the three points; and after weeks of consecutive dirty sheets both on and off the field, the back four defended resolutely to keep Danny Hogan's gapped goal mouth safe from opposing strikers.
This defensive grit was epitomised by on-loan right back Ryan O'Dea, who's decision to see 50 Shades of Grey the night before paid dividends such was the domination he exerted on his opposing winger throughout the match.

Are Crystal M**h back to their best? Only time will tell, but this was certainly a step in the right direction. Until next week. Keep M**hin'