Embassy DOJO

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT! 📣

New Global Karate Guidelines Issued by the International Karate Standards Committee (IKSC)

Effective from 1st April, the following updates will apply to all karate dojos worldwide:

1. Kiai must now be pre-approved using a decibel app to ensure consistent volume. Anything under 80db will be classed as a whisper. Anything over 110db must be followed by an apology to the neighbours.
2. Gi sleeves may no longer be rolled up. Offenders will be required to complete 100 “I will not disgrace my uniform” punches before class begins.
3. All warm-ups must now include interpretive kata – spontaneous movements expressing your inner warrior, preferably to flute music.
4. Students must now answer all instructions with “Oss”, “Yes, Sensei”, or a short poem written in the style of a haiku.
5. Dan grades are now required to train blindfolded once a week to “sharpen their spirit”. Ukes must be volunteers. Or volunteers’ siblings.
6. Foot sweeps are now permitted only if you shout the name of the technique before executing it. Bonus points for dramatic delivery.

We understand these changes may take some getting used to. Further details will be shared in due course, along with a 47-page PDF.

April Fools! 😉
(Please keep shouting technique names though. It’s hilarious.)